


A Messi Love

by stillgold



Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-11-10
Packaged: 2018-04-07 13:46:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 69,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4265430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillgold/pseuds/stillgold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kun knew he never should have had that last drink. Now he's gone and spilled his deep dark secret to Masche. And why is Kun's feelings for Leo the only secret Masche can't keep?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Copa America has been very inspiring. This is slightly AU. Antonela is only Thiago's nanny here and Leo is as single as can be! Kun is also single in this world. :) I hope you enjoy! ;)

Kun was not happy.

To be fair, he wasn’t exactly _unhappy_ , just not his usual bright self.

 _It was the alcohol_ , he thought dully, looking at his half-finished cup of amber liquid. It always slowed his usually whirring mind and it made him think of—

Well, _Leo._

He usually managed to stop himself thinking of Leo, except for the nights when his hands slid into his shorts and—

Well, the point was, he didn’t _often_ think of Leo.

Kun forced himself not to look for him and instead turned to Masche, who was still ranting bitterly about the argument he’d had with his wife last night. Kun stretched his legs out. They were both sitting against the wall on the floor, apart from the rest of the party. Kun had tired himself out dancing and Masche had just wanted to talk.

Masche and Leo had just arrived to Chile from Barcelona, fresh from winning that holy trinity: the treble. It still awed Kun that Leo had won it _twice_ —but then everything Leo did was jaw-dropping these days.

Kun had been the one to suggest an impromptu party to celebrate. And he’d always been good at rallying the troops. The whole team had trooped down to the hotel’s tiny party room—their main hall was booked for another event—which Kun had wheedled a cleaning lady into opening just for them.

Seeing Leo again was both a torture and a joy, but tonight, he was determined to focus on the latter. He wanted a fun night, one of dancing and laughter so that he could get over that first meeting.

He called it _The First Meeting_ _Syndrome_. It was what happened when he saw Leo again after some time apart. His senses became so flooded with Leo that he often did irrational, overtly sentimental things. Once he'd sobbed so hard that he'd had to pretend the fried chicken commercial had made him hungry and cranky. He still didn't know how Leo had bought it. And since then he'd had to enthuse about fried chicken in such a way that it seemed believable that he'd once weeped over it.

In short, he’d learned the hard way. That he had to lessen the blow of it all. And what better way to diffuse sexual tension and pathetic pining than alcohol? And loads of it.

“How can she blame me? She knows we’re not allowed!”

Kun nodded absently, secretly thinking that Masche was a fool. Why say no to your wife just because the coach had forbidden sex?

“You don’t know how lucky you are, Kun,” Masche said, his head dropping against the wall with a _thunk_. “No stress.”

“Mm.”

“I mean, you know what I have to go through? She just doesn’t understand.”

Kun stayed quiet. He’d always been incredibly careful, even when drunk, not to say anything, but suddenly he felt himself becoming furious with Masche for assuming he had it easy.

He knew what everyone thought about him. Happy-go-lucky, bubbly, mischievous Kun, who played in one of the greatest leagues, was one of the top strikers, had a beautiful son. Lucky, _lucky_ Kun.

It was true. He _was_ lucky. His son was the love of his life and even if it hadn’t worked out with the mother, they were still friendly. Not everyone had such an understanding ex. And although his season had been filled with injuries, he had still come out the top goal scorer of the league. And, yes, his club had suffered a lot of disappointments, but he was confident they’d do better next season.

And even though _La Albiceleste_ had stumbled at the World Cup Final last summer, the Copa America was here and he was _sure_ they would win. Especially when Leo was in _that_ kind of form.

Kun had money, family, his looks (damn right), and he had football.

So all in all, he had it good. He knew that. He was fully aware of how blessed he was.

But that didn’t change how things were with Leo. How sometimes he simply ached with it all, how difficult it was to always pretend, always hide, how tiring, how exhausting it could all be.

“Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be you!” Masche said, grinning, breaking into his reverie. “So many _chicas_ and no worries, am I right?”

Later, Kun would blame the alcohol. He had no other explanation for why he suddenly snapped. Certainly, many others had made the same joke. “Lucky!” he exclaimed bitterly. “Yeah, I’m so fucking lucky.”

Masche looked wary. “Why, aren’t you?”

Kun snorted. He tossed back the rest of the drink. “Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I don’t—“ He snapped his mouth shut abruptly, aware that he was breaking his cardinal rule. _Shut up shut up shut your goddamn mouth_ , he thought desperately.

But his head was swimming. Rational thought had flown out of the window. The need to prove to Masche that he had it better than Kun was suddenly overwhelming. “You don’t—you don’t even _know_ , Masche,” he mumbled, aware that he was sounding drunk and unable to stop himself anyway.

“Tell me, Kun.” Masche’s voice was dangerously soft, dangerous because it made Kun want to tell him. It made Kun want to trust him. And he knew better. He knew how well he'd guarded this secret. 

But, goddamn, it was lonely. He had been carrying it around for years, the unbearable _thing_ that never ever gave him peace.

Suddenly tired, Kun closed his eyes. “Why doesn’t he love me back?” His voice came out quieter than he expected and he felt a giant wave of fury at his own mouth, that betrayer of all things sacred.

Masche’s head snapped around so fast Kun swore he heard a crick. “What?” he breathed.

And that was when Kun knew he was done for. Masche was a dirty dog, who’d never give up on a single damn thing—Kun could see him fighting with the Devil himself—and he wouldn’t rest until he’d extracted every piece of information from Kun.

But that didn’t mean Kun couldn’t fight. He was _Kun Aguero_ , for God’s sake, and damned if he was going to give up his biggest secret with nothing less than a war.

But right now there was the little matter of him being drunk as a skunk and Masche being—well not _quite_ as drunk.

“Er,” Kun said cleverly, eyes involuntarily straying to Leo. Who was as usual completely oblivious and laughing at Pocho’s jokes. Pocho slung an arm around Leo while he talked and Kun’s eyes narrowed.

He _hated_ Pocho.

With a huge effort, he dragged his mind back to Masche, who was shrewdly looking between him and Leo. _Shit shit shit_ , Kun thought. Had it really been that _easy_? Had he really been that _stupid_ that he’d given it all away with a _look_?

Truly, he was never drinking again.

He pasted on a broad smile and said, “How’s your anus now?”

Masche’s eyes were so wide, Kun worried if he’d tear his eyelids too. “Kun,” he said, staring at him.

Kun felt something inside him waver. But he continued smiling. “Masche”, he sang back, waggling his eyebrows. “Don’t be so serious! You know I love being dramatic.” He winked sloppily, too drunk to get it right.

But he knew it was over. Masche’s expression was so serious that Kun sighed.

Not one drink again. Ever.

Masche leaned in and hugged him suddenly, tightly. He wasn’t prone to sentiment and the gesture of it overwhelmed Kun. He swallowed hard, willing that tight ball of emotion in his chest to just _go_ _away_ but he felt his eyes prickling.

 _Fuck_.

And suddenly it occurred to him what this meant. Masche _knew_. Someone knew his secret. He knew the world had been calling them Kunessi, he knew everyone loved their relationship, but no one really _believed_ it was anything other than friendship, anything other than brotherhood.

And now he had involuntarily given it away. He felt his heart pounding. His hands were damp. He sucked in air, but couldn’t get the fear away.

Masche must have felt his heartbeat because he rubbed his hands up and down Kun’s back as if he was nothing more than a damn baby.

Kun felt a watery laugh escape him. This wasn’t how he’d pictured his night going.

Masche pulled back and said, “It’s okay. I won’t—” and he shook his head.

Though Kun knew Masche wouldn’t tell Leo, wasn’t it possible he’d tell Fernanda, his wife? And then she’d tell someone else and that someone else would tell another person?

Until finally it would come back to Leo.

He squeezed his eyes shut. _What had he done_?

“Hey.”

Kun snapped his eyes open as he felt a nudge on his foot. He craned his head up to look at Leo, standing near him, smiling, eyes soft. “Why aren’t you dancing?”

Kun wondered if Leo had ever guessed. Whether he’d ever wondered why Kun was so loving, so generous, so patient with Leo. What if he’d known all this time?

Jesus, he was spiraling out of control, acting like a nut. He needed to get a hold of himself. _Now_.

“Leo! Treble winner!” Kun grinned. He patted the ground next to him.

Leo plopped down. He sat close to Kun, arms brushing against him. Kun felt Masche watching them intently and, to his horror, felt a blush working its way up his face.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Was Masche _crazy_?

Kun elbowed Masche, but his hand slipped backwards and hit the wall. He ignored the pain and Masche’s smirk and turned to Leo. Who was looking across the room at Pocho and laughing as he danced sloppily with Rojo.

“Pocho is crazy, huh?” Kun blurted, unable to stop himself, willing himself to stop being jealous.

Leo grinned. “Yeah, he was telling me some wild story.” He shook his head. “You have to hear it.”

Kun could feel Masche’s pitying eyes. He wanted to kill him. “Oh, great, yeah, I will,” he said, then rose abruptly, sloshing his drink a little. “I’ll go turn myself in,” he continued brightly, turning back to Masche and Leo. They looked surprised. “I’m feeling tired!”

Leo’s eyebrows came together and he instantly stood. “What’s wrong?” he said in an undertone.

Kun noticed that Masche wasn’t even pretending to give them privacy, watching them avidly. He really _hated_ that guy.

“I’m just tired. Practice was hard today.”

Leo searched his eyes. “Shall I come?” he asked softly.

Kun swallowed. That damn _First Meeting Syndrome_. He shook his head. “A man needs some alone time,” he grinned, winking lewdly at Masche, who rolled his eyes.

Leo smiled at that. Gently he pressed his cheek against Kun, brushing his lips against Kun’s ear. “All right. Good night.”

Kun turned around abruptly, hoping the sudden bulge in his pants wasn't visible, and walked out of the room, leaving Masche and Leo together, staring at his back.

It occurred to him only later when he’d already changed into shorts and removed his shirt—Leo liked the room so damn hot—that he should never have left a tipsy Masche alone with an equally tipsy Leo.

Panicked, he sat bolt upright in bed and considered. Masche had already been in a chatty mood. What if he decided that he needed to exercise his leadership here?

Cursing, he threw off the bedcovers. Going back now would just be odd. What would he say? That he wasn’t tired anymore? That he was suddenly rejuvenated from five minutes of sleep?

He covered his face with his hands and groaned out loud. Why on earth had he opened his big fat mouth?

He could never sleep now, never, never.

But it was his last conscious thought as the alcohol worked its magic—and in five minutes, Kun was on his back, splayed across the covers, snoring.

* * *

He woke up to Leo pulling the bedcovers around him.

It was so dark he couldn’t see anything, but he knew Leo’s smell. The guy had worn the same cologne and used the same soap since he was seventeen. Kun smiled sleepily.

He reached out blindly for Leo, who caught his hand and sat on the edge of the bed. “Hi, did I wake you?” Leo whispered and Kun could just picture his smile.

Kun didn’t answer, simply squeezed his hand and closed his eyes. Leo gently brushed his free hand over Kun’s hair and waited as Kun drifted off again, their hands warmly clasped.

And his last thought as he went to sleep was _I love you_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a couple of things. Argentina lost. :( I'm truly devastated, but luckily most of this chapter was written before it. I'm also now a little confused as to how to work the loss in because I never pictured it (sigh). So I don't know when the next chapter will come or how things will progress from here on.
> 
> Also, this is my first attempt at writing smut (well, it isn't really sex, but still) so go easy on me, please! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy and I hope this takes your mind off the crappy Copa America yesterday. :(

Kun had always been an early riser. He liked mornings. There was something very calming about waking up earlier than everyone else—the feeling of having the whole place to himself even if he wasn’t alone.

But Leo liked his sleep. And so Kun got out of bed as quietly as he could, mouth dry and tasting awful. _Ugh_. The alcohol had left him feeling fuzzy and nauseous. He looked over his shoulder at Leo—he was sleeping shirtless, the sheets pulled to just above his hips, facing the wall with his back to Kun.

For one long second, Kun stared at that pale expanse of skin right above the sheet and felt his morning erection get even harder. He imagined his mouth brushing against that little dip where Leo’s spine continued into his round bottom.

Goddamn. Leo was his best friend and didn’t deserve to be ogled in his sleep.

Kun grabbed a towel from the closet and entered the bathroom quickly, trying to wipe the memory from his mind. He went to the toilet and freed his cock from his boxers, wondering if he’d be able to pee with the erection. Unbidden, Leo’s shirtless back came to his mind.

He felt his cock grow harder. He looked down. It was leaking, the head turning red. Swearing, he gave in, his fist coming to gently grasp his cock. He glanced around the gleaming hotel bathroom and found the lotion. Squeezing a little onto his palm, he slicked his cock up, groaning slightly at the sensation.

His hand moved slowly at first and he watched it, imagining it was Leo’s, slowly dragging the velvety skin back and forth. He tightened his grip, maintaining the slow tempo and thought of Leo’s cock. He’d glimpsed it accidentally a few times—in the locker rooms—and it had been beautiful. Thick, pale, bigger than Kun’s—and he hadn’t even seen it hard!

Kun wasn’t ashamed of his own girth—he knew he wasn’t the biggest guy around, but it got the job done. And besides, he had other tricks up his sleeve and no girl had ever complained.

He thought of what it would be like to suck Leo’s cock, to lick that salty skin, to fit the bulbous head into his warm, wet mouth while Leo moaned. What it would be like to look up at Leo while he blew him, Leo’s hand slipping into Kun’s hair and holding his head as Kun bobbed up and down.

Kun’s hand was moving faster now, his breath coming in pants. He bit his lip, trying hard not to make a sound. He thought of Leo moaning his name, whispering _Kun Kun Kun_. The idea was so erotic that he let out an embarrassingly loud groan. His hand was whipping over his cock now.

He pictured Leo getting louder and louder as Kun sucked his cock, as he took it deeper down his convulsing throat, as he lashed his tongue against the underside of Leo’s beautiful cock. Leo with his eyes closed and saying Kun’s name over and over, gasping it as if it was a mantra, only Kun in his thoughts, until finally he came in Kun’s mouth.

That sent him over the edge and Kun gasped as his orgasm came, his cock throbbing and pulsing, the pleasure low in his belly and his balls, as jets of come fell into the toilet. He moved his hand slower now, gently milking his cock.

Spent, he sat on the edge of the bathtub and looked at his wet hand. This was _pathetic._

Humiliated, he flushed the toilet and stepped into the showers, turning the water on scalding hot in a futile attempt to cleanse the memory of jacking off to his innocent best friend—who was sleeping _just outside_.

Kun let the water beat down on his head and soaped himself up. He had a naturally upbeat personality and could count only a handful of times where he’d truly wallowed. He just couldn’t stand being sad and didn’t see the point in it.

He’d only ever cried a few times about Leo—and that had usually been alcohol related or when they’d fought. Which, to be fair, wasn’t often.

Grimly, he turned his face up to the stinging heat of the water and turned his mind forcibly to breakfast and training. Football always distracted him and he let it, filling his mind with dribbles, free kicks and penalty shots.

* * *

When he emerged from the bathroom half an hour later, hair wet, towel draped around his waist, feeling fresh, energized and happy, he stopped short and swallowed. Leo was awake, still shirtless, clad only in boxers—and lying down on _Kun’s_ bed.

Kun briefly wondered if the universe was fucking with him. Surely he wasn’t such a bad fellow. Surely he didn’t deserve _this_ level of mindfuckery.

“Morning,” Leo said sleepily, smiling at Kun. “I had to charge my phone.” He waved it as he spoke, indicating the plug next to Kun’s bed.

Kun cursed his life. There had to be no plugs next to Leo’s bed, didn’t there? What a joke.

He turned away, determined not to see the way Leo’s naked torso was brushing against his sheets. He felt a stirring in his pants and was wildly tempted to give his crotch a stern talking-to.

Maybe later, though. Leo might not understand.

“What a beautiful day, eh?” Kun sang, throwing open the curtains. Rich sunlight flooded the room and he felt a warm happy feeling bloom in his chest at the thought of playing football in a couple of hours.

Leo rolled to his side and smiled, looking at Kun. “You look good. Have you upped your workouts?”

Kun felt a blush start somewhere around his chest and rush upwards. _Damn damn damn_.

“Yeah!” Humour had always been his way out and this was no different. He flexed his biceps, grinned and raised an eyebrow. “I’m out of your league now.”

Leo laughed. He lazily sat, leaning his elbows on his thighs and looking at Kun. With the sunlight on his face, his hair flopping messily around his head, he looked so damned delicious, Kun thought briefly about joining him, friendship or no friendship.

“I want to talk to you.”

Kun stiffened, his heart suddenly pounding. Leo looked serious and a little… angry? Oh, God. Had Masche spilled it already?

He nonchalantly walked over to his suitcase, trying desperately not to look worried, rummaging for a pair of boxers. “Mmhmm?”

“Masche told me what you were talking about last night.”

Kun felt his world spin. Surely this had to be a nightmare? He turned around to Leo, feeling suddenly naked, wishing desperately that he was dressed. It felt wrong to have this talk when he wasn’t even wearing _underwear_ , for God’s sake.

Well, honestly, he’d _never_ pictured having this talk with Leo. And from yesterday’s drunken blathering to _this_ early morning confrontation—it was all going too fast and, dammit, Masche, _why_?

He couldn’t get a single word out. He simply stared at Leo, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. His knees were shaking. His entire world had shut down just to Leo. Everything—it seemed— _everything_ hung on this conversation.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Leo asked, shading his eyes from the sunlight so Kun couldn’t quite tell if he was angry or sad or… God forbid, _disgusted_.

“L-Leo—” But that was all he could get out. Kun felt choked. Emotions were rising so fast that he felt weak. He wondered if he’d survive this “talk”.

Leo stood, coming over to him. For one mad second, Kun seriously thought about dashing out the door. But what was he going to do when the journalists found out he’d been running around the hotel in nothing but a towel?

He couldn’t look at Leo. He couldn’t think or breathe. He wasn’t ready. He hadn’t wanted this conversation and Masche had done him wrong by forcing it. He had made Kun face something he’d been prepared to ignore all his life.

And that wasn’t _fair_.

Leo was standing _too_ close. Kun wanted desperately to step back, but he was frozen.

“Kun,” Leo said softly, his hand resting gently on Kun’s arm.

The touch was like fire and it made Kun look Leo full in the face. And then something struck him. Leo’s expression was… _odd_. He didn’t look uncomfortable or shy or… turned on—he looked concerned.

Oh God, did he _pity_ Kun?

“It doesn’t matter,” Kun blurted. “I don’t—I don’t expect anything. I’m happy.”

Well, it wasn’t very articulate, but at least he hadn’t begged or cried. He mentally awarded himself a point.

“But why, Kun? You could get anyone you wanted.”

Kun felt his heart squeeze. So it was a no, then. Did Leo think it was that easy? He felt so numb he wanted to sink down to the floor. Why had Masche done this? Kun had always known that Leo didn’t think that way—but it was easier to have imagined the no without actually getting it.

“I don’t know. I’ve tried moving on.” His voice was dull. He couldn’t meet Leo’s eyes again, humiliation, shame and heartbreak overcoming him.

“Have you tried telling him how you feel?”

Wait.

 _What_?

Kun’s head snapped up. He stared at Leo, who was looking very earnest. “What?” he said stupidly.

“How do you know if you don’t try?”

Leo wouldn’t be this cheesy about himself, would he? He wouldn’t talk about himself in the third person. He felt his mind reel.

He stared at Leo dumbly, afraid to say anything. He didn’t know what was going on, but a very sane part of his mind was shouting at him to be quiet.

Leo punched him gently in the arm. “You could get anyone you want. You’re Kun Aguero!”

Kun cleared his throat. Enough was enough. “Um, what did Masche tell you, exactly?”

“Don’t worry, he didn’t tell me who, just that—well, you know. But why didn’t you tell me?”

Relief hit him so hard, he felt his knees buckle. It warred with fury over Masche opening his big fat mouth in the first place—what had he been _thinking_? A little heads-up would have been nice. A little text perhaps.

_Hey, Kun, kinda told Leo you were in love with someone. Nbd. See ya tomorrow!_

Something like that. That was the _right_ thing to do. _Anything_ was better than this.

He was so overwhelmed with relief that he flashed a brilliant smile. Leo looked a little confused at that so he tried to tamp it down somewhat.

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “I just— To be honest, Leo, I’d rather not talk about it.”

Leo looked hurt. Kun immediately reached for him, regretting his words. “No!” He was touching Leo’s bare skin now and it wasn’t the first time, but a small part of his brain was getting distracted—he’d never get used to this, _never_. “No, it isn’t that I don’t want to tell you. I—I do. I just need some time.”

 _TIME FOR WHAT_?, his mind screamed. He winced inwardly. Why had he said that? He never wanted to tell Leo, not now, not ever. Why did he get himself in these situations? Leo would have gotten over it if Kun had just shut up; instead he’d now painted himself into another corner. What was he going to do the next time Leo brought it up?

But Leo wrapped his arms around Kun’s neck, burying his nose in his shoulder. Kun instinctively hugged him back, wincing at his burgeoning erection. He hoped to God Leo wasn’t feeling that.

And, really, who cared if he’d gotten himself into another shitty situation?

Because if it meant a shirtless Leo pressed against his naked skin, he was very okay with that.

* * *

Kun concentrated hard on getting Masche alone during training. He noticed that Masche was cleverly avoiding eye contact and casually putting distance between them every time Kun tried to approach him. In fact, Masche was shadowing Leo so well that Kun couldn’t talk to him without Leo overhearing.

Gritting his teeth, he waited for an opportunity. When Masche’s shoelaces came loose and he stopped to tie them, leaving him alone, Kun pounced.

“You are _dead_ ,” he growled.

Masche held up both hands and Kun was pleased to see that there was a slight note of fear in his eyes. He was sure Masche could beat him up with both hands tied behind his back but still. It was nice to be awarded that tiny bit of fear.

“I didn’t tell him about you, man!”

“I know _that_ , but why’d you have to say anything in the first place?” Kun hissed, noticing that Pocho and Rojo were looking over at them.

Masche looked guilty. “I just… lost my temper.”

“What?”

“He was saying something about you having some alone time to think about your ladies. I just… got mad.” Masche was mumbling now. “I just felt it was unfair. I’m sorry.”

Kun felt a wave of affection mixed with irritation. Trust Masche to get angry about the very same thing he’d done to Kun last night. Impulsively, he kissed Masche’s forehead, slinging a hand around his neck. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

When they went back to training, Rojo was making smooching sounds at Pocho, while Pocho pretended to swoon. So Masche had to sit on them both.

* * *

Kun lingered on the field even after training was over. He told the rest of his teammates he’d join them later and continued practising free kicks and dribbles. Sometimes he felt like he existed only when the ball was at his feet. It made him free in a way he couldn’t feel anywhere else—well, except with Leo.

But that was an agony too. This was pure joy. Pure confidence, adrenaline and elation. So Kun stayed playing on for another hour, long after all the assistants had left, waving to Kun one by one.

When his leg muscles started to scream, Kun stopped, breathless, pouring sweat and feeling like he’d just won a marathon. He trooped back to the locker rooms, tired and happy, a ball under his arm, and was astonished to see Leo waiting.

He had changed and showered and was sitting on the long bench looking through his phone. “Hey,” he said, smiling.

“Fuck off,” Kun said. They had played on opposing teams during training and Leo had scored six goals. _Six_. And done a magnificent dribble that had left Masche on his ass and Otamendi sprawled, both looking awed.

Although Masche deserved every bit of it.

Leo grinned. “You scored 3. That isn’t bad.”

“Don’t patronize me, Mr. Barcelona.” He peeked at Leo to see if this offended him, but Leo was all dimples.

“We’ll play some FIFA later. Give you a chance to redeem yourself.” The cheekiness of it made Kun smile. He loved seeing Leo like this.

“Nah, I wouldn’t want to embarrass you. I’ve gotten really good.” He stripped his jersey off, trying to ignore the blush that always came when he changed around Leo.

It always felt sexual, somehow.

Leo snorted. He was back on his phone now, looking at pictures of Thiago.

“Show me.”

Leo smiled. He loved talking about Thiago. And Kun loved hearing him talk about Thiago. His eyes aways becames soft and excited, he spoke eagerly and quickly—it was clear that Thiago was his everything.

“Take a shower first. You stink.”

“Wanna join me? You can see how good I _really_ look. I’m fitter everywhere.”

He ducked the shoe Leo tossed at his head and went into the showers, laughing.

* * *

That night, the team sat down to dinner together. It was a tradition they had started during the last summer at the World Cup. It seemed to work. Not only did it make them feel less lonely and isolated from their families, but somehow their friendship off the pitch bound them all so much closer on it, improving their play and knitting their passes even more fluidly.

Kun couldn’t get a seat near Leo, but he managed to sit diagonally opposite. Leo was flanked by both Pocho and Angel. Kun wondered irritably if they even _knew_ who Leo’s best friend was.

Well, to be fair, Angel was a nice guy. He had a wife and a little girl. He was a good guy. It was _Pocho_ he didn’t trust.

What on earth did he have to keep whispering about to Leo anyway? Why was everything an inside joke? And why did Leo laugh _so much_?

Kun stabbed viciously at his piece of lettuce, glaring at it. _Stupid_ diet. He wished he had some steak. There was no fun in stabbing wilted lettuce.

He sighed. He was sitting in between Biglia and Garay and they were both talking to each other as if he wasn’t even there.

He looked over at Masche. He was surprisingly tipsy, having drunk glass after glass of red wine. Kun grinned. He loved a drunk Masche. Especially when he so rarely drank.

Leaning across the table, he shouted, “OY, MASCHE!”

“Aaaaay!” Masche yelled back, pumping his fists.

Kun pumped his fists back. “What’s going on?”

Masche jabbed his finger at Kun very hard. “You. You tell me.”

“I’m just sitting here, talking to you, Masche. Life’s good.”

“Life IS good, Kun! You remember that!”

Kun grinned. “I will, Masche. How’re _you_ doing?”

Masche nodded, waggling his finger for emphasis as he chewed on a piece of chicken. “I’ve learned a lot in my life, Kun. I could teach you a lot.”

Kun forced himself not to laugh. “Give me a lesson now. I’m ready.”

“You must LEARN to be happy!” Masche roared, fist coming down hard on the table.

Kun looked uneasily around, maintaining his smile. Luckily Pocho had started wrestling with Higuain, who was sitting on his other side, so everyone at the table were busily occupied, cheering on the fight, wild bouts of laughter and bangs on the table ringing out throughout the restaurant.

Kun turned back to Masche. “Yes, Javi.”

Masche looked suddenly sober. “I’m proud of you, Kun!” He leaned across the table. “You’re fine?”

Kun nodded. “I’m great!”

“Listen, don’t worry about—” Masche mouthed _Leo_ , and then jerked his head towards him.

Panicked, Kun looked around the table and was relieved to see no one was watching. They were all still busy with the play wrestling. Food was being tossed all over the table now and the waiters were looking agitated.

Kun smiled until he looked directly opposite at Leo. And that’s when his heart stopped.

Leo was looking _right at Masche_.

And then, very slowly, Leo turned his head and looked at Kun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, please let me know what you think! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello! That was quick of me. I'm pleased with myself. This chapter is a bit more introspective - we get more of Kun's thought process rather than action. So I hope you guys aren't too bored!
> 
> Please enjoy!

Kun didn’t remember much of the rest of the dinner. He smiled, laughed, joked, swore, and shouted with the rest of them, looking everywhere except at the person sitting in front of him—who seemed equally determined not to meet his eyes. But there was a frantic quality about his antics that lent an almost pathetic air to it.

Nobody else noticed, of course.

Nobody, of course, except, perhaps, Lionel Messi. But Leo _knew_. This time, there was a certainty about it—Kun simply knew that Masche had given it away—all while trying to cheer Kun up. Wasn’t that a joke?

He wanted to run away from the table, away from the hotel, fly home immediately. But that wasn’t an option and he held his chin up high, determined to see this through.

It was, surprisingly, Leo who excused himself first. He smiled at everyone, ruffled Higuain’s hair and laughed at a few jokes. But he never looked at Kun.

Kun busied himself with his phone. Nobody else seemed to notice the two ignoring each other pointedly and he thanked God for small favours.

He sat at the table long after his meal was over, more subdued now that Leo had left. He still managed to grin and add a few witty comments to the general conversation, but his mind was racing. What would happen when he went back to his hotel room?

Would Leo confront him? Would he ignore it?

Kun didn’t know which was worse.

Masche had excused himself to bed a long time ago, but Kun didn’t feel any anger towards him. Masche had only been trying to help—and he wasn’t foolish enough to blame him. But that didn’t change the fact that it had happened and he had to face it.

Kun lingered at the dinner table as much as he could, coaxing Pocho and Higuain to stay long after they both wanted to leave. He put on his most entertaining face, hoping that it’d convince them. It worked for a while, but after 2 a.m., Higuain firmly said no, standing and leaving. Pocho jumped at the opportunity and retired too, leaving Kun no option but to go back to his room.

They were both staying one floor below Kun so once they left the elevator, he felt his heart pounding so hard that he worried he’d faint. His palms were sweating and his stomach was roiling so bad, he wondered if he’d throw up.

Standing outside their room, Kun leaned his head against the door. _Please, God_ , he prayed. He didn’t know what he was actually praying for. A reprieve? Mercy? Amnesia?

Taking a deep shuddering breath, he stuck his room card through the electronic slot and the door clicked open. Knees shaking and heart thumping, he entered the tiny hallway, lights automatically coming on at the opening of the door. He could see that the room ahead was in darkness.

He closed the door quietly behind him and turned the light off. For a second he stood in the darkness, listening.

He couldn’t see anything now and he fumbled slowly to his bed. The curtains were heavy and they blocked any bit of light. The darkness felt oppressive; he was aware of a sense of suffocation.

He sat down quietly, keenly aware that Leo was lying down in the next bed. For a moment, he stayed absolutely still, listening to Leo’s breathing.

It was regular, deep, rhythmic.

Relief swamped Kun. He carefully shed his shoes, placing them as quietly as he could on the floor. He crawled slowly under the sheets, hoping that the rustling wouldn’t wake Leo. His movements were noisy enough that he couldn’t hear Leo’s breathing anymore and he settled in the bed, hoping Leo was still asleep.

And that was when he realized that the rhythm had changed.

The breaths were shallow now and quicker, irregular.

He’d woken Leo up!

His heart began to pound again, so loud that he wondered insensibly if Leo could hear it. His eyes were wide in the dark. He could see the general shape of things now, but he dared not turn his head to look at Leo—because what if Leo was facing him?

Kun waited with bated breath for so long that he began to see spots in his vision. He hauled in a breath as noiselessly as he could, but it still sounded harsh and loud in the silence. He wondered if he should say something, but fear kept him frozen.

After what seemed like an eternity, Leo’s breaths deepened again.

Kun stayed awake for a long time, eyes wide open, a hand on his heart.

* * *

The next day, Kun woke to see Leo’s bed empty. He sat up instantly and craned his head to look at the door where Leo kept his training shoes. They weren’t there.

Leo had left without him?

It had never ever happened before. Even when they’d had bitter, vicious arguments, they’d still waited for each other. They’d trooped to the training ground together in angry silence. Leo had never ever let him go to training alone.

It was a small matter, but it felt like the worst thing he’d ever gone through. Hysteria bubbled up in his chest. Had he lost Leo? Had he frightened him away? The dread was so strong, he rushed to the bathroom and dry heaved over the toilet.

He sat on the floor for a long minute, head leaning on his knees.

He made up his mind then and there that he’d speak to Leo. He’d talk to him. He’d tell him it didn’t matter, that he didn’t want anything.

He just needed Leo in his life. That was all.

* * *

He made his way down to the training ground in record time. Leo was already out there, practicing headers. He avoided eye contact, but Kun was having none of that and he marched over.

“Leo—”

“No.”

Kun stopped short. They stared at each other. He opened his mouth again, but Leo cut him off.

“Come, practice with me.” His eyes were a warning.

Kun swallowed. “Please, Leo, just listen—”

“I’m sorry,” Leo said quietly, interrupting. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you today. I was nervous about the match.”

Kun understood. Leo didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t know why this made him so upset. It was clear that Leo wasn’t letting him go, but it was the first time they’d had a misunderstanding that they hadn’t sorted out right away.

Even if Leo was pretending everything was the same, it was clear to Kun that everything had changed.

But he’d rather have Leo in some way than not at all. And so Kun nodded. He lunged for the ball at Messi’s feet, forcing a laugh and saying cheekily, “Try to get it, old man!”

Leo hesitated only a second, then immediately darted after Kun, trying to steal the ball away. Kun nutmegged him and dribbled away, leaving Leo behind, smiling slightly.

* * *

Over the next couple of days, they achieved a truce of sorts. They went to training together, joked around, talked as much as they used to—but it was different.

There was a certain tension in the air that didn’t dissipate no matter how many jokes Kun cracked. And though Leo laughed and smiled, he didn’t tease Kun anymore. Often he seemed lost in thought, his brows knitted together.

Kun had also stopped touching Leo. For some reason, it felt awkward to and so he went out of his way to make sure it never happened. No longer did he sling his arm around Leo’s shoulders companionably, or punch him lightly in the arm for a joke, or hug Leo during a goal in training.

Leo had never been the one to initiate physical contact, anyway, so the more they didn’t touch each other, the weirder it became. Kun high-fived Leo during a goal celebration in training and it was so awkward that he couldn’t look at Leo afterwards.

He felt frustrated. He wanted to get through this, but he didn’t know if it was something that should be forced or just left aside to heal on its own. It made him muddled and he played badly during training, finally forcing Tata to give him a stern talking-to.

He had also started changing in the bathroom rather than openly as they had done for so many years. He knew that it was a mistake, but he felt so exposed and vulnerable that he couldn’t face Leo with his shirt off.

Leo, on the other hand, seemed determined to prove that he was fine with everything. He had always been more modest than Kun, but now he changed his shirt defiantly in front of Kun, looking him in the eye.

It made the situation even worse and Kun felt he was in a terrible comedy where everyone was in on the joke except him. He often turned around and stared at the window as if nothing was happening, the rustling sounds behind making him even more nervous as Leo shed clothing.

Fortunately, nobody seemed aware of the new undertones in their friendship. Kun noticed, though, that Leo was colder to Pocho. That when Pocho did try to hug Leo or touch him, Leo’s eyes would go straight to Kun and he’d shrug out of Pocho’s grasp.

Kun didn’t know how to feel about that.

He tried his best not to look at Leo anymore because Leo seemed to look back a lot more often now. Kun had been caught staring so many times that he felt it was simply too pathetic not to rein himself in. He wondered if he could get horse blinders.

There were times he caught Leo looking too. He always looked away immediately, though. Once when Kun missed a penalty during practice, he raised the edge of his jersey and caught it between his teeth in frustration. Looking up, he saw Leo watching him, eyes thoughtful.

When Leo saw him, though, he looked away quickly and Kun swore he saw a spot of red on Leo’s otherwise pale cheeks.

He didn’t know how he felt about that either.

They played FIFA more often together, but there was something different here too. They were more polite with each other, restrained. Now even when Kun teased Leo, he could see a wall up—something he’d never known to exist between them.

But one thing reassured Kun more than ever. Leo never seemed to want to leave his side now. He made sure he sat next to Kun at every meal, accompanied him everywhere. He eschewed hanging out with anyone unless Kun was there too.

It meant that Kun was more confused than ever. He knew Leo didn’t have _those_ kinds of feelings for him, but he didn’t know what Leo was trying to do. It was almost as if Leo was trying to make sure they stayed friends, like he was trying to forcibly get through the awkward stage without ever having to talk about it.

And that was perfectly fine with Kun. He wanted things back to how they were and he was terrified that it wouldn’t happen.

If it meant going through this, he would.

* * *

Kun made sure he didn’t sit next to Leo on the bed, choosing instead to sit next to Pocho. They’d all been invited to Pocho’s room to watch an old Argentine black-and-white movie, a romantic affair that they’d all seen a hundred times.

Kun deliberately didn’t look to see where Leo was sitting, knowing that his eyes would keep darting in that direction if he did. He was stuffed in between Pocho and Masche. Pocho kept pushing his hip into Kun’s and Kun kept shoving him back. Masche intervened with a timely slap to the backs of both their heads every now and then.

They finally quietened as the movie started and bowls of popcorn began to circulate. Kun munched contentedly, relieved at not having to worry about things like whether his elbow was touching Leo’s as he sat. He grinned at the thought, wondering what people would think if they knew that the great Kun Aguero was in this kind of situation.

Pocho leaned close and whispered, “Who’s the girl?”

Kun elbowed him. “Fuck off.”

Pocho grinned and threw an arm around his shoulders. “Oh come on,” he whispered. “We can share.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Kun couldn’t help it. He laughed. Masche shushed them, clearly annoyed, and Pocho blew him a kiss over Kun’s head, arm still around him.

Pocho bent to whisper something else in his ear and as Kun leaned towards him to hear better, his eyes met Leo’s across the room.

This time, Leo didn’t look away. He held Kun’s gaze steadily.

Kun’s heart started to pound. He stared back at Leo, unable to look away. Leo kept looking at him, eyes dark and serious. Finally, he broke the glance, looking down towards the bowl of popcorn in his lap.

Kun looked back at the TV, forcing a laugh for whatever comment Pocho had made. His heart was still beating uncomfortably fast.

He didn’t dare look at Leo for the rest of the night.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had fun reading this. And, again, I hope this takes your mind off the Copa. Writing this is really the only that has made me smile in the last day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is by far my favourite chapter! I really enjoyed writing this and it's a little more light-hearted. I hope you guys enjoy. ;)

They went back to their rooms in silence, stunned by the match. Kun felt intensely frustrated that they’d let a two-goal lead slip through their fingers. Why was it always so much harder with Argentina? He vowed to practice harder tomorrow, to never let this happen again.

He sent a sidelong glance at Leo, sprawled on his own bed. Leo was his usual sulking self—he was a terrible sore loser—and, normally, Kun would have done everything to cheer him up. But he felt a certain reluctance about doing so now—he was probably overthinking things, but maybe it was better if he gave Leo some space.

That thought only lasted a few seconds. Looking at Leo’s expression, Kun sighed and said, “Leo, stop. You were amazing. You always are. It was just a one-off.”

Leo turned his head to look at him, but said nothing.

“Why do you always blame yourself? It’s a _team_ sport.”

“Because I can do better, Kun! You know that.”

It wasn’t Leo bragging, just stating a fact. He had done wondrous things before. He could set matches alive with a few brilliant moves. But it hadn’t been enough to win tonight.

“Whether you score 0 goals or 800, I’ll still think you’re amazing,” Kun said earnestly.

“Oh, Kun, stop!” Leo snapped suddenly, rolling his eyes.

“It’s true—”

“Oh, of course, _you_ would say that.” Leo had sat up now, his mouth snarling and eyes snapping. He looked like he was ready for a fight.

Kun stopped short. “What does that mean?”

“Just that—” Leo gestured, looking for words. “Well, you aren’t exactly _unbiased_ , are you?”

It was as if he had been slapped. Blood rushed into Kun’s face and his fists clenched. “What the _fuck_ do you mean?” he hissed, punching each word out.

Leo looked stonily—almost defiantly—back. “You know what I mean,” he said in a low voice.

“You think because I—” Kun waved his hand between their bodies, unable to use the word _love_ in this context, to admit that he loved him in this horrible fight, to have that moment destroyed in this ugliness, “You think because I want to _fuck_ you that I’m saying this? What the fuck do you think?” His voice was rising now. “What did you think, Leo? Tell me. That I’ve been trying to get into your pants all this time?”

Leo said nothing, but his guilty expression said it all. Kun felt it like a blow. He’d never ever thought that his secret would make Leo question their friendship; he’d never thought that the consequences would be so far-reaching and so bitter.

He’d never thought Leo would doubt what was—barring his son—the purest relationship he had in his life.

He felt a wave of grief hit him so hard, he would have collapsed if he wasn’t already sitting. Anger came hot on its heels, so scorching he felt as if his head would explode.

“Get out,” he hissed.

Leo’s eyes rounded in shock. “W-what?”

“You heard me. Get. Out.” Kun’s hands were shaking, but his voice was clear and a small part of his brain was proud of it.

Leo seemed frozen. “Kun, calm down. I have nowhere to go,” he said in a low voice.

“Go, or I will.”

For a long second, they stared at each other. Leo’s eyes were searching and finally he dropped his head and stood. He put his shoes on in silence.

Kun looked away, breathing harshly in the silence. His heart was pounding so hard it actually hurt. Without knowing it, he placed his hand on his chest as if to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry,” Leo whispered.

Kun looked at him and saw Leo still standing, his eyes fixed on Kun’s hand. There was raw emotion on Leo’s face now and it made Kun ache. He’d never not comforted Leo before. He’d never been the one to inflict pain on Leo. And now here he was throwing him out.

Emotion choked his throat. “Why would you say that?” he said passionately, his voice low and pained. “Even if I didn’t… Even if I was just your friend, even if I never wanted anything more, I could never be unbiased about you.”

“I know—”

“How could you _doubt_ me, Leo?” His voice was rising again and he took a deep shuddering breath to calm himself down.

Leo sank to his knees directly in front of Kun. His eyes were so full of regret that Kun looked away, unable to meet his gaze. Leo hesitated, then placed his hand over Kun’s. Right over his pounding chest. “I’m sorry. Please.”

His touch calmed Kun right away. It was as if he was physically soothing him. But he still didn’t want to look at Leo. He was hovering on the brink of something and he was scared of it. He needed to calm down.

“I didn’t mean it. I-I was angry and I lashed out.”

Kun looked at him then, met Leo’s eyes. “Don’t lie to me. You meant it.”

For a long second, Leo was silent. Then his eyes closed briefly. “Yes, I meant it. I’m sorry. This is new to me. I never—”

“How could you, Leo?”

“I—”

“I would _never_ doubt you.”

Leo was quiet at that. He looked stunned and overcome with something Kun couldn’t understand. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m not a good friend.”

Kun pushed him and Leo landed hard on the floor. He looked staggered. “Don’t give me that bullshit. This apology isn’t about you.”

Leo grinned suddenly. “Can I get back up?”

That grin warmed Kun’s heart. He felt the beginnings of amusement blossom in his chest. “Why are you laughing?” he demanded.

Immediately, Leo wiped the smile from his face. “Sorry. Please, may I get back up?” he asked politely.

“Well, get up, already,” Kun grumbled.

Leo got back on his knees and although his expression was serious, there was a suspicious quiver about the corner of his lips. But when he met Kun’s eyes again, he was fully, completely serious. “I’m sorry. I never should have doubted you. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to ever lose you.”

Kun felt something like relief wash over him. “God, you’re cheesy. How does anyone ever put up—”

But Leo was hugging him before he could end the sentence. His arms were hard around Kun’s neck and he was squeezing him so hard it was almost painful. They’d hugged on the pitch during both their goals today, but this felt different.

He hugged Leo back tightly. “Don’t do that again,” he whispered.

“Never,” Leo murmured back.

* * *

The aftermath of their fight was awkward, to say the least. It had been Kun who’d broken the hug off first. That was new in itself. Leo suddenly seemed to become terribly embarrassed at all the things he had said and he hurriedly retired to the bathroom.

Kun immediately fell back on his bed, feeling exhausted both mentally and physically. He placed his forearm over his eyes and breathed deeply. Leo’s words came back to him and a silly grin spread over his face.

He rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. His hands were still underneath his chest and to be a little more comfortable, he bent his knees a bit, his bottom rising slightly off the bed. Sighing, his mind meandered through the match they’d played and he imagined redoing the dribbles he’d flubbed today.

He heard the bathroom door clicking open and then a sudden sharp intake of breath.

Confused, Kun turned to look at Leo.

And saw his eyes trained on Kun’s bottom.

They flashed up to meet Kun’s face immediately, but Leo could do nothing about the blush quickly spreading over his face and down his neck.

Incredulous, Kun watched as Leo immediately bundled himself into his sheets, turning firmly towards the wall.

Had Leo just… _checked him out_?

It couldn’t be.

But Kun couldn’t keep himself from crowing inwardly. He rolled over, grinning, and went to sleep almost immediately, feeling peaceful after a long time.

* * *

The next morning, Leo was in an unusually chipper mood. Kun was surprised but pleased. Usually, Leo required quite a few days after a draw to get back to normal. They walked to breakfast, laughing and teasing. The tension was still there between them, but there was a sense of peace despite it.

At breakfast, everyone seemed determined to be positive. There were jokes, laughter, and, in Masche’s case, a very rousing speech that drew a few cheers.

Kun and Leo were sitting opposite each other. Most of the seats had been filled up by the time they had arrived and Kun didn’t mind so much. At least Leo was sitting in between Tevez and Garay. Kun himself was between Otamendi and Rojo.

The mood was festive and Kun appreciated it. Sometimes the group could be so down after a match that it took real effort for Kun to cheer people up. This was better. And it was far more motivating too! It was rousing in its own way.

And then it all went to hell.

Kun plucked a banana and was just peeling it when his eyes met Rojo’s. Rojo waggled his eyebrows at him. Kun rolled his eyes but a whistle caught his attention. He looked across and saw that Garay too was smirking.

“Fuck you.”

He bit into the banana, looking up and meeting Leo’s eyes. Leo was looking riveted. He must have heard the whistle and realized what was going on.

Kun turned red so abruptly he almost resembled a beet.

For a second, he seriously considered putting down the banana, but now the whole team was looking at him and wolf-whistling. Normally, he’d have put on a show, biting seductively into the banana for the amusement of everyone. He had always been the one clowning around.

But Leo was watching.

And Leo knew whose banana he _really_ wanted to have in his mouth.

It was excruciating.

Why was Leo watching?!

Kun peeked up, unable to stop himself. And saw that Leo had not taken his eyes away. His gaze was on Kun’s mouth, seemingly fascinated.

Kun had always had some pretty wild fantasies about Leo. There was the one where they fucked in a stadium after winning the World Cup, with the whole crowd cheering them on. That one was still one of his favourites.

But he’d never, _not once_ , pictured Leo watching him eat a banana.

He wondered what the least sexual way was to eat a banana. He nibbled gently at the tip, but a chorus of _oohs_ erupted from every Argentine mouth at the table. Kun wondered if a person’s head could explode from having _too much_ blood in it.

He decided that maybe a big bite was better. But, just as he opened his mouth wide to take it, Pocho burst out laughing, sending the rest of the table into hysterics. Only Leo was still watching, his eyes dark and serious.

Kun realized too late that opening his mouth so wide was even worse. He bit into it, keeping his lips as closed as possible. But this made the banana stretch his mouth slowly and it ended up looking even more erotic.

Kun wished he could stab his eyes with the banana. Why was a piece of fruit driving him straight to hell?

The guys were making orgasmic sounds with their mouth, moaning and groaning and generally frightening the wait staff to death. Kun decided he hated them all.

He wished Leo would stop staring. Why on earth wasn’t he looking away?

He turned to Masche, finally, eyes pleading. But Masche was on the phone, steps away from the table, one finger in his ear to block out the noise.

Kun decided to go for it. He took a deep breath, stuffed as much of the banana as he could in his mouth and then raised his middle fingers in two wide half-circles.

After the cries of “Swallow!” piped down and he did just that, he finally dared to look at Leo.

Who was looking very red himself. And staring very hard at his plate.

Kun groaned inwardly. What a way to turn _off_ the only person he’d ever loved.

With a goddamned banana.

Truly, his life was a joke.

* * *

Training went smoothly, although the tension between Leo and Kun was so rife as to be almost palpable. He cursed his luck inwardly. They’d _finally_ gotten past it and here it was again. That stupid fucking yellow piece of junk fruit. He was never eating a banana again.

After practice, as they were walking back to the locker room, Leo suddenly turned to Kun, eyes dancing. He smiled mischievously. “Are you feeling hungry?”

“Mm,” Kun said, groaning and holding his stomach, oblivious. “Starving.”

“Maybe you could have another banana.”

Kun’s head snapped around and he looked at Leo’s expression, eyes full of laughter. “You-you—”

Leo raised his eyebrows. “What’s the matter? You didn’t like the banana? Do you want a different type?”

What the _fuck_ was going on here?

Kun was speechless. “I don’t like bananas anymore,” he said firmly, glaring at Leo, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.

“That’s not what Masche told me,” Leo said impishly, grinning wickedly.

Kun felt faint.

He cleared his throat. “That is a different—that—Leo!”

Leo laughed. The conversation meant they were dawdling and they were the last to finally reach the locker room. Just as Kun was about to push open the door, Leo reached in and put his hand on the doorknob, stopping him.

Kun turned to find Leo very close. His heart stuttered.

“W-what—”

Leo leaned in closer, then whispered, “I like that you swallowed.”

Laughing, he dodged Kun’s punch and entered the locker room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm an immature human being. Please forgive me? ;)
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this chapter was also kind of fun to write. :) It's all conversation so I hope you guys don't mind that. I'm also trying to take this slow because Leo's really only known about Kun's feelings for 3 days so I don't want to rush things.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

After dinner that night, Kun and Leo decided to wind down with some FIFA. Usually they played either sitting on chairs or sitting on their own beds. But when Kun came back from the bathroom, he saw that Leo had climbed into Kun’s bed.

A very immature part of him—read: penis—found this very interesting, but the rest of him simply shrugged inwardly and sat down next to Leo. The bed was large enough that they had plenty of space to themselves.

They played avidly for some time, crowing and trash-talking each other. The score was 1-1 and there was about twenty minutes left in the match. And that was when Kun suddenly felt a toe nudging his under the covers.

Confused and slightly distracted, he peeked at his own feet. He realised Leo’s foot had migrated all the way over to his and seemed to be gently stroking his foot.

Kun swallowed, his entire mind going blank. What. The. _Fuck._

He surreptitiously moved his foot away, just a centimeter or so. Enough to relieve his brain without actually offending Leo.

He concentrated hard on the game. 15 minutes left.

He was just about to dribble past one of Leo’s defenders when, again, he felt that slow stroking of his foot. Distracted, he pressed the wrong button and ended up shooting wide. He glanced at Leo, but Leo was frowning in concentration, staring hard at the TV.

Kun again nudged his foot away gently. 10 minutes left! He had to make this count.

This time, it was only a matter of seconds before he felt Leo nudging his foot again. Badly rattled, he let Leo slip past him and score. The game ended a minute later with Leo the winner.

Kun turned to Leo and saw a suspiciously impassive expression on his face. He narrowed his eyes. “Leo.”

Leo turned to him, eyes so innocent that Kun knew.

“You asshole!” he roared, pushing Leo firmly down into the mattress.

Leo was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe or even defend himself. He had raised an arm in protection, but it was ineffectual in the face of his amusement.

“What kind of shitty friend are you?” Kun shouted, taking his pillow and smothering Leo gently with it. Leo was still shaking with laughter and doing nothing to protect himself.

Kun threw the pillow away. And pushed Leo smoothly off his bed. Leo rolled willingly onto the floor, landing lightly and still laughing. Kun waited, disgruntled, for Leo to recover.

He finally did, holding his stomach and smiling broadly up at Kun from the floor. “What?” he said, chuckling.

“You know you’re the world’s most horrible friend,” Kun told him matter-of-factly. “You are despicable and you don’t deserve me.”

Leo grinned. “I agree. Forgive me.”

“No.”

“Please. Tell me how I can make it up to you.”

Kun felt his heart squeeze. They both knew he was only pretending to be angry. He didn’t know what to make of this side of Leo. They had always teased each other, but Leo was teasing him about his feelings. For _Leo_. Wasn’t that flirting?

Kun didn’t know and he didn’t dare wonder about it too long. He didn’t want to ruin this moment between them. And, besides, Leo was looking so adorable, lying down on the carpet and dimpling up at Kun, hair flopping across his forehead—Kun just wanted to soak it in.

“You have to tell me 10 things about me that make me awesome.”

Leo grinned and sat up. He crawled onto the bed and sat at the foot of it, leaning his back against the footboard. “Pass me a pillow.”

Kun did and Leo stuffed it behind his back, stretching his legs out in front of him. Kun did the same, and their legs lay next to each other, not touching.

“I’ll tell you _one_ nice thing about you,” Leo said.

“8.”

“3.”

“5.”

“Deal,” Leo said, putting a hand on Kun’s calf and shaking it as if it were a hand.

“Go ahead then.”

Leo leaned his head back, pretending to think. His hand was still on Kun’s calf, not brushing or moving, just laying there. Kun felt his calf burn hot and hoped to God he wouldn’t get a stiffy.

“The more time you take, the longer the list has to be,” Kun warned.

Leo laughed. He looked more relaxed today than he’d looked in a long while with Kun. His hand moved down Kun’s calf and gently held his big toe, smiling. “You’re very funny.”

“Damn, right,” Kun retorted. But he had butterflies in his stomach and his mouth was dry.

Leo’s fingers moved to Kun’s second toe. “You’re the best footballer.”

“That’s a damn lie,” Kun said absently. He was starting to lose his concentration on this list now, focusing more on Leo’s touch. “You know you’re the best.”

Leo shushed him. He moved to the third toe, his fingers slow and unhurried. “You’re the greatest friend ever.”

“That’s better,” Kun said, his voice slightly hoarse. He didn’t dare clear his throat for fear of embarrassing himself.

Leo’s voice was dropping now. He held Kun’s fourth toe, his thumb pressing on the pad of it, stroking gently up and down. “You’ve got such a beautiful son.”

Kun simply nodded, unable to say anything more. His whole foot was tingling. He could feel Leo’s touch everywhere, especially in his crotch. He thanked God that the sheets were folded in such a way over his lap as to hide his erection.

Leo moved his hand very slowly to Kun’s little toe. He gently stroked it for a little while, looking at it. Then he raised his head, looking Kun full in the face, and whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”

Kun felt his stomach flip over. For a long second, he was utterly silent, held by Leo’s expression, intense and passionate. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do.

It was Leo who broke the tension. He grinned and squeezed Kun’s foot before dropping his hand into his own lap. “Am I forgiven?” he asked cheekily.

It took a giant effort for Kun to smile. “Well, all right. But only because you said I’m hot, which I am.”

Leo flashed a smile. Then he sobered a little and said, “Can I—can I ask you something?”

Kun nodded. He still didn’t trust his voice.

“Have you ever—um…” Leo blushed. “Have you ever been with another man?”

Kun felt himself going red too. “Yes.”

Leo looked surprised. “What, really? Who?”

Kun shifted uncomfortably. “Leo—”

“Oh, God, it’s Pocho, isn’t it?” Leo’s eyes were wide.

“No! Oh, God, no,” Kun exclaimed. “I would never—” He shook his head and gestured, unable to say that he wouldn’t ever sleep with one of Leo’s teammates. Simply because he’d always had that tiny hope that one day Leo would love him back and he’d never wanted to make things awkward for Leo.

But he couldn’t very well say that to Leo, could he?

Leo looked relieved. “Sorry. It’s just—that day, on the bed—”

Kun frowned, then remembered that he was referring to the night they’d all been watching the movie in Pocho’s room. “Oh! No, no. We’re just friends,” he said hastily.

“So who then?”

Kun laughed nervously, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t want to say.”

“One of your City teammates?” Leo asked shrewdly. His eyes widened. “Or is it more than just one guy?”

Kun hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. To both.”

For a second, they were both silent, playing with the sheets, then Leo asked, “Were you—were you… um… Giving or receiving?”

Kun laughed outright at that. Suddenly he realized how ill-informed Leo actually was about all these matters and somehow this set him at ease. “Receiving,” he said, eyes twinkling. “We call it bottom, though. And the person who _gives_ is top.”

“Oh,” Leo said, blushing. “But isn’t it… painful?”

“Well, yeah, the first time is. But I mean if you go through the right preparations, it’s fine.”

Leo looked baffled. “Preparations?”

Kun grinned. He straightened two fingers and scissored them in the air. Leo turned so red, Kun wanted to kiss him. “Oh!” Leo hands were squirming over the sheets, picking absently at a loose thread. “But isn’t there… stuff in there?”

Kun tried hard not to laugh again. It wasn’t Leo’s fault he didn’t know. “No. If the person’s just gone to the bathroom and cleaned up, there’s nothing remaining in there. It only fills up when you have to go.”

 _Oh_ seemed to be all Leo could say. He was silent again, pondering this. “But isn’t it unfair? The top gets all the pleasure and the bottom just gets…” Leo’s brows were knit hard.

Kun shook his head. “It feels really good if he’s hitting the right spot and, you know, stimulating… other areas.”

Leo’s eyes were wide now. “Stimulating what?”

“The cock, Leo.”

Leo looked very relieved. “I thought—well, never mind.” He waved a hand. “But what spot are you talking about?”

“The prostate. It’s very sensitive.”

Leo looked like a young child learning that the earth was round, not flat. His eyes were wide. Kun shifted uncomfortably, wishing desperately he could do something about his aching cock.

“So… you like it?” Leo asked shyly.

Kun swallowed. He’d thought of Leo saying those words to him about this very same subject—albeit in more intimate circumstances—so it was difficult to restrain himself from getting even harder. “Yes,” he said hoarsely. “It’s amazing.”

“Have you also… sucked someone?” Leo looked a little horrified at himself and said, “I’m sorry! You don’t have to answer that.”

“No,” Kun said, trying very hard not think like a horny teenager. “It’s okay. Yes, I have. That one goes both ways, usually.”

“The top can also…?”

Kun nodded. “It depends on each relationship, but yeah. Sometimes, there are people who like to switch between the top and bottom too.”

“Do you?”

Kun’s cheeks were very red. He shook his head. “I like being the bottom.”

Leo seemed to get even more embarrassed by that even though he’d asked the question. “So has someone… sucked you?”

Kun wondered what his friend would think if he told him about how he’d jacked off to Leo just a few days ago, picturing sucking Leo’s hard, leaking cock. Probably run right out the door.

“Yes,” Kun said shortly, unable to elaborate further.

“Did you like it?”

For a second, Kun wondered if Leo was making fun of him. What kind of question was that? Obviously he would! Why wouldn’t he? But he saw that Leo was serious, curious. So he simply nodded.

He was so hard now it was difficult to concentrate. He wished he could excuse himself to the bathroom and relieve some of this right away, but something told him to stay.

Leo was quiet, plucking at his shirt. “Does the size matter?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if a person was big… Would that hurt you?” Leo was blushing and talking so softly Kun could hardly hear him.

Kun felt his heart starting to pound. Surely Leo wasn’t talking about…?

“If he was gentle and went slow and prepared me the right way with lube, I’d be fine,” Kun said, his voice nothing more than a croak.

Leo nodded at his hands, seemingly unable to look at Kun anymore. “Does it make it better?” He peeked up at Kun.

Kun felt blood rushing through his head. He nodded. “It makes it better for him.”

“How?”

“Because it’s tighter.”

“And for you?”

“It wouldn’t make much of a difference for me. But if he was enjoying it more, I would too.”

Kun didn’t know why he felt as if this conversation was like sex itself. It was the most erotic, sexual moment he’d ever had with Leo. And they weren’t even touching!

He shook his head inwardly. He’d probably die if Leo ever kissed him. Probably keel right over and stop breathing.

Maybe it was a good thing Leo wasn’t into him.

“But if a person wasn’t comfortable with… penetration—if they only wanted to do other things, would that still count as sex?”

Kun’s throat was dry as dust. “It depends on every relationship. But for me, I would only do what was comfortable for him. And it would count as sex for me.”

Leo met his eyes. Kun felt his cock lurching hotly in his pants. He wanted Leo so much at that moment he could almost taste Leo’s kiss. His eyes were glued to Leo’s mouth. He forced himself to look down and take a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“Thanks,” Leo said shyly.

Kun forced a smile. “Any time. Why the curiosity?”

Leo looked down for a long time. “I want to know. About you.” They looked at each other. “Is that okay?” he asked softly.

“It’s completely okay.”

Leo smiled. He glanced quickly at his watch. “Hey it’s 10! We should get to bed.”

Kun nodded. He grabbed a bottle of water from the night stand and drank thirstily. Leo got off Kun’s bed and went and sat on his own, pulling his shirt off.

Kun carefully stared at the window, determined not to get himself even more turned on. When Leo had climbed under the sheets, he looked over and smiled. Leo was on his side, facing Kun. He smiled back.

“Go to bed.”

“Yeah. I’ll just go brush my teeth.”

“Good night.” Leo was smirking. He knew why Kun was going to the bathroom, but Kun didn’t really care right now.

He needed that cold shower _now_.

And when he finally stripped of his clothes, letting the freezing water touch his skin, he thought of Leo touching his toes. Smiling, he pressed his fingers to his burning cheeks.

Maybe that banana had been a good idea after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! This was a long one. It's kind of an angsty one. But I think it's important for the rest of the fic. :) Hope you enjoy!

 

Kun glanced around the breakfast table. Everyone was staring moodily at their own plates, most likely thinking of the match tomorrow. He’d had butterflies himself since he woke up. He’d stared at the ceiling and sent a quick prayer up to the heavens that they’d do well tomorrow.

Leo had woken up much later. He’d been quiet and a little drawn. He looked tired, Kun thought. Probably from playing so many matches. Kun felt anxiety twist his insides; he gave so much to Argentina and, surely, they would get their reward this time?

He looked at Leo now, drinking mate. He’d recently come to love it and it seemed to make him feel better. There was colour in his cheeks and Kun felt a little relieved.

They walked to training together, both silent, lost in their thoughts. They warmed up next to each other, stretching their legs out. Leo smiled at him briefly as their eyes met and Kun just winked back.

He wasn’t going to think of what was going on between them today. It wasn’t a conscious decision, just plain professionalism. His career was more important than their flirting yesterday— _was_ it flirting?—and he needed to focus. Leo similarly seemed to be concentrating hard—he played beautifully, magnificently, and once or twice, Kun watched him, smiling, marveling.

* * *

That night, after dinner, Leo was very quiet, lying down on his bed with his hands under his head. Kun debated asking if he was okay, but he needed to take a shower. He spent a long time with the water sluicing over his body, trying hard to motivate and calm himself. When he was done, he rubbed his hair dry and came out, pulling a T-shirt over his head. And saw Leo still in the same position.

Kun sighed and sat on the edge of Leo’s bed.

“Hi, D10S,” he smiled, patting his arm.

Leo took one hand down from his head and linked his fingers with Kun. He could feel a blush rising, but sternly tried to tamp it down.

They’d always had a very physical relationship—Kun was a very touchy-feely person and things like holding hands had become so common, it wasn’t anything to think about—and, though he’d always enjoyed touching Leo, he’d never really _reacted_ this way. But now that his secret was out—now that he _knew_ Leo was aware of his feelings—everything seemed different.

It made things just a little bit awkward.

Leo wasn’t smiling at Kun, just looking at him, knowing there was a speech to come. His fingers were rubbing Kun’s slowly, the sensation heightened by his unhurried movements, almost as if he was taking comfort in it. Kun took a deep breath.

“How many are you planning to score tomorrow?” he said brightly.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Leo’s lips. “3. You?”

Kun waved his hand dismissively. “Only a hat-trick? I’m going for 6.”

Leo was smiling now. “Double mine huh?” His thumb was stroking the side of Kun’s hand now, moving slowly back and forth.

“Mm,” Kun said, nodding. “I want the world to finally know I’m better.”

Leo became serious at that. “You are.”

Kun rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah, that’s why I was the one who won four Ballon D’ors right?”

Leo shook his head. “You’re better in all the ways that matter. You’re a much better person.” He moved their clasped hands towards Kun’s chest and tapped it there. “You’re better here.”

Kun smiled. “You’re crazy. You’re the best everything to me.”

Leo shook his head, dimpling a little. He tugged Kun’s hand towards him. “Come here,” he whispered.

Kun felt his heart beating very fast. He leaned forward towards Leo until he could see Leo’s eyelashes, thick and soft and fringing his dark eyes. Leo let go of Kun’s hand and slipped his palms up the side of Kun’s chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Kun felt his head swimming a little. The circumstances, their position, the bed—it was all so _intimate_. Kun could hear Leo’s breaths puffing on his ear, almost like sighs. He pressed his face gently into Leo’s pillow, letting Leo pull him down completely, their chests pressing against each other.

It was an uncomfortable position, to say the least, so after a few seconds, Kun reluctantly pulled away. Leo tightened his grasp. “Why?” he asked when Kun extricated himself gently.

Kun gestured towards his cramped position, sitting sideways on the bed, legs folded awkwardly on the ground. Leo immediately scooted towards the wall, tugging on Kun’s hand. “Come lie down then.”

Kun shook his head, ignoring the screaming voice in his head, pleading with him to say yes. “I can’t, Leo.”

“Please,” Leo said, his hand on Kun’s shirt, pulling gently. “Please, Kun.”

“Leo, I’m—” He shook his head. How could he say that he was already hard and he didn’t want Leo to feel it?

Leo seemed to understand anyway. He glanced down at Kun’s crotch. “It’s okay,” he said, cheeks reddening a little. “I don’t mind. Unless it’s a problem for you?”

 _Of course_ it was a problem for him. Why would he want to get into bed and spoon with a guy who he wanted to fuck? Kun sighed. Because he loved Leo more than he wanted to fuck him. Because Leo was his best friend first and his love second.

Kun slipped his shoes off. Leo immediately shifted inside, moving closer to the wall. His hand was still on Kun’s shirt, fisting it tightly. Kun lied down next to Leo, maintaining a small amount of distance .

Leo’s hand was on his forearm now. “Why are you lying on the covers? Get in.”

Kun’s head snapped towards Leo. “Are you _kidding_?”

Leo laughed sheepishly at this. “I’m sorry. Please, Kun.” He squeezed his forearm gently.

Kun looked at the ceiling. What the _fuck_ was his life nowadays? Why was God giving him this much but not giving him everything?

Grimly, he cast up a prayer. _I’d better win tomorrow for this bullshit_.

He sighed, raising himself up on an elbow. Leo willingly lifted the cover and Kun slowly wriggled inside. Leo immediately shifted closer. They both lay on their backs, fingers touching. Their bodies were just lightly brushing against each other. Kun could feel Leo’s warmth through his clothes.

Kun closed his eyes, trying desperately to think of something unsexy. He decided Tata was a good fit. He forced himself to think of Tata naked in a hot tub. It worked a little.

It was also highly disturbing.

His eyes snapped open. He turned his head to Leo. Leo was already looking at Kun, almost like he was waiting. “I feel better when you’re here,” Leo said quietly.

Kun didn’t know what to say so he opted for a joke. “Everyone does. I’m the life of the party.”

Leo grinned at that. “You’re such a cocky moron.”

“Well, you’re the one who wanted a cocky moron in bed with you.”

Leo shifted even closer. He plucked at Kun’s hand until he lifted it above his head. Leo closed the gap so that his body was lying flush against Kun’s. They were quiet for a little while.

Kun felt like this was half-nightmare, half-fantasy. This was exactly what he wanted, except it ended with Leo’s lips over his, with Leo’s cock in him, with Leo’s hand pumping him until he came, moaning into Leo’s mouth as they kissed and kissed and kissed.

He closed his eyes, trying to banish the thought from his head. He was achingly hard now and when he looked down, he could see it tenting the sheet. Embarrassed, he glanced at Leo and saw that Leo had looked too.

Kun groaned out loud, unable to stop himself. He heard Leo’s soft chuckle. “You owe me for this,” he said furiously to Leo. “You owe me big.”

Leo was smiling. A part of Kun knew that he did make Leo feel better—he always had. Leo relied on him emotionally; Kun was his champion and his best friend. So he wasn’t really angry. He appreciated that Leo didn’t care that Kun wanted him _in that way_ —that Leo still wanted Kun around despite it.

“Okay. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Kun glanced sideways at him. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” he said, laughing.

“What _ever_ you want.”

Kun looked at him fully. Leo was still smiling. Kun raised his eyebrows, grinning. “Oh, really?”

“Yup.”

“What if I wanted you to run around the room, barking like a dog, on your hands and knees?”

“Done.”

“And if I said you had to howl like a wolf at the moon?”

Leo chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”

“And if I told you to dance the Macarena during dinner tomorrow?”

Leo raised an eyebrow. “You have terrible taste in music, but all right.”

Kun laughed. “Oh, please. We both know you wouldn’t do everything.”

“Try me,” Leo said, smiling.

Kun’s smile dimmed a little, his eyes growing more serious. “Don’t, Leo.”

“I told you—what _ever_ you want.”

They were both staring at each other. Kun felt his breaths coming faster, his heart picking up speed. Suddenly, he felt like Leo was _too_ close. He could see his mouth so clearly it made him ache a little. “I don’t want it like that,” he said in a very low voice.

“How do you want it?”

It was too much. They had a match tomorrow and—this wasn’t the time. Flustered and stressed out, Kun sat up suddenly, extricating his hand from Leo’s.

Leo sat too, putting his hand gently on Kun’s back. Kun flinched and Leo removed it. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t do this, Leo. We have a match tomorrow.”

For a second, there was silence. Kun peeked over his shoulder. Leo nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring that up—it just came up.”

Kun turned towards him. “I’m sorry—”

“No, Kun. You’re right. We’ll talk about this after.” Leo smiled to show him it was okay. He pushed Kun’s shoulder gently. “Go to your own bed.”

Kun felt a huge wave of relief. “If you want me, I can stay,” he offered.

Leo shook his head. “I’m actually feeling better. I know you won’t be comfortable here. Go.”

They smiled at each other. Leo gently leaned forward and brushed his lips against Kun’s cheek. “Go.”

Kun went to his own bed then, cheek tingling and unable to control his smile. Leo switched the light off immediately after that and Kun realized as he drowsed in bed that Leo had cheered him up too.

* * *

The match was brutal and fouls went uncalled, but they _won_. The mood in the locker room was euphoric. Everyone kept hugging everyone else and Masche kept giving speeches.

Kun was on a high. He’d scored the winning goal—and even though he’d hurt his shoulder a little bit—it didn’t matter. He felt completely, wholly happy. He watched Leo, who was laughing and hugging Masche who himself seemed a bit keyed up.

Kun grinned at Pocho who slung his arm around Kun, hugging him. He wondered how to celebrate. He glanced across at Leo and suddenly remembered their talk last night.

His stomach flipped. He turned around, took his things and went to shower. As he stood under the water, he considered what Leo had meant. What did he want to talk about? What did he _mean_ he would do anything Kun asked?

He knew what Kun wanted to ask. Was Leo really okay with that?

But Kun hadn’t ever wanted it to be like that. Maybe it was naïve of him, but he wanted Leo to do it of his own free will, not because he _owed_ Kun.

Not that Kun would ever even ask—because that was just weird. He wished he could, though. He wished he could just ask for one night with Leo. One night and that would be enough.

But it was wrong. Their friendship was more important than Kun’s unrequited love. Kun felt tired suddenly as the hot water beat down on his sore shoulder. He wanted something tonight. Human contact. He wanted _… sex_.

Just plain fucking—no emotions, no love, just fucking.

He considered. It was against the rules and Tata would surely find out if he snuck a girl—or a guy—into his room. He sighed. There was no way except fucking one of his teammates. And he wasn’t going to do that to Leo. Or himself. Not when that could ruin things in the tournament later.

He emerged from the showers, wearing just boxers. He felt a little refreshed, but exhausted. His shoulder was still aching and he just wanted to sleep. He saw that Leo had already showered and dressed, was sitting on the bench and probably waiting for Kun.

He looked up as Kun entered. “Hi, goal-scorer.”

Kun preened a little. “Thank you, thank you, autographs later.”

Leo smiled, but frowned when he saw Kun opening his locker with his left hand. “Is your shoulder still hurting?”

Kun nodded. “It’s just a bit sore. I think it’ll be okay by tomorrow.”

“I could rub it for you.”

Oh, how he’d _longed_ for those words from Leo. He grinned, unable to stop himself. “No way, keep your hands to yourself, mister.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “You’re a pervert.”

Kun waggled his eyebrows. “You like it, baby.”

Leo shook his head, but said nothing. He went back to looking at his phone and called Antonela. She immediately put Thiago on. Kun smiled, looking over his shoulder. He could hear Thiago’s high lisping voice and suddenly missed his own son, Benja.

He had had a slight fever yesterday so was probably already in bed. Kun decided he’d call tomorrow morning.

He struggled a little with his T-shirt, working it slowly over his aching shoulder. Leo made as if to help him, but Kun shook his head. The less touching they did today, the better. Leo sat back down, eyes shrewdly assessing Kun as he kept chatting with his baby.

Kun sprayed himself with his cologne lightly and brushed his wet hair. He glanced at Leo and saw that he was waving goodbye to Thiago. When he ended the call, he looked up at Kun.

“Can’t accept my help, huh?”

Kun grinned. “I don’t need _anyone’s_ help, Mr. Lionel Messi.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Are you ready? Finally?”

Kun tsked. “I think you should be more respectful towards the goalscorer, your savior, your very own genius teammate.”

Leo had started snorting halfway through the sentence. Kun grinned, shut his locker and gestured for Leo to start walking. He followed behind, admiring Leo’s bottom—had there ever been such a magnificent bottom?

He busied himself with thoughts of that beautiful bottom.

And when Pocho later asked him what the fuck he meant with that loopy smile, Kun just laughed.

* * *

_Come to my room. I want to talk to you._

Kun frowned at the text, staring at his phone. He really didn’t want to go, not when Leo was still in the bathroom and in such a good mood. But if Pocho had something important to say—Kun sighed. He rose and tapped the bathroom door.

The water stopped.

“What?” Leo called, his voice muffled.

“Pocho asked me to go to his room. I’ll be back in a while, okay?”

There was silence. Just when Kun was about to repeat the question, Leo said, “What does he want you to go to his room for?” Leo’s voice was a lot louder now, almost as if he was just next to the door.

“He said he wants to talk.” Kun paused, frowning. “Do you want me to say no?”

“No. It’s okay. You go.”

“Okay, bye!”

There was no reply, only the sound of the water again. Kun wondered whether Leo was angry. Maybe he had wanted to talk to Kun about last night? Kun felt his heart speed up a little at the thought—in a way, maybe going to Pocho’s room was a good idea. He certainly didn’t want to have to talk to Leo about… _that_.

He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn’t even realize that he had arrived at Pocho’s door until he was just outside. It was ajar, held open by a shoe. He tapped the door lightly before pushing it open.

Pocho was lying down on his bed, watching the TV. He was shirtless and looked like he had just taken a shower.

“Hey,” he said, smiling.

Kun wandered over, noticing that Angel’s bed was made up neatly. “Where’s he gone?” he said, jerking his head towards the bed.

“Higuain and him are watching some movie.” Pocho patted the bed. Kun sat down next to him, stretching his legs.

“You were good today,” Pocho said, sitting up a little and turning towards Kun.

Kun grinned. He flexed his arms. “I know.”

“Don’t you feel like celebrating?”

Kun sighed a little, his head dropping back on the pillow. “Of course.”

“You know what I want?”

Kun turned his head and was startled to find Pocho very close. He’d somehow moved in as they were talking and now he was only inches away.

“What?” Kun said, though he was starting to feel he already knew the answer.

Pocho smiled and moved in very slowly, giving Kun the time to move away if he wanted to. Kun didn’t. He didn’t know why he let Pocho kiss him, but somehow he wanted it. He wanted a distraction, wanted a celebration. All his reasons not to sleep with a teammate somehow disappeared as Pocho’s mouth touched his.

For a second, Kun didn’t kiss him back, just let himself be kissed. He let Pocho move his mouth gently over Kun’s in soft brushes, and when Pocho slowly let his tongue run over Kun’s lower lip, he parted his lips just a little.

That was enough for Pocho. He cupped the back of Kun’s neck and let his tongue slowly brush the inside of Kun’s lower lip. Kun shuddered, his hands coming up to gently hold Pocho’s sides.

He was returning the pressure just a little now, his tongue coming out to touch Pocho’s. But a small voice was starting to speak up in the back of his head. A small voice saying _Leo_.

Kun tried to ignore it for a little while. Pocho was a good kisser and when his head slanted to one side, going deeper and harder on the kiss, Kun felt a moan escape him. Correction, he was a _great_ kisser.

But the voice was insistent. And just as Kun was about to pull away, Pocho lifted his head, looking towards the door.

“Oh, hey, man!”

Kun was still a little disoriented from the kiss, but he turned to look at the door and felt his heart stop. Leo was standing inside the room, his eyes so cold they were like ice.

“Sorry,” Leo said grimly, “I knocked, but no one replied.”

Kun realized that he hadn’t removed the shoe holding open the door when he’d entered. The door had been ajar all this time. His heart was pounding. How much had Leo seen?

He felt his stomach swoop so hard it made him nauseous. Leo wasn’t looking at him, only at Pocho. _Look at me, Leo. Look at me._

But Leo simply smiled—a very forced one—and said, “I’ll leave you two. Have a good night.”

He kicked the shoe inside the room and closed the door behind him. Frozen, Kun simply sat there as Pocho chuckled. Pocho leaned towards him again and Kun was so shocked, he let Pocho kiss him again for a few seconds.

Then he pulled away. “No, Pocho. I-I can’t do this. I have to go.”

Pocho sighed. He eyed Kun as he scrambled off the bed. Kun stood awkwardly by the bed, feeling guilty. “I’m sorry.”

Pocho shook his head, smiling wryly. “It’s okay. I figured. Go.” He waved towards the door. Kun flashed him a grateful smile and hurried out the door.

He had to make this right with Leo.

* * *

He knew it was bad when he came into their room and Leo was sitting on Kun’s bed, facing the door.

“Leo—” he started, raising his hands.

Leo laughed harshly, standing up. Fury was emanating from every particle in his being. “Who the fuck do you think you are? What the fuck was all that bullshit about doubting you? You made me feel so guilty. And here you are lying to me the whole _fucking_ time.”

“Leo, no, it isn’t like that—”

“Am I blind then? You said you _never_ with-with— _him_ ,” Leo hissed, moving fast towards Kun.

“Please, Leo, listen—” Kun said desperately.

“No!” Leo cut his hand through the air. He was directly in front of Kun now and he was shaking with anger. “You _lied_ to me.”

“Leo, just _listen_ to me,” Kun pleaded.

“Why the fuck should I?” Leo roared, pushing Kun hard. Kun stumbled backwards and Leo turned away, rubbing his hand over his face. “I can’t believe I actually—” He shook his head.

He sat on Kun’s bed, head bowed. Frightened, panicking, Kun quickly sat directly opposite on Leo’s bed. “Please, Leo, listen to me. I’ve never been with Pocho. Never ever. He called me to his room today and kissed me. I didn’t know, I _swear_. I would never lie to you.” He said the words fast, desperate to get them out before it was too late.

Leo didn’t look appeased by it at all. “You were fucking _moaning_. I heard you.”

Kun flushed. “I—but I’m not lying. I haven’t slept with him.”

Leo was still furious. “You still fucking lied, though, didn’t you? You want Pocho!”

“No, Leo, I don’t! _He_ kissed _me_ ,” Kun said desperately.

“Then why the fuck were you moaning? Don’t tell me that wasn’t you!” Leo snapped, eyes flashing. He was so angry even his ears were red.

What the hell did that mean? So what if Kun had moaned? He hadn’t lied to Leo, had he? They weren’t together. Why shouldn’t he kiss anyone?

“What does that matter?”

“What the fuck do you mean? Of _course_ it fucking matters!” Leo shouted.

“Why?” Kun said loudly. “I’m single!”

Leo looked taken aback. He stared at Kun, stunned. Something passed quickly over his face and Kun could have sworn it was hurt. Then he sneered. “Oh, so you two are a thing now? Am I going to have to watch you make out every day now?”

“We’re _not_ anything. He kissed me _once_ and I came to talk to you about it! _Once_ , Leo!”

“Oh, should I be thankful? Thank you, Kun!” Leo exclaimed sarcastically.

“I don’t understand what your fucking problem is!” Kun snapped, fed up. “I’m telling you I haven’t lied to you about anything. Why do you even care if I’m with Pocho or not? It’s not like _you_ want me, right? So why can’t I be with whoever I want?”

“When the _fuck_ did you ask me if I wanted you?” Leo spat, fists clenched on his thighs. “You told me _five_ days ago that you wanted me—wait, you didn’t even _tell_ me! I had to find out from Masche! So when did you give me the time, Kun?”

Kun was stunned. He stared at Leo. “I—”

“Shut the _fuck_ up. I find out my best friend of over a _decade_ feels something for me. I don't even know  _what_ or  _how much_ or _anything_. And I’ve been really trying to think about it, to give it a fair chance, to give _us_ a fair chance. I’ve been trying so hard, Kun! Do you think this is easy for me?”

Kun was quiet. “Leo—”

“I said _shut up_.” Leo’s voice was shaking now. Anger was draining out of him, replaced by something else. “I wanted—I wanted—” he broke off, shaking his head, looking down.

Kun was motionless for a second. He reached for Leo, but Leo knocked his hand aside. “Don’t.” Leo was still shaking his head. “Don’t touch me.”

Kun felt horrible. He’d never ever thought of how difficult this must be for Leo. Of how he must be trying so hard to understand Kun. He’d probably never thought of Kun that way. And he’d been so kind, so understanding.

Kun felt a sick feeling sweep through him. He stared at Leo’s bowed head, miserable, panicking. “Leo,” he whispered, all his longing in one word.

Leo looked at him then. His eyes were red with emotion, cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry,” Leo said quietly. “You deserve to be happy. If that’s—that’s— _him_ , then I support you.”

“You know I want only you,” Kun said hoarsely, his pride completely deserting him. “You know I love only you.”

Leo squeezed his eyes shut tight. “No, I don’t know, Kun. Because you never told me.” His voice wasn’t angry now, just tired and trembling a little.

Kun was silent for a minute. “Leo—”

Leo held up a hand. “Please, Kun.” He put his face in his hands, overcome with emotion. Kun felt his vision blurring and realized he was crying.

When Leo lifted his head and saw the tears, he swore. Immediately, he was on his knees between Kun’s legs. “Stop,” he whispered. “Why are you crying over me? I’m just a short footballer.”

Kun gave Leo a watery smile, tears still falling. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I didn’t think.”

Leo hushed him. He wiped Kun’s tears, smiling. “A short footballer who hasn’t won a single Ballon D’or in _two_ years.”

Kun huffed out a short laugh. “But you’re still the best.”

Leo grinned. “I wish you were the only person who voted. I’d win every year.”

Kun laughed softly. “That’s true. Nobody would come for the ceremony though. It’d be just you and me.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Leo told him, smiling.

“Leo,” Kun said, taking a deep breath, knowing it was now or never. “I love you. I’ve loved you for years and years.”

It was a moment fraught with emotion. There were still tear tracks down Kun’s face. Leo’s hair was a wild mess. But Leo leaned forward slowly until his lips were touching Kun’s. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, his mouth moving against Kun’s.

Kun moaned. He’d waited for this moment for so long it was unbelievable that it was finally here. Leo’s hand came up to frame his face, while he gently bit Kun’s lower lip. He kissed him softly, seemingly content just to brush their lips together.

Kun’s head was swimming. He’d never expected it to happen and it was better than all its fantasies. Leo’s mouth was warm and firm. Kun wanted to touch Leo, but he was scared and kept his fists clenched by his sides.

Leo felt no such qualms. His other hand was in Kun’s hair. He had tilted his head to the right a little and he took Kun’s lower lip into his mouth, sucking gently. Kun wondered if a person could faint during kissing because it seemed like he was getting dizzy.

Leo finally stopped to take a breath, moving back so little that his lips were still touching Kun’s. They were breathing harshly, quickly.

“Are we okay?” Kun asked.

Leo moved back then as if Kun’s question had punctured the atmosphere. Kun cursed himself. Leo turned very red almost instantly. He sat on Kun’s bed, rubbing his knees. He nodded.

Kun flushed too, now. What was supposed to happen now?

Leo seemed to read his mind because he rubbed his neck. “Should we go to bed?” he said. He flushed harder. “I mean go to sleep.”

How the hell did Leo expect him to sleep after that? But Kun was suddenly, completely exhausted. He nodded.

They both got up, blushing, moving carefully around each other so as not to touch each other, even by accident. Kun climbed into his bed. He switched off the lights with the button by his bed.

He stared into the darkness for a long time, replaying the kiss over and over again. He felt like it was a dream.

He didn’t sleep for a long time and, judging by his breathing, Leo didn’t either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a kiss! Yesss. Well, Kun gets two kisses, lucky him. ;) Let me know what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I know this is really kind of late by my standards, but I have an explanation, I swear! Basically, I wrote a much different version of this chapter almost immediately (a smutty one, if you're curious), but I honestly felt that it wasn't right. My whole view of Leo is that he's a cautious guy and I just don't see him jumping into something so quickly? So that meant a whole new chapter and I struggled with how slow/how fast I should take it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope that this chapter isn't TOO frustrating for you guys. But I feel it's more fitting for the characters as I imagine them.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

Kun eyed Leo over his toast. Leo was sitting a few seats down from Kun, chatting and laughing with Angel about something that Kun couldn’t quite catch. Leo seemed happy and relaxed—he’d woken up in a great mood and chattered non-stop with Kun until they’d reached the breakfast table.

Kun loved seeing Leo happy. There was absolutely nothing he wanted more.

But why was he so damn happy _today_?

Kun buttered his toast moodily. He bit into it, getting butter on his lips. Sighing, he wiped his mouth with a napkin and glanced again at Leo.

Leo was dimpling at Angel, tossing his head back in laughter.

Kun frowned. Couldn’t he at least _pretend_ to be thinking about that kiss? Kun felt as if his world had been rocked, as if everything he’d ever known had come to a standstill—and Leo was nudging Angel as he cracked another joke.

Really?

He wanted to throw his toast directly at Leo’s floppy hair. But perhaps their teammates might notice. And he really didn’t want to see Masche’s stupid smirk.

He looked at Leo again and saw that the idiotic bastard hadn’t even looked once at him. Irritated, Kun turned purposely towards Pocho, sitting directly in front of him, and flashed a brilliant smile. Too late he realized that they still hadn’t quite discussed their kiss and that maybe this hot-and-cold behavior would confuse Pocho.

But Pocho smiled back, unperturbed. He winked at Kun and helped himself to more coffee.

Kun frowned inwardly. Was kissing him so routine that everyone felt they could just go about their own life with not a care in the world?

Was he that forgettable?

Or, worse, was his kissing so damn bad?

For that matter, should he more worried about how he was in the same situation with two teammates? Oh, God, was he the team’s resident whore?

Kun cursed inwardly. Enough of these ridiculous Argentine boys. Fuck them all. He didn’t need them. He was going to concentrate on football and the Copa and none of this bullshit.

Leo chose that moment to wink at Kun across the table before returning to his conversation. Kun felt more affronted than ever.

Huffily, he drank his water and chewed his toast with a vengeance. Who did he think he was? Stupid Leo with his stupid magic left foot and his stupid dimples and his stupid round bottom.

Well, perhaps it was better not to think of that particular round bottom. Kun shifted a little uncomfortably as his crotch gave a faint sniff of interest. Sternly, he glared at it and it subsided meekly.

He looked up and saw that Pocho was looking at him warily. Trying to act like making faces at his own genitals was nothing, Kun smiled breezily and reached for the orange juice—and accidentally knocked the whole pitcher all over himself.

Swearing loudly, he stood up. He was soaked from the waist down. The whole table was silent for one second then everyone burst out in raucous laughter. Kun himself laughed. But the juice had been icy cold and he immediately shivered. The movement rocked his shoulder and he winced, his normal arm coming to cup it.

Masche was sitting next to him and he was the first one to realize Kun was in pain. “Is it still hurting?” he said sharply.

Kun nodded, trying to look calm, but he felt fear clench his stomach. His shoulder had been sore all morning, but it was screamingly painful now and he gritted his teeth against the pain, furious with himself. He couldn’t miss the Copa for this. Not another injury. He’d had to sit out most of the World Cup and it had been awful. He couldn’t go through it again.

Masche stood up. “I’ll come with you.”

Kun nodded again, unable to say anything. The rest of their teammates had gone back to talking amongst themselves and as he was about to leave, Leo materialized right next to him.

“What’s wrong?” he said, frowning.

Kun was still holding his shoulder gingerly. “I don’t know.”

Masche stopped, looking between them both. “Will you take him, Leo?”

Kun flushed bright red, knowing what Masche was trying to do. “No,” he said quickly. “Leo, you don’t have to.”

Leo completely ignored Kun, looking at Masche and nodding. Masche gently patted Kun’s good shoulder, winking surreptitiously. Kun tried hard not to glare at him since Leo was still looking at him in concern.

They walked back to the elevators, Kun feeling angry and embarrassed. He didn’t want Leo. Leo was happy talking to Angel, wasn’t he? Why did he have to butt in? Did he feel sorry for Kun?

“Does it hurt a lot?” Leo asked, probably misinterpreting Kun’s frown.

Kun decided a nod would suffice, not meeting Leo’s eyes.

The doors dinged open and they both stepped inside. Leo pressed their floor and they went up in silence, not looking at each other. When they reached their floor, Leo placed his hand in the small of Kun’s back as he ushered him out of the elevator and down the hallway.

Kun fumed. Leo was treating him like a child. Well, he hadn’t been much of a kid last night when Leo’s tongue was down his throat, had he? He walked a little quicker, trying to escape Leo’s hands. Not looking down, he tripped slightly and, though he righted himself quickly, the movement jarred his shoulder badly and he gasped, pain shooting up his arm and into his shoulder.

Leo was immediately there, eyes full of concern. “Kun! Are you okay?”

Kun nodded, clenching his teeth against the pain. He jerked his chin towards the door, just two steps away and Leo hurriedly opened it.

Kun stepped inside, freezing, in pain, and thoroughly irritated.

He immediately went to his suitcase and tried to open it with one hand. Leo came quickly to his side and said, “I’ll do it.”

Kun turned to him instantly. “I can do it myself!” he snapped.

Leo grabbed Kun’s wrist—the normal one—and they looked at each other. Leo’s eyes were calm, but Kun knew he was a little angry. “Kun.”

Kun glared back defiantly.

“Go and sit down. I’ll get it,” Leo said in a low voice, his tone a warning.

Kun jerked his wrist out of Leo’s grasp and stomped over to the bed, partially aware that he was acting like a child, but not caring. Fuming, he sat down with his back to Leo.

Leo took a few minutes to come back. He made a brief trip to the bathroom, turning the tap on quickly and then returning with a new jersey, pants, a wet washcloth, a towel and—for the love of all that was holy, was that _underwear_?

“I am _not_ changing my underwear in front of you!” Kun said quickly.

Leo looked at him, amused. “Do you think I’m going to take advantage of you?” he said, raising one eyebrow and smirking.

Furious, Kun looked away. Yeah, so Leo wasn’t attracted to him. He didn’t have to be such a _jerk_ about it.

“Can you stand?”

Kun stood, not meeting Leo’s eyes. His heart was suddenly beating a little faster. Leo stepped closer and slipped his fingers under the edge of Kun’s jersey, his warm fingers burning against Kun’s cool, slightly damp skin.

Kun hated himself for it, but he shivered. He stubbornly continued to look to the right, but he felt Leo’s hands still at Kun’s reaction. For a second, Leo didn’t move, his fingers simply motionless on Kun’s bare skin, then Leo lifted the shirt.

He did it in such a way that Kun shrugged his normal arm out of the jersey first, then Leo gently maneuvered the jersey over Kun’s injured shoulder, moving it as little as possible. Kun still hissed in pain.

Leo tossed the jersey away and stepped closer. Kun’s breath stopped until he realized that Leo was looking hard at his injured shoulder. Gently, Leo’s fingers brushed against it. Kun’s eyes closed, longing for Leo so much it made him weak.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw that Leo was watching him. He hadn’t stepped back yet. Kun could feel his heartbeat everywhere, loud and rushing. Leo’s eyes were dark and so intense, he felt as if it was sucking his breath away.

Slowly, Leo bent down, picking up a wet washcloth and wiping Kun’s skin, sticky with the orange juice. “I-I can do that,” Kun said shakily.

Leo ignored him, quickly finishing and tossing the washcloth away. He rubbed him dry quickly with the towel, taking care not to move his shoulder. Kun felt his irritation return at this treatment and he bit back a snarky comment.

Leo seemed to know anyway because he met Kun’s sullen glance with a smirk. Kun’s breath came out in a hiss, half-pain, half-irritation. But Leo stopped immediately.

“What?”

They were standing so close that Leo’s voice was almost a whisper, not needing to be loud. Kun felt it vibrate against his skin and he swallowed. He was tired of being this hard around Leo. It was ridiculous that he was erect when his shoulder hurt so much. Why was his body so unruly?

“Nothing. Just a little twinge.”

Leo searched his eyes for a second, then he hooked his fingers into Kun’s shorts. Kun closed his eyes, embarrassed that Leo was going to see his hard-on. Leo didn’t make a comment even though it must have been obvious as Kun stepped out of his shorts.

“I’ll put the towel around you,” Leo said, voice calm. “I’ll pull it down underneath that. Is that okay?”

Kun nodded, looking firmly at Leo’s shirt and not his eyes. He was so embarrassed that he felt he could die.

Why was God so _cruel_?

Leo had to step close to wrap the towel around him and Kun angled his head away. He felt a sudden huff of laughter against his ear and he snapped his eyes to Leo’s.

Leo was smiling. “I’m sorry. It’s just—it’s kind of funny.”

Kun glared at him. “It’s the _opposit_ e of funny. It’s very _not_ funny. Let’s see _you_ deal with this.”

They were very close, so close that Kun could see all of Leo’s eyelashes, thick and long and beautiful. Leo grinned. “Be thankful it’s me. What would Masche think?”

Kun groaned, closing his eyes in misery. He could hear Leo chuckling as he tied the towel carefully around Kun. He kneeled down in front of Kun and slipped his hands up the towel.

Kun dropped his head back, looking up. This was it. This was the _height_ of disrespect.

What next? Would Kun have to get down on all fours while Leo pressed his crotch against Kun’s ass?

What else, universe? Surely, someone up there was enjoying fucking around with Kun a whole lot.

Kun winced as Leo’s fingers hooked into the waistband of his underwear. He pulled it down with a slight amount of difficulty owing to Kun’s erection. Kun stepped out of the wet item, so humiliated he felt death was more acceptable than this.

He looked down at Leo’s head. He could see that Leo’s cheeks had reddened and this made Kun feel a bit better. It would be just plain unfair if he was the only one suffering. Leo wiped his legs as much as he could with the washcloth considering he couldn’t see much because of the towel.

He tacitly avoided the crotch and Kun silently thanked God that Leo wasn’t pushing it. He’d put up with a sticky crotch, thank you very much. Leo picked up the clean underwear and held it out as if Kun was a child, indicating that Kun should step in. Kun put a hand on Leo’s shoulder for balance and stepped in resentfully, cursing Leo. Leo pulled it up as quickly as he could under the towel without dislodging it.

Leo looked up at Kun. “Can I remove the towel now?”

“Sure, why not? You’ve been doing what you feel like for some time now,” Kun muttered bitterly.

Leo laughed. He removed the towel and froze as Kun’s erection appeared directly in front of his face. Kun felt his cock lurch obviously in his underwear at this, and he pressed a hand on Leo’s head, trying to push it down so he wouldn’t look. “Please,” he groaned.

Leo obediently bent his head downwards, but he seemed to need a moment to recover. His hands were shaking a little, Kun was pleased to see, when he held out the pants in front of Kun.

Kun stepped into them quickly and Leo stood, pulling them hurriedly up. Kun made the mistake of looking at Leo and he felt his stomach flop. Leo was looking so intense, his eyes so fierce, that Kun was mesmerized.

“Leo,” he breathed, unable to stop himself.

But Leo shook his head as if he was trying to come back to his senses. He picked up the fresh jersey and carefully helped Kun into it, his movements efficient and rapid. Kun’s heart was still racing, but he was calmer now.

When Kun was fully dressed, Leo stepped back. He was breathing a little harder too, but otherwise was his usual cool self.

“Are you good? Should we go?”

Kun nodded and they left the room, making their way to the training ground in silence. Kun’s cheeks was on fire and he was still hard as hell.

In other words, just a regular day in Kun’s life.

 

* * *

Kun woke up to Leo gently nudging him awake. He blinked up at him in confusion for a second, then smiled. “Hey.”

Leo was smiling, eyes slightly crinkled in worry. “Hey yourself. How’s the shoulder?”

Kun had been told not to train with the rest of the group because of the pain. He’d instead done some light workouts with the team physiotherapist. They’d placed hot towels and ointment on his shoulder and he’d left early. He’d put the TV on when he came back to the room, but the warm room and the sunshine had made him sleepy and he soon dozed.

“It’s actually much better,” Kun said, yawning and stretching his shoulder gingerly.

“Good. I got you some mate.”

Kun smiled. He drank some in thanks and then set it aside for later. Leo was looking fresh and cool after having had a shower. He smelled good too, of soap and shampoo.

“I missed you today,” Leo said, poking Kun’s side.

“Did you?” Kun grinned.

“Yeah. It was so quiet.”

Kun raised his eyebrows. “And…?”

“And what?”

“What else did you miss?”

Leo quirked his lips in amusement. “Your terrible passes.”

Kun huffed. “Leo!”

Leo laughed. “Okay, okay. I missed warming up next to you.”

Kun rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

“I’m serious! Every time I warm up next to you, I feel—I feel good. Like everything’s going to be okay.” Leo’s cheeks were a little red.

Kun flushed, going briefly silent. He’d always been terrible in emotional situations and this was no different. “What about my hot body?” he blurted. Humour had been his escape for as long as he could remember.

Leo tilted his head, smiling. “Eh. Angel was there.” His eyes were warm, teasing.

Kun blushed. So Leo had _known_! “Shut up,” Kun grumbled, picking at the sheets.

Leo grinned. “You do know you’re my best friend, right?”

“Yeah,” Kun said in a small petulant voice.

“And that I love you, right?”

“Mm.”

“And that I like Kunessi more than any of the other ones, right?”

Kun smiled at that. “What about Neymessi?”

“Mm. Well, that one’s special, I guess,” Leo said mischievously. “We _did_ just win a treble.”

Kun smacked Leo hard. “MESSI.”

Leo was laughing. “I didn’t know Neymessi bothered you.”

Kun muttered, “It _doesn’t_. Other people talk about it. I mean—it’s a _lot_ of touching, okay?”

“Don’t forget the rolling around on the ground and the hugging.”

Kun glared at him. “Do you have a point?”

Leo grinned. “He’s 23.”

“Yeah, so what? He’s single, isn’t he? Who knows what you’re into?” Kun mumbled.

“Well, that’s true. I tend to like children—or grown men acting like children,” Leo smirked at Kun.

Kun scowled. “You are insufferable. I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Leo seemed uninterested in the insult, waving a hand and exclaiming, “Hey, why don’t we have dinner here today? We could watch a movie.”

“But what about the rest of the team?” Kun asked.

“I’ll tell them you’re feeling tired and I don’t want to leave you alone,” Leo shrugged.

Kun beamed. “I love it. Let’s do it!”

They ordered room service and Leo treated Kun like a baby. He fussed and fretted over him, tucking him in, getting water and putting food on a plate and then setting it on his lap. Kun was secretly pleased, but he felt obliged to be as grouchy and pouty as possible.

Leo seemed more amused by this than anything and he indulged Kun in all his whining. They ordered a horror movie on the TV and Leo climbed into bed with Kun, balancing his own plate of food in one hand.

They ate quickly, laughing at all the so-called scary scenes. After a while, plates tucked away, Leo lowered the volume a bit and turned to Kun.

“You okay? Need anything?”

Kun pondered this. “Ice cream.”

Leo raised an eyebrow. “You’re not supposed to be eating ice cream.”

“Then why did you ask?”

Laughing, Leo settled down in the bed, raising the volume again. He spoke over the screaming, “If you want anything reasonable, tell me.”

Kun decided it was best not to respond. Leo definitely hadn’t intended that to be sexual and it wasn’t his fault that Kun’s mind was basically that of a horny teenager’s.

But Leo was insistent. He nudged Kun. “Did you hear me?”

Kun grinned, deciding to laugh it off. “Yeah, whatever I want, I get. Got it.”

Leo didn’t laugh and Kun looked at him, puzzled. He saw Leo’s eyes were suddenly arrested, his expression serious and intent. Kun felt his breath hitch, but attempted a smile. “What? Did I get it wrong?”

Leo shook his head. “No. You’re absolutely right,” he said quietly. He looped his hand suddenly around Kun’s neck, tangling in his hair, and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek.

Kun flushed immediately, but kept his eyes trained forward. Leo removed his arm right away and for a while they watched the movie in silence.

Kun lounged lower on the bed, stretching his arms above his head in abandon, trying to fake his mind into being calm. He looked at Leo out of the corner of his eye. Leo was looking delicious, the white T-shirt stretching over his biceps in a way that made Kun sigh inwardly.

He was just mentally picturing removing the T-shirt and kissing Leo's chest, when Leo turned his head abruptly and caught Kun staring. He decided to brazen it out. He raised his eyebrows and flashed a brilliant smile.

Leo seemed amused. “See something you like?”

Kun nodded, jokingly leering at Leo. “You know I do.”

Leo rolled his eyes, half-smiling. “When are you not horny?”

The answer came off Kun’s tongue faster than he could think. “When you’re not in bed with me.”

Leo was still smiling, but his eyes were serious and absorbed. “Oh, really?” he asked absently, his eyes searching Kun’s face.

Kun nodded, feeling suddenly shaky. He looked away at the TV, wondering what on earth was happening. He’d totally lost the plot of the movie. Taking a deep breath, he concentrated hard, aware that Leo was still looking at him.

For a long second, Leo continued to gaze at Kun. Then Kun suddenly felt Leo’s fingers slipping in between his. His heart began to pound but he said nothing as Leo intertwined their hands, their palms flush against each other.

The rest of the movie was an absolute mystery to Kun. Leo continued to watch and make comments to which Kun attempted to reply sensibly, but he was lost. His whole world had come down to their hands, to Leo’s fingers brushing his, to Leo’s thumb occasionally stroking his hand.

He was also hard and leaking, but he bent his knee enough to keep Leo from looking. Kun’s hand burned hot throughout the movie and he could feel Leo’s fingers as if they were touching him everywhere, the soft brushes making his heart pound.

When the movie was over, Leo switched it off, laughing at the ending. He was still holding Kun’s hand though their palms were both sweaty. “Are you okay?” he said, noticing Kun was still staring at the TV.

Kun nodded, smiling quickly. “Just thinking about the movie.”

Leo laughed. “What’s to think about? It sucked.”

Kun forced a smile. “Yeah, just thinking about how you made me waste hours of my life.”

Leo grinned. “Oh and me watching your stupid romantic movies weren’t a waste?”

“Those were classics!” Kun said, outraged.

“Well, it was boring as hell.”

Kun sniffed. “I can’t help it if you have no taste.”

Leo chuckled. “Okay, time to get to bed. You okay? Need anything?”

Kun shook his head. Leo was still holding his hand. Wildly, he thought that maybe Leo intended to sleep with him.

But Leo simply leaned forward, pressing his cheek lightly against Kun’s as a good night kiss. He let go of Kun’s hand and slipped into his own bed, pulling up the covers.

“Good night,” he called.

Kun switched off the light, burrowing deeper in his sheets. “ ‘Night.”

He thought that it was lucky he’d had such a long nap that afternoon because he knew he wasn’t going to get much sleep now.

Not when his hand was still on fire.

And his cock still so hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No more kisses! :( But some hand-holding ;) 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I hope this chapter is fun for you because I liked writing it. ;) It's a little shorter than I expected, but ah well. I've been crazy busy. Enjoy!

When Kun woke up the next morning, he felt unaccountably happy. He couldn’t remember why for a few minutes until he remembered Leo holding his hand throughout the movie. Smiling uncontrollably, he groped for his phone in the dim light.

It was time to get up. They had to travel for their next match today and he hadn’t packed last night. Neither had Leo. He’d better wake him up too. He decided he’d do so after he used the bathroom.

After finishing up, he came back from the bathroom feeling bouncy and hyper. There was a little bit of light in the room now and he threw open the curtains. Leo was still sleeping soundly and he sat on the edge of the bed. He gently shook him.

Leo came awake quickly, turning to look at him, yawning. “Is it time?”

Kun nodded, feeling a wave of affection. Leo looked so sweet, stretching, rubbing his eyes. “We forgot to pack yesterday.”

“Mm.” Leo smiled sleepily, then yawned again.

Unable to help himself, on impulse, Kun leaned forward and pecked Leo quickly on the lips. They both froze in shock at the kiss, staring at each other.

Kun made to get up, flushing. “Sorry, I didn’t—”

Leo caught his hands, pulling him back, even while he continued to lie down. “No. Sit. I should be the one apologizing considering my morning breath,” he said, smiling.

Kun felt warmth spread through him. “That’s true,” he grinned. “Good thing I didn’t use tongue.”

Leo laughed. “Now I wish I had brushed my teeth,” he said teasingly.

They were still holding hands, fingers interlinked. Kun felt as if something inside him was soaring. Whatever this was, it made him happy. “Well, now you know.”

“I’ll set my alarm earlier tomorrow.” Leo’s eyes were warm and full of affection.

“Well, we’re going to be late if you don’t get up now. Up, up.” Kun tugged lightly on Leo’s hands and he got up, groaning and going to the bathroom.

For the first time in his life, Kun started packing with a huge smile on his face.

* * *

They went directly to the team bus after finishing breakfast, taking their bags along. Kun moved to the back of the bus, looking for a seat next to the window. He sat and Leo plopped down next to him. They were surprisingly comfortable with each other considering the number of somewhat _un_ platonic incidents that had happened between them in the last few days.

Kun sent a prayer up in thanks at this. He’d never thought that Masche revealing his secret would turn out so— _well_. He smiled, thinking of their kisses—two now! He glanced at Leo and saw him frowning at the front of the bus. Kun had a sudden impulse to hug him, but restrained himself, instead looking out at the crowd of fans around the bus. He waved at a few, posing for some photographs through the glass.

When everyone had sat and the bus had started moving, Kun pulled out his phone. He showed Leo some videos of Benja. Leo bent close to watch, his shoulder leaning heavily on Kun’s good one, the pressure warm and sweet. They argued playfully about whose child was cuter, better, smarter. Leo was insistent that Thiago was the most handsome baby in the world and Kun was _sure_ that Benja was the most intelligent.

They were in the middle of laughing about some joke when Pocho, sitting across the aisle from Leo, leaned forward, interrupting them. “Hey, Leo. Is it okay if we switch? Just wanted to talk to Kun for a little while.”

The atmosphere got so tense so fast it was astonishing. Leo stiffened, but only Kun could tell because their thighs were touching. Kun felt his heart speed up and, for one mad second, he wanted to say no to Pocho. But common sense prevailed and he held his tongue.

Leo, for his part, nodded immediately. He stood up, letting Pocho slide over, and claimed Pocho’s old seat, sitting next to a sleeping Angel. He took out his phone and started to aimlessly browse, his face blank.

Kun felt extremely uncomfortable as Pocho shifted closer. “Hey, man.”

Kun smiled, trying to act normal. “Hey, Pocho. What’s up?”

Pocho nodded. “I wanted to talk to you about that… night,” he said, voice lowered. “I don’t want things to be weird between us. It was just an impulsive thing, you know?”

Kun felt relief flooding him. “No problem. We’re cool, man,” he said lightly, smiling.

Pocho clapped him hard on the back, then slipped a hand around him, careful not to bother Kun’s sore shoulder. “Good, good.” He squeezed Kun lightly and then removed his arm, settling back in his seat. But he didn’t ask Leo to switch back and Kun felt it would be pathetic if he asked.

So, slightly irritated and disappointed, Kun put on his headphones and listened to cumbia for the rest of the journey. Pocho, for that matter, slept immediately.

Kun couldn’t see what Leo was doing, but perhaps that was for the best. He hoped to God that Pocho hadn’t ruined the fragile _thing_ that had developed between Leo and him. He didn’t want to have to start over or, worse, lose it altogether.

When they reached their hotel, Leo didn’t wait for Kun, getting off the bus quickly with his things. Kun frowned slightly. It wasn’t exactly uncommon for Leo to do that, but it was unusual. He followed Pocho, maintaining an impassive face for the cameras and the fans.

They went up the elevator in a big group. Kun was squashed against Higuain and Angel. He could see Leo at the other end, looking at his feet, deep in thought. Kun wondered if he was stressed about the game, but he had a sinking feeling that that was only a part of the problem.

They exited the elevator together and made their way to their new rooms. Pocho and Angel were directly in front of them, across the hall, and Kun inwardly cursed his fate. Leo opened their door quickly and Kun followed closely.

When the door closed with a click behind them, it was as if someone had switched off the volume. It was deathly silent except for their quiet movements. Kun felt tense and upset, wishing he’d never gone to Pocho’s room in the first place. He wanted to bring it up himself, but kept chickening out.

He jumped when Leo spoke.

“What did Pocho want?”

Leo was speaking with his back to Kun, unzipping his suitcase and taking out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt.

Kun swallowed, his heart beating fast. “He wanted to just get everything clear about that… night.”

Leo was quiet for a beat. “Everything clear now?”

Kun had finished pushing his suitcase to the corner and now he leaned against the wall, looking at Leo’s back. “Yeah.” He didn’t know what to say—whether he was supposed to reassure Leo or just stop talking about it so as not to annoy him more.

Leo made no reply and Kun felt so frustrated by this that he crept a little forward, away from the wall and towards Leo. “Are you… mad at me?” he asked in a small voice.

Leo sighed. He turned to face Kun, then plopped down on his bed. “No, I’m not. But I—” He looked torn and a little confused.

“What?” Kun said, standing still.

Leo stood, zipping up his suitcase and pushing it over to where Kun’s was. When he finished, he straightened, turning to Kun. They were still standing quite a bit apart, but closer than before. Leo rubbed the back of his neck ruefully. “I’m—I’m jealous,” he finally said in a rush, his breath coming out in a whoosh.

“ _What_?” Kun said incredulously, sure he’d misheard.

Leo shook his head. “I’m not jealous. Or maybe I am. I don’t know. I just—just don’t like seeing you with him.” He paused, then added, flushing, “Or anyone else.”

Kun was so stunned by this that he was speechless. He simply gaped at Leo, unable to process that Leo was _jealous_. But something else was clearing in his mind, a wonderful sort of clarity filling him. He felt a rush of warmth surge through him and he cleared his throat. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Kun smiled. “I won’t be with anyone else.”

Leo looked stricken. “No! That’s not what I meant at all. I don’t want you to do that for me!” he cried.

Kun shook his head, still smiling. He felt oddly calm. “If you don’t like seeing me with someone else, then I won’t be with someone.”

“Kun, no. You’re misunderstanding. I just—I don’t _want_ that. I don’t even know if—” Leo looked desperate and frantic.

Kun laughed. “Listen. It doesn’t mean that we’re together. It doesn’t mean that we even have to end up together. It doesn’t mean anything. But I want us to have a chance. And if you don’t want me to be with anyone else while you think about it, I’ll do that.” He felt thankful at how well that had come out, how articulate he’d been with his emotions.

Leo looked agitated. “No, please. It’s too much pressure, Kun.”

Kun held his hands up. “No pressure, I promise. You can take your own time. But I can’t do anything else anyway—if there’s even a possibility.” _Of us_. He didn’t say it, but he knew Leo understood.

Leo’s face was tense with emotion, his throat working hard. “I’m sorry.” He rubbed his face hard. “God. I don’t deserve you.”

They were still standing, looking at each other. “Shut up,” Kun said lightly. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s forget it, alri—”

But before he could end the sentence, Leo was moving forward quickly, pressing him into the wall. Kun felt himself be pushed flush against the wall and then, as Leo’s mouth touched his, it was as if he briefly went blind. His mouth had been parted in surprise, and then it was like a rushing onslaught on all his senses as Leo’s tongue touched his.

Leo’s hand was on the side of his face, the other on the wall by Kun’s head. Kun kept his by his sides, terrified to touch Leo, although wanting to. Leo’s lips were warm against his, his tongue licking into his mouth. The kiss was hard, passionate, as if Leo was trying to say something with his kiss that he couldn’t otherwise. Kun felt his head swim in pleasure and, without knowing it, his hands came up to hold Leo gently at the waist.

Leo was leaning into Kun more fully now, his hand tangling into Kun’s hair. He tilted his head to the left, deepening the kiss. Kun felt Leo nip gently at his lower lip and he moaned, his cock so hard it was aching. The sound seemed to calm Leo and he gentled his kisses, slowing the tempo.

Kun felt like his very skin was on fire—he’d never kissed anyone who made him feel this way. The kiss was going on and on, long, slow, lazy ones that were making his head spin. His fingers tightened in Leo’s shirt, grabbing hard onto the material. He could feel Leo’s warmth pouring from him and it was so physically hot that it made Kun gasp a little.

Leo slowed their kisses even more. And somehow it made Kun go even weaker. Leo was moving his mouth so gently, so fractionally, so slowly, it was like molasses and sweetness and heat and pleasure. He could feel every bit of friction of Leo’s lips against his now—it was overwhelmingly erotic and Kun felt his knees giving out a little. But Leo was there, pressing into him, holding him up with his own body.

Leo’s mouth was so good against Kun’s, it was like nothing else. Leo was sucking on Kun’s lower lip, his tongue running slowly over it and Kun moaned in pleasure. Then Leo went back to tangling his tongue with Kun’s until Kun felt he was going to explode. He turned his head, breaking the kiss on a gasp, feeling overwhelmed, his senses so overwrought, he felt dizzy. Leo let him turn his cheek and, for a second, they both breathed hard, still flush against each other.

Leo kissed Kun’s ear once, biting gently on it, making him shiver. He could feel Leo’s lips moving down his neck.

And that’s when they heard the knock.

Leo jumped back. He took a second to calm himself before quickly eyeing Kun. “Go to the bathroom,” he whispered, taking Kun’s hand.

Kun let himself be led, still feeling a little overwhelmed. Leo nudged him in carefully and then shut the door. Kun locked the door and sunk to the ground, sitting on the cold bathroom floor, dazed.

He could hear happy voices at the door and Leo’s laughter, but he tuned them out. He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the door.

If that was how kissing Leo made him feel, would he ever survive sex?

* * *

The visitors didn’t leave, forcing Kun to get a hold of himself. He waited five minutes before realizing it was useless hiding out and he stood, splashing his face with cold water. His erection had gone down with the sudden arrival of people, but he still felt a little shaky.

He patted his face dry and stepped out, pasting a smile on. He saw Angel and Pocho, perched on both their beds. Leo was sitting on Kun’s bed, next to Angel but with a respectable distance between them.

Kun avoided Leo’s eyes, smiling at the other two. “Hey!”

“How long do you take in the bathroom?”

“What are you, putting on makeup?”

Kun grinned. “Gotta keep myself looking fresh.” His heart was still pounding and he could feel his cheeks starting to flush now. He didn’t dare look at Leo.

“Let’s all go for lunch?”

Kun nodded. He grabbed his phone on the nightstand, passing close by Leo. Their eyes met for a second and Leo smiled slowly, his eyes mischievous. Kun blushed and proceeded to ignore Leo.

Leo seemed amused by this, but didn’t tease or push Kun. He kept a respectable distance between them, but sat down next to Kun at the lunch table. They were seated at a table in a corner. The rest of their teammates had mostly already come down.

The table had a bench on one side with chairs on the other. The bench was against the wall, facing the restaurant. Kun and Leo sat there, somewhat in a corner.

As Kun fussed with his seat, trying to maintain space between him and Leo, he could feel Leo’s warm gaze on him. “Stop,” Kun hissed, not looking.

Leo chuckled, but looked away. Kun breathed a sigh of relief until he felt Leo’s fingers on his thighs. Shocked, he froze until Leo’s hand found his and Leo intertwined their fingers, squeezing Kun’s lightly. Kun felt his heart pound again, but part of him wanted to squeal in delight.

He tried to pull his hand away, but Leo held fast. “I can’t eat like this,” Kun whispered, so red he looked like a tomato.

Leo smiled, squeezed Kun’s hand again and let go. He turned to join the table conversation, laughing and joking with the rest of them.

Kun smiled so much through the rest of the meal that Masche finally had to ask him what the damn hell he’d smoked.

Laughing, he made no reply, but Masche’s twinkling eyes told him he that he probably knew the answer. Kun winked, silently thanking Masche for spilling his secret.

Maybe he wasn’t such a bad guy after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah kisses! Isn't that fun? ;) Please let me know what you think!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So to be perfectly honest, I'm not too happy with this chapter and I think it needs a bit more work. I'll come back and redo it one of these days. But the storyline is still the same so that's why I'm posting it anyway. Enjoy!

The mood in the locker room was buoyant, exuberant, ecstatic. Argentina had finished top of the group with their win over Jamaica. It had been a gritty match and they’d had fierce competitors. But they’d done it and Kun felt like he was riding a wave of excitement.

He hadn’t played today because his shoulder was still a little sore, but it was getting better every day and he was sure he’d be in the next match. Pocho and Garay were singing loudly, shirtless, arms around each other, swaying from side to side. Even Masche was laughing and jumping.

Kun looked for Leo and saw him a little ways off, grinning and leaning against his locker. He wasn’t as happy as he should have been and Kun knew why. Leo hadn’t scored from open play for Argentina in a long time and the media wasn’t letting him forget it.

Leo was probably harder on himself than anyone else could be. And sometimes it physically hurt Kun to read the comments about Leo, the articles—always either questioning him or lauding him excessively. Kun knew that exaggerated praise could be as harmful as the doubts, but he also knew that the praise was deserved, true. It was just that it raised the standards higher and higher and it had set such a punishing precedent that nobody could possibly hope to replicate that level of performance week after week.

Leo somehow managed to do it most of the time, but Kun wondered how damaging it was on him, physically and mentally. He wondered how long Leo could stand so strong, wondered where Leo drew all that inner resilience from. Kun knew he probably would have crumbled long ago, but this was the difference between genius and talent. This was what set Leo apart.

It made Kun proud and anxious of him all at the same time. Troubled by his thoughts, he realized he was frowning at the ground. Shaking his head, he raised his gaze and saw Leo watching him. Kun smiled at him. Leo smiled back, but slowly. It was measured, his eyes still intent and watchful.

Kun turned away. He didn’t need to shower and so he really had nothing to do here. He wished he could go home to Benja. He missed him terribly. They called often, but it wasn’t the same thing. Children didn’t have the kind of attention span necessary for Skyping and Benja often wandered off in the middle of a conversation, leaving Kun frustrated.

Astonished at how maudlin he was feeling, Kun threw an arm around Masche who had just showered and was still a little damp. Masche grinned back, wrapping his hand around Kun’s waist. They hugged quickly, hard, and Masche laughed in his ear.

“How’s the shoulder, Kun?”

“Superb. I’ll be back for the next one.”

Masche ruffled his hair in answer, smiling. Kun dodged his hand, but the damage was done. He laughed, combing his hair with his fingers. His eyes strayed to Leo as they always did and saw him still leaning against the locker, smiling at Kun. There was something soft in Leo’s expression, something unguarded and open that made Kun’s heart beat a little faster.

Ignoring it, Kun grinned and waggled his eyebrows. He mimed soaping himself up and raised his eyebrows. Leo nodded, taking a towel from his locker and heading to the showers.

Kun debated briefly if he should wait or just head to the team bus, but at the last minute, he decided to go. He felt a little mentally tired, although he didn’t really know why. He kissed and hugged teammates or staff on the way out, everyone’s mood joyous and happy.

He was one of the first few on the bus and he collapsed onto a seat, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew, Leo was shaking him awake. Blinking, he looked around, realizing they had reached the hotel.

Leo was grinning. “Sleeping here tonight?”

Kun pushed him lightly. “Go away.”

Leo turned and walked out of the bus, still smiling. Kun followed, still yawning and running his fingers quickly through his hair. He wondered if he could skip dinner tonight and just go to bed. But he knew that the team would kill him if he wandered off by himself.

Sighing, he followed them directly to the restaurant. Leo had sat down first somewhere in the middle of the long table. Kun purposely sat at one end of the table, feeling an overwhelming need to not have to participate too much in the dinner conversation.

He ate quickly and, as soon as was polite, excused himself. He was feeling more and more exhausted. Briefly, he wondered if he was sick, but he felt good otherwise. He said a quick cheerful goodbye to the rest of the guys, smiling at Leo.

When he entered his room, he staggered to his bed, pausing only to remove his pants before collapsing into bed and falling asleep almost immediately.

* * *

Kun woke in the middle of the night. The room was pitch black and he could make out Leo on his own bed, fast asleep. Kun rolled to his side, feeling wide awake suddenly. He groped for his phone and checked his texts and emails briefly before putting it away.

His mouth tasted filthy and he had to pee. Yawning, he padded to the bathroom quietly. When he finished and had brushed his teeth quickly, he came back to the bedroom to find Leo awake. He had turned on his bedside lamp.

Surprised, Kun said, “Sorry! Did I wake you?”

Leo yawned, nodding. “Are you okay?”

Kun frowned. “Yeah, why?”

“You seemed really quiet. You didn’t wait for me and you didn’t sit with me at dinner.”Leo sat up, swinging his legs out to the side of the bed.

Kun laughed. He climbed into his own bed. He propped himself up on his elbows, grinning at Leo. “No, no. I was just feeling really tired.”

Leo smiled. “I thought I had made you mad.”

Kun scoffed. “What could you have done to make me mad?”

“I thought…” Leo trailed off so Kun looked at him, arrested. “The kiss.”

Kun flushed red. They had successfully managed to avoid talking about the kiss, distracting themselves with the match. He rubbed the back of his neck, heart beating quickly. “Oh. Um. No,” he said cleverly, looking down.

There was a silence thick with tension. Then Leo stood up, coming to perch on Kun’s bed. Kun felt his heart pound so hard it was physically uncomfortable. He was half lying down, still leaning on his elbows, Leo half above him. The position made Kun feel even more vulnerable.

Leo smiled. “We’re okay, right?” he asked softly, his eyes searching Kun’s face.

Kun nodded, mouth too dry to speak.

The side of Leo’s hip was brushing Kun’s thigh. Kun felt the warmth keenly through the sheets and wanted to move away but felt this would be pathetic and forced himself to stay still. Leo’s hair was rumpled and he looked frankly delicious.

Leo moved his hand forward, gently touching the back of Kun’s. Frozen, Kun stared as Leo lifted Kun’s hand to his mouth, brushing it gently with his lips.

“Leo,” Kun said hoarsely, his voice just above a whisper.

He didn’t know whether he was telling Leo to stop or go on, but Leo just smiled. He dropped Kun’s hand on the bed and leaned forward. He approached Kun very slowly, giving him time to turn his head away if he wanted. But Kun was just frozen, concentrating only on his dwindling ability to breathe.

When Leo was just half a breath away from Kun’s lips, he stopped, his eyes searching Kun’s. Leo lifted a corner of his mouth in a smile and Kun felt warmth spread through his entire body. Very gently, Leo rubbed his lips over Kun’s. Kun’s elbows gave way almost immediately and he lay down fully, unable to hold his own weight.

Leo followed him without breaking the kiss, gently nibbling on Kun’s lips. Kun sighed and opened his mouth, feeling lightheaded. Leo’s tongue was slow and sweet in Kun’s mouth. It wasn’t a very sexual kiss, but Kun was hard anyway. Leo’s hands came up, one to brace himself on Kun’s pillow and the other on Kun’s chest.

The kiss didn’t last long probably because it was an uncomfortable position for Leo. He broke the kiss gently with a series of soft pecks. When Leo finally raised his head, Kun felt as if he was drunk on something.

“Good night,” Leo whispered, pressing one last kiss on Kun’s cheek before going back to his own bed. He switched the lamp off quickly and rolled to face the wall.

Surprisingly, Kun fell asleep almost immediately, his eyes so heavy, he couldn’t even concentrate on analyzing the kiss.

* * *

Kun was understandably a little embarrassed the next day, but Leo was perfectly normal. Inwardly, Kun was amazed that Leo could be so calm and act like nothing was different between them, but Leo had always been very good at maintaining his poker face.

Soon, Kun relaxed too and by the time they went down to breakfast, he was his usual, mischievous self. They bet on who would score more in training that day. Leo was leaning against the elevator wall and laughing hard, head thrown back, as they talked. And Kun thought, for a minute, that even if nothing else happened between them, he wanted this Leo more than he wanted any Leo—this happy, bubbly, dimpling Leo, eyes sparkling with laughter.

Distracted by this thought, he simply looked at Leo, still laughing. Leo raised his eyebrows finally, smiling. “What?”

Kun shook his head, grinning. “I was just planning how to outdribble you.”

Leo pursed his lips, smiling. “You could never, old man.”

Kun just grinned. They walked into the breakfast table still arguing and laughing and Kun felt even more keenly how important Leo was for him, his best friend first and foremost.

Above _everything_ else.

~~

Kun and Leo jogged together during training, talking about some of the other teams in the Copa. They argued about Neymar with Leo predictably taking his side.

“He’s just 23, Kun.”

“So? You didn’t do things like that then.”

Leo smiled. “I’m a totally different person. I’ve never been like Neymar.”

“So then why does it make it okay?”

Leo sighed. “Because he’s learning. I don’t think we should be so hard on him.”

Kun shook his head, half-smiling, feeling a little hurt though he didn’t know why. “You’ll always take his side,” he said quietly.

Leo looked at him quickly, eyes careful. “He’s my teammate. He’s like a brother to me.”

Kun met his gaze and understood what Leo was trying to say. He flushed. “I—I know.”

Leo kept jogging, keeping silent. Then he said carefully, “I feel protective of him.”

Kun nodded, feeling at a loss for words. Neymar’s relationship with Leo had begun to bother him somewhat, although he didn’t know why. It was just that Neymar seemed so openly in awe of Leo and Leo’s affectionate manner towards him was a little surprising for Kun. Leo was so reserved—he was like that with very few people.

Kun, for example.

But they’d had a friendship for years. A decade-long one. And they’d been best friends since forever. Kun hated it, but Neymar’s relationship with Leo had progressed so fast in the space of a couple of a years, it was almost astonishing.

“We’re together every day, Kun,” Leo said, stopping and shading his eyes. It was like he’d read Kun’s mind. “We’ll obviously be close.”

Kun kept nodding, feeling petty. He couldn’t help how he felt, but he also knew it wasn’t fair to Leo. He avoided Leo’s eyes. Unable to help himself, hating himself, he blurted, “He said you were his best friend.” Kun winced.

Leo was quiet for so long that finally Kun peeked at him. Leo was smiling. “He said that, I didn’t say that,” Leo said softly.

Blushing, Kun looked down. “What does that mean?”

“You’re my best friend, Kun. I love Ney. But I love you more. You know that.”

Kun felt pleasure surge through him at that, but he felt compelled to be grumpy. “Why do you have to love him anyway?”

Leo laughed. He started jogging again and Kun joined him.

Leo ended up outdribbling and outscoring Kun. And, as punishment, Kun wrestled him to the ground and sat on him.

* * *

That night, after dinner, they played FIFA together. Leo had climbed into Kun’s bed again, but this time he kept a decent distance between them. Kun was running so hot for Leo that he got half-hard anyway, but he was still able to keep an eye on their game.

He thoroughly beat Leo during their first game, 5-0. He usually lost and was surprised by how he had thrashed Leo. Kun couldn’t help crowing about this, jumping out of bed and dancing in front of the TV. Leo hated to lose, but he somehow seemed to take it well, leaning back on his elbows and laughing.

“Rematch!”

Kun agreed and got back into bed. He scored a goal absurdly easily almost as soon as the match started. And that’s when he became suspicious. How could Leo have gotten so bad so quickly?

Kun purposely played a little badly, allowing Leo plenty of opportunities to get past him and score, but somehow Leo kept fumbling and shooting wide. When Leo somehow managed to pass to one of Kun’s teammates, Kun knew.

Eyes wide, he paused the game and turned to Leo. “Why’re you letting me win?”

Leo was already laughing. “I’m not! I’m just bad.”

Kun pushed him hard, laughing too, punching Leo lightly in the stomach. “No, you’re not! You’re doing this on purpose! What’re you trying to get out of me, Messi?”

Leo couldn’t breathe, laughing too hard, and let Kun manhandle him a little in punishment. The gentle wrestling meant that they had ended up sitting a little closer than before. Leo’s warm thigh next to him made Kun so uncomfortable, he shifted away. Leo noticed and sobered.

“Why do you do that?”

Kun pretended not to understand. “What do you mean?”

Leo stared at Kun, then holding Kun’s gaze, he deliberately shifted closer, laying his thigh near Kun’s. He raised his chin at Kun, almost defiantly. Kun swallowed, looking away.

“I—I’ll get some water.”

Leo let him go, let him get some water and come back. And when Kun climbed back into bed, he made sure to sit away from Leo. Kun went to restart the game, but Leo held his wrist.

“Why, Kun?” Leo’s voice was low, gravelly.

Kun hesitated, not looking at Leo. “You know why,” he finally said quietly.

“Every single time we touch?”

Kun shook his head. “No. But in bed. Next to me. It makes it harder for me to control… my body.”

“Why’re you trying to control it?”

Kun snapped his head up, looking at Leo in shock. “What—what do you mean?”

“I’m a guy too. I know how it works. You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Leo said lightly.

Kun shook his head. “Well, it’s different for us. You’d understand if the situations were reversed.”

Leo laughed. “Maybe once in a while you should look at my crotch too.” Kun peeked at that, but the sheets were covering Leo’s lap. He glanced up at Leo, puzzled.

Leo was smiling. “It happens to me too.”

“Well, yeah, but I meant that it’s embarrassing when it happens _because_ of the person sitting next to you in bed,” Kun mumbled.

Leo grinned. “You moron. I meant that too.”

Kun froze, staring at Leo. “What?” he breathed.

Leo raised his eyebrows, his expression mischievous. “What did you think? I kissed you because I _wasn’t_ attracted to you?”

Kun was speechless. But his cheeks were getting redder and redder. “I—” But that was all he could get out.

Leo laughed. He inched closer, so that his thigh pressed against Kun’s. They were close now. Kun’s heart was pounding. “I’m attracted to you, Kun. I’m just figuring out the rest of it,” Leo said, his voice very low.

But Kun couldn’t get past erections. “So you get turned on… because of _me_?”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Yes. Plenty of times.”

“Because of _me_?”

Leo laughed. “What, you need proof or something?”

“Yes,” Kun blurted, his eyes wide. Then he blushed, realizing what he’d said. He shook his head quickly. “Sorry.”

Leo smiled slowly, his eyes warm, intent. “I’ll prove it to you soon.”

Kun looked down. He felt he was going to explode. He didn’t know how to handle this Leo—this flirty, teasing, sexual Leo. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Leo leaning close and he tensed, still looking at his lap.

Leo’s mouth was brushing Kun’s ear and he shivered. “Don’t you trust me, Kun?” he whispered, his lips moving against Kun’s skin as he spoke.

Kun couldn’t get a single word out. He just closed his eyes. He could feel Leo smiling against his ear. “Kun?”

Leo whispering his name was so erotic that he moaned. His hand came up between their bodies, pressing lightly against Leo’s chest. Leo came even closer, one of his hands coming up to rest on Kun’s back, the other on Kun’s thigh. His chuckle rumbled into Kun’s ear.

“Look at me, Kun. Turn your head,” Leo whispered.

Kun shook his head, overwhelmed. They were in _bed_ , for God’s sake. This was too much. He was on the edge already.

Leo kissed Kun’s ear lightly. “Please, baby.”

The endearment rocked Kun. He turned his head and looked at Leo then. Leo’s pupils were dilated and his cheeks were flushed and for the first time Kun truly understood that Leo was attracted to him too. It so overwhelmed Kun that he felt emotion flooding through him and, suddenly, tears were in his eyes.

“What? Why are you crying?”

Kun’s vision was blurred because of the tears, but he could feel Leo peppering his face with kisses, worried. Kun shook his head, tears falling freely now. “I’m sorry. It’s just… I never thought—”

“What? Please, tell me.”

Kun struggled to calm himself. “I never thought we’d be like this.”

Leo was silent. Then, he started to kiss Kun, his mouth soft and tasting of Kun’s tears. Kun kissed him back hard, suddenly desperate for Leo’s touch. He pressed himself against Leo, whimpering a little, his fingers fisting in Leo’s shirt.

Leo disengaged gently, hands coming up to grasp Kun’s. Kun half-sobbed, not wanting to stop. “Sssh,” Leo said, removing Kun’s hands. He touched tiny kisses on the corner of Kun’s mouth, pressing him down until Kun was lying on his back.

Kun was restless, shifting, reaching for Leo. Leo leaned over him, kissing his mouth, tongue playing with Kun’s. Kun pulled Leo hard against him, desperate for more of him, more of his touch, more of his kiss.

Leo let himself be pulled until he was half lying on Kun. Kun’s hands were fisted hard at Leo’s sides, knuckles white. Leo kept kissing Kun, biting gently on Kun’s lower lip until Kun bucked up into Leo. Leo sucked the bruised lip into his mouth, soothing it with his tongue.

Kun moaned. He wanted Leo so much he felt he would die if he couldn’t have him now. Leo’s hands were drifting, slipping gently under Kun’s shirt, cool against his burning skin. Kun wrapped his arms around Leo’s neck and, this time, Leo gave in, lying almost completely on Kun.

Kun gasped at this, feeling Leo’s erection on his hip. The knowledge was so fiercely pleasurable, his own cock lurched hard against Leo. Leo felt it and spread Kun’s legs, pressing his thigh firmly against Kun’s bulge. Kun moaned, arching his back and breaking the kiss.

“Leo, please, please,” he sobbed.

Leo murmured nonsense words into Kun’s temple, shushing him slowly. Kun knew Leo was just as aroused as he was, but he seemed to have tremendous self-control and showed it by gently grinding his thigh against Kun.

Kun bucked up again, humping hard against Leo’s thigh, rhythmically. He was moaning continuously now, chanting Leo’s name over and over, his eyes closed in pleasure. He was getting so close now. He opened his eyes, needing Leo’s mouth over his as he came.

Leo seemed to understand and his eyes, fierce, burning, met Kun’s. Then Leo kissed Kun hard, his tongue so good in Kun’s mouth that it sent him over the edge. He cried into Leo’s mouth as he came, eyes squeezed shut, bucking up into Leo’s thigh.

Leo kept kissing him through the afterglow, but embarrassment was flooding Kun now—embarrassment and guilt that Leo was still hard and pulsing against Kun’s hip.

Kun broke the kiss, cheeks flushed. “Are you—you didn’t—” He broke off, feeling shy and drowsy all at once.

Leo smiled, though his eyes were glittering and his cheeks were red. “It’s okay. Are you okay?”

Kun nodded, throat sticking with embarrassment. Leo kissed him slowly, gently. It was sweet and Kun felt a rush of emotion. But Leo was still so hard so Kun pushed him back. “I can—I can help—”

Leo shook his head. “No, I want you to sleep. I’ll go to the bathroom.”

Kun would have argued, but there was something in Leo’s face that stopped him. He nodded, knowing that he _was_ very sleepy, his lids heavy with the afterglow of that incredible orgasm. Leo kissed him quickly and rolled off.

Kun wanted to protest, but through his drooping lids, he could see Leo walking quickly to the bathroom. And, with that, Kun slid into heavy, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, finally poor Kun gets some relief. ;) Sorry this chapter took so long. My relatives came over and I've been terribly busy. My cousins keep climbing onto my lap when I try to write and this is definitely not suitable for younger audiences! ;) Hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm a little apprehensive about this chapter so I hope it goes over well with you guys. Enjoy!

** Chapter 10 **

Kun woke up with a start, heart pounding. For a second, he didn’t know why he felt so anxious and then remembered his… _encounter_ with Leo last night. He turned red immediately and threw off the covers. He walked quickly to the bathroom, hoping a shower would cool his mind, avoiding looking at Leo’s bed.

But this time, the water beating down only seemed to further stress him out. _What_ was happening between them? Were they friends with benefits now?

He loved Leo completely, totally, unconditionally.

But he was getting mentally wrecked a little. He had come here to concentrate on Argentina and the Copa and this was _too_ much. He didn’t need the distraction.

He rested his head briefly against the shower wall, cool under his burning skin. He wished suddenly, tiredly, that he had never told Masche.

Their friendship had been perfect. And it was getting complicated. Who was he kidding? What was the guarantee that Leo would ever love him back? What was the guarantee that, even if they started dating, it would work out?

And how would he handle _that_ breakup?

He shook his head, fear suddenly overwhelming him. He couldn’t take it, couldn’t. _Wouldn’t_. Leo was too important to him. He didn’t want the romance, the sex, the _other_ stuff. He just wanted them back to two weeks ago. He wanted their simple friendship. He could handle unrequited love—he’d done so for years, hadn’t he?

This was worse. This doubt, this anxiety, the possibility of losing everything was ten thousand times worse than never being loved back.

Kun had always been scared of losing Leo, but losing Leo after he was loved by him would be devastating. He didn’t have it in him. He wouldn’t survive that, he _couldn’t_. And he knew that, no matter what, long distance relationships didn’t work out.

How much could Skyping make up for it? How could they do it when Leo had so many commitments and Kun too?

He was panicking now. He breathed hard, trying to calm himself. But the thoughts were buzzing around his head. He felt frightened and claustrophobic and trapped.

He had to back out. He had to. There was no other option, was there?

He’d have to tell Leo.

He groaned, rubbing his forehead. How the _fuck_ was he going to explain it? He knew Leo was starting to get involved too and he didn’t want to hurt him. Admittedly, Leo was new to this and would recover quicker, better. But he had to stop it before it got too far.

But what about the Copa?

Would he fuck Leo up if he broke it off now? Would Leo’s performances be affected?

_Fuck_.

He needed some air. He was feeling overwhelmed and he could feel something like a panic attack coming over him. He’d never experienced one before, but the amount of anxiety in his chest seemed remarkably like one.

He turned the water off abruptly. He hadn’t washed his hair, but he didn’t care. Quickly, he toweled himself dry. Praying that Leo was still asleep, he brushed his teeth quickly and slipped out of the bathroom noiselessly.

Leo was still snoring lightly. Kun dressed swiftly. He put on a baseball cap and pulled up his hood so hopefully no one would recognize him.

He left the hotel room almost in a run, terrified that Leo would wake up and stop him. His heart was pounding so hard that there were spots in his vision.

Hands shaking, he texted Leo:

_I went for a walk. Be back soon._

* * *

No one recognized him and Kun was thankful for it. The sunglasses probably helped, plus he’d snuck out of the back entrance. He walked around the city rapidly, his mind racing, his hands jammed into his jean pockets.

The morning air was cold and sharp, but it made Kun feel better. He walked for a long time aimlessly, until he came to a park and started watching the morning joggers. The rhythmic movements were calming and he tried to focus on them and not Leo.

It was then that his phone buzzed.

Heart thudding, he pulled it out of his pocket.

_Where are you? Why did you go for a walk now? Are you okay?_

He jammed the phone back into his pocket, feeling suddenly like he was being strangled. He was so _afraid_. He didn’t know how to handle this or who to talk to.

He could have talked to Masche, but what happened between them should stay between them. He didn’t want anyone else to know and he knew Leo was as private as he was.

His phone vibrated again.

_Kun, please tell me where you are. You’re freaking me out._

Kun’s fingers were trembling, but he texted quickly back.

_I’m okay. I’ll be back soon._

He knew Leo wouldn’t let that go and waited, perching on a bench in the park. He stared at his phone. Sure enough, Leo’s face popped up on his screen—he was calling.

Hesitantly, Kun pressed the red button, declining the call.

_I’m on my way back. I’m fine. Talk to you later_.

Leo didn’t text for a long time, but then finally he sent a message back.

_Okay. Love you. Tc._

Kun’s eyes filled and he swallowed fiercely. All he needed was paparazzi to snap a picture of him crying on a park bench by himself in the dead of morning. They could still be around.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He needed to calm down. He needed to approach this rationally.

He had to go and talk to Leo. He glanced at his watch. They had two hours left until training and that was enough time.

He prayed quickly, briefly.

He just didn’t want to lose Leo.

* * *

He hailed a taxi back to the hotel and signed an autograph for the driver who recognized him immediately. He joked that he liked walking in the morning and the guy seemed to buy it. He paid him quickly and slipped inside through the back entrance of the hotel, thankful that no one had seemed to see him.

By the time he reached their room, he was sweating, palms damp and heart racing. He took a deep breath and slid his card through the slot, the room door clicking open.

He pushed it open only to find Leo right at the threshold.

“Where _were_ you?” Leo said, eyes wide, reaching out to touch Kun.

Kun flinched, recoiling from his outstretched hand. Leo froze, staring at Kun, then dropped his hand. His face went blank and immediately, he backed up.

Kun looked down, closing the door behind him. He leaned on the door and then finally took a deep breath, meeting Leo’s eyes.

“Can we talk?”

Leo’s eyes were so shuttered, Kun felt frightened. He’d never seen Leo shut himself off so much from him, but perhaps that was the best.

He had to believe this was going to work out, had to believe that they would be okay. Because, if not, he was going to break down.

Leo nodded. He turned around and moved back into the room. He sat down on his own bed and waited until Kun sat too. There was a stillness about Leo that paradoxically seemed to indicate how explosive his mood was.

Kun looked down, wondering how to start. Finally, he blurted, “I think we should go back to before.”

Leo was quiet so Kun looked up at him. His expression was impassive. He simply looked at Kun. There was a long tense silence until Leo said carefully, “Before what?”

Kun couldn’t say it. “I want to go back to us being just friends.”

Leo dropped his head. He seemed very relaxed until Kun noticed how white his knuckles were. “Leo—”

“Why?” Leo’s voice was so low, it was vibrating against Kun’s skin.

Kun swallowed. “I can’t take it if something goes wrong,” he said hoarsely.

Leo raised his head. His eyes were hard. “Like?”

“I don’t want our friendship to get fucked up by this. There’s no guarantee to anything.” Kun waved his hand between their bodies and felt a huge sense of loss threatening to swallow him whole.

Leo laughed harshly, his face tense. “Oh, so based on something that might or might not happen, you’re saying no?”

Kun flinched. “Leo, please—”

“Did you honestly think I was just going to accept your decision and walk away?” Leo hissed, fury etched in every line on his face, in every angle of his body.

Kun was stunned. “No, I meant—I’m not comfortable with this anymore, Leo!” he said, voice rising.

“Why? Is it easier to take no risks? Is it easier to tell me to fuck off?”

“Of course not!” Kun snapped. “But this is a two-way street—”

“Is it? I don’t remember being asked for my opinion?” Leo taunted. His voice was so cruel that Kun felt bewildered and hurt. “You are _selfish_ , Kun.”

Kun’s jaw dropped at that. “How am I selfish when I’ve been in love with you for years and never asked you for anything back?” he cried, his hands balling into fists.

“Because you were _scared_! And that’s what you’re doing now too!” Leo was so angry, his voice was shaking. “Well, screw you. You can’t do this to me. You think it’s fun to find out that you love me and then two weeks later that you want nothing to do with me?”

That stung. “I’m not saying that! I just want to be friends. You can’t force me into anything!”

Leo went very still. “Forcing you?” he whispered, his expression stricken. “Fine. I won’t… _force_ you into anything. I will leave you the fuck alone.”

“That’s _not_ what I meant!”

Leo raised his hands. “Sorry. I’ll be your roommate, teammate, best friend, and nothing more. That’s good, right?” Leo’s expression was calm, but Kun swallowed. Leo was so upset Kun could feel it from here and he felt terrible.

Why did he suddenly feel as if he was making a big mistake?

“Yes. Just like before,” Kun said quietly.

Leo nodded. He rubbed his face with one hand, looking exhausted. He stood abruptly. “I’m going to take a shower.” And without another word, he grabbed a towel from the hotel closet and disappeared into the bathroom.

Kun fell back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He felt numb inside. He wondered suddenly if his impulsive decision had been a foolish one. He cried then, tears rolling into his hair.

By the time Leo came out again, Kun had rolled onto his side, facing the opposite direction. He could hear Leo padding in. There was still more than an hour left before they had to go to breakfast and Kun wondered how he could handle much more of this tense silence.

“I’m starving.”

Kun looked over his shoulder, surprised. Leo was smiling at him ruefully. He was shirtless, skin damp and pale. Kun rolled onto his back, but looked away. “Me too,” he said. If Leo was going to try, he would too.

“I always feel hungry these days.”

Kun nodded. He felt miserable. He didn’t know how Leo was talking, but maybe Leo was secretly relieved? Maybe this had been what he’d wanted all along.

The thought made Kun feel even more depressed. He closed his eyes and wished he was anywhere else, far away. Away from this mess.

He could feel his bed dipping and his eyes snapped open. Leo was sitting on his bed, wearing only a towel, hair wet. His expression was very tender.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I don’t think you’re selfish. If you want us to be friends, then—I’ll do that for you.”

Hearing it from Leo somehow made it worse. Kun felt hollow and horrified. Did that mean no more kisses from Leo? No more touches? He wished suddenly that they could have had sex. Just one night.

But he was so afraid. Of losing Leo. The fear was perhaps irrational, but it was so strong in Kun, it seemed to eclipse everything else he wanted.

Kun said nothing, just looked at him, his eyes pleading, but he didn't know for what. Leo leaned forward. “Tell me what you’re afraid of.”

“You,” Kun said softly.

“Why me?”

“I’m afraid we’ll break up.”

Leo sighed a little. “Even if we do, why is that scary? I won’t walk out of your life.”

Kun took a deep shuddering sigh. “I don’t know how I could survive it if you broke up with me and stopped talking to me.”

Leo smiled a little. “I would never stop talking to you. _Never_. You’ll  be old and tottering around with your cane and I’ll still be chasing you with my walker.”

Something was loosening in Kun’s chest. Something hard and scary. “But what if I make you mad?”

Leo’s eyes were very warm. “You make me mad a hundred times a day. And you’ve been doing that for years and years. I haven’t left yet, have I?”

“But it’s different when we’re in a relationship.”

“I know. But I love you so much, Kun. How could I ever leave you?”

The words were akin to ice on a burn. It was so soothing Kun felt himself swallowing hard. He was still panicking, but at least he could breathe now. “And what about the long distance?”

“We can fly to see each other. We can Skype. We can text. We can call.”

“But it won’t be the same.”

Leo laughed softly. “I feel like you’ve got an answer to everything.” He sobered. “I’m not saying it’d be a walk in the park. But I want you, Kun.”

Kun’s breath caught in his chest. He closed his eyes. “Again,” he whispered.

“I want you, Kun.”

Kun opened his eyes and looked at Leo. Leo was looking at him seriously, eyes dark and intense. Kun reached out and touched Leo’s arm, pulling him gently. “Again.”

Leo came willingly, one hand on his towel while the other maintained his balance. He scooted up right next to Kun, his hip against Kun’s, his hand bracing himself on Kun’s other side. “I want you, baby. I want you so much.”

“Again.” Kun was still pulling on Leo’s arms, wanting to feel his touch.

Leo leaned forward, resting most of his body on Kun’s, their lips almost touching. “I want you. I want you. I want you.”

“Again.”

This time, Leo spoke the words directly into Kun’s mouth, lips brushing softly, gently. “I want you.”

Kun shivered and wrapped his arms around Leo’s neck. Leo buried his face in Kun’s neck, hugging him back hard. They were quiet for a long time, just embracing. Then Leo pulled back, his hand going back to his towel. It was coming a little loose and he reddened.

Kun plucked at Leo, trying to make him lie down again. He felt scared when Leo wasn’t touching him.

“Let me just put on some shorts.”

Kun shook his head, but Leo laughed. “It’ll just take one second. I’ll be back.” He kissed Kun’s palm quickly and scrambled off the bed.

Kun propped himself up on his elbows, staring unashamedly. Leo flushed, took his shorts and went into the bathroom. Kun sighed, but leaned back. Leo came back, wearing a T-shirt and shorts and climbed back into bed, sitting next to Kun.

Kun picked at Leo’s shirt. “You said you were only going to wear shorts.”

“Well. We’ll talk first, then I’ll take it off,” Leo said wickedly, leaning forward to kiss Kun gently. He tugged on Kun’s hands after breaking the kiss. “Sit up.”

Kun sat, propping a pillow behind him. Leo sat cross-legged in front of him, both of them close. Leo took his hand, rubbing it slowly between his fingers.

“Tell me why you’re so afraid that I’ll leave you. Don’t you trust me?”

Kun nodded. “I do. I just—I can’t believe that you could stay with someone like me.”

Leo shook his head. “Well, next time, come and talk to me, okay? Don’t make rash decisions. Just wake me up and we’ll talk. And I’ll convince you.” There was a mischievous glint in Leo’s eyes that made Kun smile for the first time that day.

Kun felt a little foolish now. “I’m sorry. I—I just freaked out. I had a panic attack.”

“I know. And that’s okay. But next time, you have to talk to me. You can’t shut me out like that.”

Kun nodded. Leo crept a little closer. “And what do you mean someone like you?”

Kun looked at Leo, so close that Kun could see every beautiful eyelash. Kun’s heart began to beat a little faster. “I don’t know.”

“Kun, you are so incredible. Do you have any idea what a wonderful person you are? You’re warm and funny and affectionate. Everyone loves you. You’re always the life of the party. Look at me. All I can do is football. But you’re amazing in every way, even football.”

Leo was leaning very close now. “And do you know how sexy you are?”

Kun’s mouth went very dry. “I think about your body and it makes me ache. You make me so hard.” Leo’s hand was on Kun’s stomach now, flat and pressing. “You don’t know how much I want to fuck you.”

Involuntarily, a moan escaped Kun, but he was saved from the embarrassment by Leo kissing him hard. Kun pressed his body against Leo’s, aching for him. Leo broke the kiss, gasping, and leaned against the headboard, stretching his legs out.

“Come here.”

Kun immediately straddled him, kissing him fiercely. Leo’s hands were on Kun’s ass now, squeezing, pulling him against his crotch. Their cocks rubbed together through the material and Kun moaned, grinding against Leo.

Leo slipped his hands under Kun’s shirt, rubbing against Kun’s burning skin. His fingers were splayed widely like he couldn’t get enough. Kun leaned back, breaking the kiss, and removed his shirt quickly.

He reached for Leo’s. They quickly discarded Leo’s shirt too and their mouths were back on each other, desperate, hot. Kun kept rocking on Leo’s lap, rubbing their crotches together. It felt so good and Leo was so _hard_.

He wanted to have Leo’s cock in his mouth _now_ and he reached for Leo’s shorts. But Leo grabbed his hands, pulling it behind his back. Kun whined in his mouth, biting Leo’s lip in punishment. Leo chuckled against Kun’s lips, slowing their kisses a little.

Kun wondered where Leo had gotten all this patience from. Didn’t the man want some release? How could he control himself like this?

He tried to deepen the kiss, but Leo kept the kisses frustratingly light, purposely teasing Kun. Kun rocked hard against Leo, trying desperately to make Leo lose his cool.

But Leo was calm as ever, one hand coming up to play with Kun’s nipples. Kun arched a little, still maintaining the kiss. “Mm,” he keened into Leo’s mouth, harder than ever.

The pleasure was pumping through Kun’s veins, but he was determined not to come in his shorts again like a horny teenager. He forced himself to slow down a little, but his skin was burning and he was so desperate for Leo that he couldn’t help himself from bucking hard.

Leo broke the kiss, breathing hard. He kissed the side of Kun’s neck and Kun leaned his head back to give him access. Leo sucked hard there and then blew on it softly, making Kun moan his name. Leo’s fingers slid down Kun’s abs, even as his mouth was making its way down Kun’s chest.

He licked Kun’s nipples slowly, teasingly, distracting Kun from the hand that was moving even lower towards Kun’s crotch. Kun whimpered, his hands still held behind his back by Leo’s left hand. He struggled a little and Leo let him go.

Immediately, Kun slid his hands into Leo’s hair, arching against Leo’s mouth. He felt like he was burning everywhere, his skin hot and his cock aching, leaking.

Leo’s hand—the sneaky one—was somehow slipping into Kun’s shorts. Kun moaned, pulling Leo’s head up, desperate to kiss him. He must have pulled a little hard because Leo flinched a little, but didn’t complain as Kun kissed him hungrily, sliding his tongue in Leo’s mouth.

Leo sucked his lower lip, taking it between his teeth and biting gently. His hand had found Kun’s cock and he wrapped his hand around it. It was hot and hard under his palm. Kun was gasping against his lips now. Leo very slowly stroked it, dragging the skin.

Kun writhed, feeling like he was going mad. “Again,” he said on a shuddering breath.

“I want you, Kun,” Leo said in a low voice, against Kun’s mouth.

It made Kun harder and he kissed Leo sloppily, all tongues and teeth. Leo’s hand was maddeningly slow and Kun was moaning and arching up in Leo’s hands. “Please, please.”

Leo broke the kiss and took out Kun’s cock. Kun could feel Leo’s own bulge pulsing hard on his thigh as Leo looked down at Kun’s cock. The sight of Leo looking at him, red, leaking, hard was so erotic Kun moaned in pleasure.

Leo looked up at the sound, kissing Kun hard. He was grinding against Kun now, his hand firm and stroking Kun. Kun was gasping and sighing. “Fuck, Leo, _fuck_.”

He couldn’t breathe and he pushed Leo’s head away. He closed his eyes and bit his lip. Leo’s hand was so _good_ , dragging Kun’s skin back and forth. “Fuck, Leo, I love you, fuck.”

He blabbed on and on, on the verge of coming as Leo, instead of speeding up, slowed down. Kun whimpered at this, his eyes opening. “ _Please_.”

Leo stopped his hand and pulled Kun down to kiss him again. Leo was panting too now. He was grinding his crotch firmly against Kun’s thigh and he was flushed. Kun sobbed against his mouth. “You bastard. Please, please.”

Then Leo started again, but this time, his hand moved like lightning, stroking hard and fast. Kun cried out loud at the sudden pleasure, Leo’s tongue in his mouth.

Leo pulled back a little and whispered, “I want you.”

And Kun _came_. It felt like he wouldn’t stop coming, his cock pulsing and throbbing. He shot over Leo’s chest and hand. Leo’s hand was still moving, slowing now as he reached up to kiss Kun again.

Kun moaned and kissed Leo, feeling the aftershocks everywhere. Finally, he reached down and held Leo’s wrist. “Stop. It’s too much.”

Leo pulled him close, kissing him, calming him down. Kun was shaking, almost weak. “Sssh,” Leo whispered.

Kun could feel Leo throbbing against his thigh and this time, he pushed back, determined to take care of him. He reached for Leo’s crotch, but Leo caught his hand. “No, Kun. Not yet.”

Kun frowned. “Why?”

“I’m not ready. I need some time.”

Kun clambered off, feeling cold. He realized his cock was still out and he flushed, pulling a tissue quickly from the nightstand. He handed one to Leo before grabbing one for himself, wiping himself quickly and tucking his cock back in his shorts.

“Why aren’t you ready?”

Leo smiled. “It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you. But I’ve never had sex with a guy. It’s hard to wrap my brain around. I just need a little time.”

Kun nodded, still feeling a little odd. Leo leaned across and kissed Kun quickly. “Stop overthinking.”

That made Kun laugh. “Okay,” he said, grinning, kissing Leo back.

Leo pulled back after a little while. “We have to get ready.”

Kun groaned, pressing into Leo. “No, please. We’ll skip it.”

Leo laughed, knowing Kun wasn’t serious. “I’ll go take a shower, okay? Then we’ll go to breakfast.”

Then with Kun grumbling and pouting, Leo kissed Kun lightly and went into the shower.

Kun fell back on the bed and felt a lightness spread through his body and realized it was joy. He hadn’t been this happy in a long _long_ time.

Smiling, he went to put on his training clothes and knew it was going to be a good day.

A _very_ good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! ;)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Sorry this took longer than expected. It was actually mostly done a couple days ago but I was lazy and worrying about it. Anyway, it's a bit short, but enjoy!

Training was probably the most fun Kun had had in a long time. He was fully aware it was because he was giddy about Leo and it was making him find everything and anything hilarious. He spent half the training laughing in joy and the other playing football with the kind of enthusiasm he usually reserved for matches.

Tata was pleased at both his hard work and that his playful mood was rubbing off on everyone else, relaxing everyone’s stretched nerves and generally promoting a feeling of well-being. Leo was quiet as always, though he smiled often and winked at Kun whenever their eyes met.

Kun found that both highly distracting and disorienting so he avoided Leo, preferring to warm up next to Pocho and generally keep him company. Pocho seemed pleased with this arrangement and when Kun scored a goal, they danced, celebrating just a little more than usual just to annoy everyone else.

Masche, hands on hips, shook his head at them, smiling.

But Kun’s mood couldn’t be deflated. He knew Leo was often watching him, his eyes warm, but Kun didn’t care. Well, he _did_ , but he forced himself not to look too much at Leo. That seemed futile, though, because they always seemed to end up next to each other, fingers brushing, thighs touching as Leo passed him.

Once, Kun was frowning and listening to Tata’s tactics, and when he backed up, still deep in thought, he bumped right into Leo. Surprised—hadn’t Leo been on the _other_ side of the huddle?—he flushed deeply and hurried off, ignoring Leo’s chuckle.

He figured out only later that Leo was doing it on purpose, whether to tease Kun or because he was flirting with him. It only made Kun giddier and his mood kept climbing, and even when Masche tackled him so hard that he sprawled on the ground, he only laughed, half-groaning in pain.

It was Leo who came over to pull him up, leaning over him. The position was so reminiscent of last night that Kun blushed like a beet and smacked Leo’s calf, knowing he was doing it on purpose. Leo’s eyes were wicked and he grinned, hands tugging Kun’s, deftly hoisting him to his feet.

Leo didn’t retreat as Kun bounced up so that Kun ended up standing very close to Leo. Leo smirked, his eyes lingering on Kun’s mouth.

Kun froze for only a second before quickly jogging away, head whirling. He had to physically wipe a silly smile from his face with his hand, afraid everyone would see and realize that he was just a little _too_ happy today.

He glanced at Leo and saw that he was impassive, but that his eyes were dancing with mischief. Kun huffed and looked away, but his stomach flipped and he had to again stop himself from smiling.

When they went back to the lockers, Kun skipped ahead, determined not to have to deal with Leo’s shirtless chest. He rushed quickly to the showers before any of his teammates had even entered the locker room.

He didn’t linger in the shower like he usually did, thinking to change before Leo finished showering so that he wouldn’t have to deal with those stupid knowing eyes. But he was astonished to find Leo sitting on the bench, showered and dressed, smiling triumphantly at Kun.

“ _How_?”

Leo laughed. “Serves you right. I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t gone running into the showers.” His voice was low.

Everyone had disappeared into the showers and although they could come out any time, Kun and Leo were temporarily alone. Kun felt his cheeks reddening and he raised his chin, shaking his head at Leo.

“I didn’t _run_. I was lightly jogging to cool down,” Kun grumbled, walking to his locker, heart beating a little faster.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Leo standing up. He could feel him walking up to Kun’s back. Kun’s hands shook a little, but he tried to act like he didn’t know—and didn’t _care_.

“It seems like you aren’t cooled down at all,” Leo said right behind him, his voice full of laughter.

Kun looked over his shoulder and immediately regretted it. Leo was so _close_. His hair was still damp and he smelled of that familiar shampoo and soap. Kun had come to associate it with Leo to such an extent that he sometimes got hard when he smelled it.

He forgot everything he was going to say at the sight of Leo, smiling, dimpling at Kun.

He looked back into his locker, head whirling. Leo was laughing softly and the sound galvanized Kun into action, forcing him to try and retain some semblance of pride. “I’m cool. I’ve always been cool. Speak for yourself.”

It wasn’t the best of retorts, admittedly, but at least he’d said something somewhat relevant to the discussion at hand.

He’d take what he could get, thank you very much.

“Lucky you. Because I’m definitely feeling very hot right now.” And with that line—lifted straight from a porn movie, Kun was sure—Leo pressed himself into Kun’s bottom.

Kun gasped. Leo was very hard, very big and he was rubbing himself into Kun’s bottom. Kun closed his eyes in shock, grasping the wall of lockers in front of him and leaning his forehead against the inside of his locker door.

“Leo,” he whispered. He had gone from 0-100 in terms of a hard-on and his cock twitched at Leo still rubbing himself in slow circles on Kun’s bottom.

“You’ve got such a sexy ass, did you know that?” Leo said in a low voice, his hand coming up to squeeze the aforementioned part.

Kun jumped and whirled around. “Leo,” he said shakily. “We’re in the locker room.”

Leo’s eyes were dark and hot. He glanced quickly around. “They all just went into the showers.” He was leaning closer as he spoke, pressing himself fully into Kun. Kun swallowed a moan as Leo’s cock pushed against his. “We have a couple of minutes.”

It was so mesmerizing, Leo’s eyes, Leo’s breaths mingling with Kun’s, his lips just inches away, their cocks pulsing together. Unable to stop himself, he fisted his fingers in Leo’s shirt and kissed him hard, unable to muffle a moan.

Leo whispered a _sssh_ but didn’t take his lips off of Kun’s. The kiss was hot, erotic, Leo’s tongue tangling hard with Kun’s. Kun rubbed himself against Leo, desperate suddenly, wishing they were back in their bedroom, but Leo pushed him gently against the locker, holding his hips still.

“Not here,” Leo said against his mouth. “Just kissing. That’s all.”

But that made Kun even harder, even more desperate. His hands had slid into Leo’s hair and were pulling not-so-gently. But Leo didn’t complain, only tilted his head, allowing Kun more access to his mouth, the kiss sloppy and rough.

They could only kiss for a minute more before Leo heard footsteps. He sprang away immediately, but realized that Kun was frozen and disoriented. Leo physically turned him, making him face the locker and whispered, “Act normal!”

He sat down immediately on the bench, arranging a towel over his lap.

Most of Kun’s erection was fading anyway because of the interruption, but he still felt woozy and it took a giant effort to smile at Rojo as he came from the showers in a towel. Kun changed in a daze, feeling flushed and avoiding Leo’s eyes.

Leo was browsing his phone, a slight smile playing on his lips but otherwise behaving perfectly normally.

Kun didn’t remember much of the bus ride home, but he made sure to sit with Pocho and not Leo.

Leo seemed to find this funny and grinned at Kun on his way to a seat next to Angel’s. Kun pointedly ignored him.

His crotch needed the rest, thank you very much.

* * *

Leo was surprisingly well-behaved most of the rest of the day. He didn’t sit next to Kun during lunch and didn’t grin or wink at him from afar. He didn’t invade Kun’s personal space, talked about normal, mundane things and stayed on his own bed when they trooped back from lunch.

He then proceeded to fall asleep with his shirt off, splayed across his bed, halfway through a conversation with Kun.

Kun cursed him. It was completely unfair that Leo could have so much self-control. Here Kun was freaking out pretty much the whole day, his head still spinning from both their morning and locker room _encounters_ and Leo was snoring the afternoon away.

Irritated, Kun turned on the TV. He put on a comedy and tried to distract himself by lying down on his side, facing away from Leo that his eyes wouldn’t keep straying over to that side. Luckily, the TV was directly in front of his bed and this made it easier.

It worked somewhat, but he ended up falling asleep too and when he woke up, the room was dark. Yawning and stretching, he rolled onto his back and saw Leo was awake too, looking through his phone.

Leo glanced at him and smiled absently. “Hi.”

Kun wasn’t ready to talk yet. “Mm.”

That made Leo grin. But he seemed very interested in his phone and didn’t comment. Kun watched him for a few minutes then felt irrationally irritated again.

He knew he was behaving with very little sense, but he both wanted and didn’t want Leo to be flirting with him. Mostly wanted. And he wished Leo would just read his mind and behave accordingly.

Sighing inwardly at himself, he made his way to the bathroom. When he came back, mouth minty fresh from mouthwash—it had occurred to him to be prepared at all times for a kiss—Leo was still glued to his phone.

Kun considered the hotel room windows and wondered if he could open it to chuck Leo’s phone out. He amused himself with dark thoughts of unfortunate accidents that would damage Leo’s phone when Leo asked, “Why’re you smiling like that?”

Kun realized he was standing in the middle of the room, staring at the window and grinning. He started laughing and went to his own bed. He smiled toothily at Leo’s amused puzzlement. “Just daydreaming.”

“You get weirder everyday.”

Kun threw a pillow at Leo’s head. “Have some respect.”

“I was thinking—”

“Mm?” Kun opened the bottled water next to his bed, drinking water thirstily.

“We should talk about sex.”

Kun spluttered so hard, he almost choked. Gasping, he said, “Excuse me?”

Leo was laughing. “Sex.”

Kun took a deep breath. “You want to talk about sex? Generally? Or…?” He fought to stay calm, but he was already starting to resemble a beet.

Leo laughed. “Why does it make you so uncomfortable? We’re grown-ups right?”

Kun felt irritated. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t go talking about how I like my cock sucked with every guy I want to fuck, okay?”

Leo flushed at that, his pupils dilating. “Well, why not? It’s not like I know anything about… _that_. I mean, there’s only so much you can learn from porn and—”

That caught Kun’s interest. “You’ve been watching gay porn?”

Leo flushed, but he kept his eyes up. “Yeah. I mean, I’m kind of in desperate need for some information here.”

Kun felt torn between laughter and arousal. How _sweet_. And also how fucking _hot_. He kept a straight face, determined not to make Leo feel embarrassed especially since he was looking at Kun, practically daring him to smile. “Ah. Well. What did you learn?” He grinned wickedly at Leo. Revenge was so damn sweet.

Leo glared at him. “I learned plenty.”

“Mm.” Kun smiled slyly. “I bet you did.”

Leo was turning redder and redder and Kun threw his head back, laughing. Furious, Leo came over and whacked him hard with a pillow. “Shut. Up.”

Kun pulled him down and threw his arms around him, still chuckling, nuzzling into his neck. Leo struggled half-heartedly, pushing him off. “No. I’m mad at you.”

Kun grinned, kissing Leo’s neck lightly and then leaning back, still hugging him. “No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am. Don’t kiss me.”

Kun laughed. It had been a long time since he’d teased Leo and it seemed as if he’d gotten the bulk of the teasing recently. It was refreshing to go back to the old ways of their friendship, to feel free enough to tease Leo and not worry about the repercussions.

“You like my kisses.”

Leo smiled at that, looking at Kun affectionately. “Well, at least you finally believe that.” He pushed at Kun’s chest. “Now let me go.”

Kun sighed and dropped his arms. “Please don’t tell me you have more questions. I’d die.”

Leo grinned, making his way back to his own bed. “No, no more questions for now. And it isn’t just about sex. I wanted to kind of talk about us.”

Kun nodded, his heart pounding. He knew Leo was attracted to him, but it was always scary having to hear that someone wanted to talk to him. “What’s up?”

“Well,” Leo said, flushing slightly. His hand was running through his hair. “I don’t know how to say it. But I like you. A lot.” Leo was getting redder and redder.

“You mean like you have a crush on me?” Kun said, grinning, unable to stop himself from using the word.

Leo laughed, embarrassment in every line of his body. “Yes. I have a crush on you.” He smiled at Kun, his eyes affectionate. “I want to see how this goes between us. But I don’t know if I want to name it yet. Is that okay?”

Kun felt blood rushing through his veins. “Yeah. But what do you mean exactly?”

“Well. I mean. I want to keep… doing what we’re doing,” Leo said in a rush, his words almost jumbled. “But I want you to know I’m not just fucking around.” He flushed at the unintended pun. “I’m serious about you. I’m just not ready to call it anything yet.”

Kun couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He felt his heart pounding with excitement. He had waited _so_ long to hear these words. “Okay. So we’re _something_?”

Leo smiled. “Yes, you’re my something.” His eyes were very warm.

Kun flushed in happiness. “God, you’re so fucking cheesy.”

Leo grinned. “One more thing. I’m not ready for sex. I mean… Like—”

Kun nodded, trying to ignore his hard-on. “Fucking?”

“Yeah. I _want_ to, but—”

Kun smiled. “It’s okay. We can take it slow. But is it just fucking you’re not ready for or…?”

Leo was very red. “Just fucking.”

“Because this morning—”

“Yeah. It’s not that I’m not ready for that—I just—” Leo trailed off, looking at Kun.

Kun nodded. “You weren’t ready then, but you might be ready the next time?”

Leo looked very relieved. “Yeah. Is that crazy?”

Kun laughed, feeling a little giddy. He went over to Leo’s bed and sat next to him. He threw his arm around him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Sometimes, because Leo was the one who always initiated things, who always took control, because Kun took the backseat, he forgot that Leo was new to this too. And probably just as scared and nervous as Kun was.

It was touching.

“No, it isn’t. We can do whatever you feel ready for.”

Leo was smiling fondly at him. “You’re such a waste of space,” he said, pecking Kun on the lips.

Kun’s heart was thrumming in pleasure, but he affected a look of hurt. “I thought I was _your_ waste of space.”

Leo’s arms went around his waist. “I never denied that.” He was grinning, dimples on full show.

They kissed gently, soft and sweet, no tongues.

“Come,” Leo said. “Let’s play FIFA. I need to kick your ass.”

Kun groaned. “You gotta be top there too, huh?” He meant the comment innocently, but flushed to the tips of his toes when he caught the double meaning.

Leo laughed, tightening his arms, knowing Kun was sure to bolt in embarrassment. Kun turned his head, unable to meet Leo’s eyes. Leo nibbled Kun’s ear, chuckling. “Mm.”

Kun pushed his chest half-heartedly, head swimming a little as Leo’s lips slowly travelling down his neck. He arched his head back, letting Leo have access. “I thought you wanted to play FIFA,” he said breathlessly.

To his disappointment, Leo dropped his arms. “You’re right.” He kissed Kun quickly. “Come, let’s play.”

Cursing his stupid mouth, Kun sullenly turned the TV on to set it up. He sighed inwardly, knowing full well that there was a night of sexual frustration ahead of him.

But when he turned around and saw Leo fluffing up his pillow and Kun’s so that they could sit comfortably, he smiled.

At least he got to be with his _something_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hi! I'm finally updating! This was the longest I took to update, so I apologise for that. I had some personal things going on. (Life doesn't stop rolling, folks!) I also didn't want to write the last scene of this chapter so I postponed it for as long as I could! 
> 
> Also, I may redo bits of this chapter later (in terms of grammar, flow, etc.) because I wrote it in a rush and in a very sleepy/distracted frame of mind. But the story doesn't change which is why I'm posting anyway.
> 
> Enjoy! ;)

****

The next day, Leo was quiet and withdrawn. He smiled briefly at Kun when he shook him awake, but made no other attempt at conversation. Kun had woken up early and so he lounged on the bed, waiting for Leo, smiling at him as he finally emerged from the bathroom.

Leo simply quirked his lips a little, but didn’t prolong eye contact. He looked troubled and Kun knew it was because of the match the next day. Kun was anxious and nervous too, but he knew Leo felt it in a way Kun never would.

Simply because he didn’t live up to the enormous burden of being Lionel Messi, the greatest footballer of all time.

Kun shook his head inwardly. Thoughts like that were a straight path into hell. He watched Leo as he changed quickly. Leo was lost in thought, seemingly unaware that Kun was staring.

“Leo?”

Leo started. “Yeah?”

“Hi.” Kun smiled.

Leo’s eyes softened a little and he smiled slightly. “Hi.” He was combing his hair quickly now. “Let’s go?””

Kun nodded. He squeezed Leo’s bicep gently as he walked past him. They walked to breakfast in silence, Kun knowing that Leo needed a little time to himself. Sometimes Leo had to be forced out of one of his moods, but Kun knew this wasn’t one of them.

Once training was over, he would probably calm down.

* * *

Training was quiet and strained. Kun felt so anxious that, by the end of it, he genuinely wished he hadn’t trained at all. He showered quickly, eager to get back to his room and escape the toxic atmosphere in the locker room.

Only Masche was still talking, giving his usual rousing pep talks. Kun nodded along, trying to match his enthusiasm. He stole a glance at Leo, who was sitting on the bench, head down, his expression closed off.

Kun frowned at the white lines around Leo’s mouth. Leo hadn’t improved at all after training and seemed to be only getting worse. He felt anxiety fluttering in his chest and looked away. The more involved he was with Leo romantically, the harder it was to let Leo be _Lionel Messi_ , footballing genius with a magical left foot, media darling—all, of course, until they lost—at which point he quickly became the person at fault. Not just at fault, but the person who had singlehandedly ruined them all, who had let not only the fans down—but the whole damn country.

He didn’t want Leo to suffer any more criticism.

But he couldn’t stop him from playing. Because Leo loved football more than anything—it came second only to Thiago, perhaps. The whole situation made Kun’s head ache a little. He gritted his teeth and swallowed hard, forcing himself to calm down. The anger was burgeoning already and it scared him a little.

By the time they trooped back to their rooms, Leo was silent, lost in his own world, only grunting a little at Kun’s lame attempts at conversation.

Kun wanted to touch Leo, to comfort him, but he was scared of this closed-off Leo and didn’t know what to do. Before they had started their _new_ relationship, he wouldn’t have thought twice. But now—now he was scared. He bit his lip, watching as Leo collapsed on his bed and rolled to face the wall.

Kun frowned and slumped onto his own, turning the TV on. He flipped through the channels until he found a cartoon. It made him think of his son and he smiled. Benja could sit in front of the TV all day if they let him.

Leo got up suddenly and went to the bathroom. Something about his quick movements struck Kun as odd and, on impulse, he followed. He stood outside the locked door and listened. He could hear distinct retching sounds.

Immediately, heart thudding with anxiety, he rapped on the door. “Open the door, Leo.”

There was a silence. Kun knocked harder. “Open up, Leo.”

Leo called back, voice muffled and slightly shaky, “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Leo, I can hear you. Open up.” He placed his palm flat on the door and waited one long second. “Please, baby.”

He could hear a long shuddering intake of breath inside the bathroom. Then there was flushing and water running and then Leo opened the door. Kun hugged him immediately, throwing his arms around Leo’s neck, so hard that he could feel a whoosh of breath from Leo.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered into Leo’s ear.

Leo’s arms came around him tightly. He buried his face into Kun’s neck, saying nothing. They stood like that for a long time, Leo’s body trembling very slightly in Kun’s. He could feel Leo’s heart pounding hard in his chest. He held Leo until his breathing eased a little and his heartbeat calmed down.

When he leaned back, Leo’s eyes were red but dry. “I’m sorry,” Leo whispered.

“Why are you sorry?” Kun said lightly. “I always like touching you. Give me an excuse any time.”

Leo huffed out a soft breath of laughter. “You pervert.”

Kun grinned, his heart still contracting in anxiety. But Leo’s smile was such a relief. “For you, always.” He leaned in to kiss Leo, but Leo turned his head.

“No, Kun,” he said. “My breath—”

Kun laughed, this time in real amusement. He nuzzled Leo’s neck. “Why is your breath always an issue? We need to work on that,” he teased gently.

Leo was smiling. “You seem to catch me at bad times.”

Kun kissed Leo gently just under his ear. “Come on before I take advantage of you in the bathroom.” He leaned back, tugging on Leo’s hand.

Leo’s smile was still slightly shadowed, but Kun could see that the worst was over. “I don’t mind.”

Kun swallowed, ignoring that. He pulled Leo out and guided him to his bed. Leo got in obediently, climbing under the covers. Kun followed and lay down next to him.

Leo chuckled. Kun looked at him questioningly. Grinning, Leo said, “Remember I was nervous and I made you lie down with me? And you were really…” He smirked.

Kun flushed. He glared at Leo. “After I was so nice to you, this is the thanks I get? You reminding me of my—”

“Hard-on,” Leo interrupted, his eyes twinkling.

Kun gasped in pretend outrage, but his heart was already soaring. This was the Leo he wanted. Leo’s fingers were already sliding into his gently, rubbing slowly against his skin. “You are no gentleman, sir.”

Leo’s eyes were mischievous. “Then get out of my bed.”

Kun laughed. “Well,” he said, dragging out the word. “I want to be here.”

Leo took his lower lip into his mouth, smiling. “That’s what I thought.”

They smiled at each other. Then Leo tugged on Kun’s hand. “Come here,” he said.

Kun’s heart was racing as he rolled towards Leo. He buried his face into Leo’s neck, his other arm coming to splay across Leo’s chest. Leo tangled their legs together. Kun’s erection was pressing into Leo’s hip, but neither of them commented on it.

Leo’s arm was across Kun’s back, the other cupping Kun’s arm. They lay there for a while, just being quiet and luxuriating in each other until they fell asleep.

* * *

Later, Kun would remember Leo’s hard, blazing look of joy as they hugged. He lifted Leo off his feet, his head swimming with euphoria. Leo’s arms were hard around him and Kun was sure he was aching everywhere, but it didn’t matter because he had Leo in his arms, and Argentina were in the _semi-finals_!

The emotions were extreme mainly because of the manner in which they’d won. Penalty shooutouts was never anyone’s favourite business, but it made the joy even sweeter.

It was a blur of happiness. There was a lot of singing, dancing, jumping around in the locker room. There was a lot of hugging. And there was Leo, laughing, dimples on full show, abs shining and rippling as he sang and hugged everyone.

Kun couldn’t take his eyes off Leo, off his beauty, off his joy. He felt a powerful want rise in him, almost overwhelming. They sat next to each other, skin touching, thighs brushing and he felt his head reel in pleasure and love and lust.

But it was mainly lust. He wanted Leo so badly his mouth watered. His hands were burning with need, wanting so desperately to touch Leo’s naked skin, he almost moaned out loud from it.

Leo’s eyes were glittering, his hair was rumpled and he smelt of sweat—and all of it made something primal and ferocious come out in Kun, some need to mark him, some need to have him.

Their eyes met and perhaps some of Kun’s need came across to Leo because he froze, looking at Kun. They stared at each other and Kun felt his cock throbbing in his shorts and he almost reached for Leo, instead balling his fist into his thigh.

Leo’s gaze moved to his fist and when he looked back up, his eyes were dark, hot, and blazing. Kun swallowed, a tiny rush of air escaping his lips. He stood and made his way carefully to the showers, his heart pounding in excitement, so hard he was leaking.

He could feel Leo’s eyes on him as he moved away, but he didn’t glance back, knowing it was dangerous, knowing he was just inches away from publicly kissing him. He stepped into the showers in relief, turning the water on ice-cold.

It was like being dunked and shocked all at once. He gasped. It helped almost immediately, cooling his senses, his erection dying away. He stood under the freezing water for a few minutes and then soaped up quickly, feeling calmer.

But there was also a thrumming excitement in his veins. Something was going to happen tonight.

He had seen it in Leo’s eyes.

* * *

The way back was nothing short of torture. He made sure not to sit next to Leo, but he could feel Leo’s eyes watching him, dark and hot. Leo was still laughing and celebrating, but there was an intensity about him that Kun could see—an intensity that made Kun’s skin burn just a little from want.

They went up in the elevator with the rest of the teammates and Kun studiously avoided Leo’s gaze, instead comforting Rojo on the penalty miss. He wondered if he was making any sense at all because he was hardly paying any attention to the conversation.

Angel, Pocho, Leo and Kun exited the elevator together, making their way to the end of the hallway where their rooms were facing each other. Kun’s heart was pounding so hard, he wondered if anyone could hear.

They hugged good night and Leo was the one who opened the door. As soon as Kun stepped in, Leo shut the door quickly behind him and pressed Kun up against it.

Leo’s mouth was on him quickly, hard and fast and hot. Kun moaned instantly, unable to stop himself, his hands fisting in Leo’s shirt. Leo’s kisses were different tonight, a hint of desperation which Kun had never sensed before. The knowledge that Leo wanted him made his head swim in pleasure.

Still kissing, they moved clumsily to Leo’s bed and fell in, Kun lying half on top of Leo. Kun pressed his cock against Leo’s thigh, moaning at the sensation. Leo moved his head back, breaking the kiss and nipped Kun’s lower lip.

Kun leaned in, trying to kiss him again, but Leo’s mouth moved to Kun’s neck. Well, this was an acceptable alternative. He felt his body growing weak at Leo’s tongue licking gently on the sensitive skin under his jaw and Kun shivered.

“Please,” he whispered, already going crazy.

Leo’s hand went to his hair, tugging Kun’s head up and they kissed again, tongues licking hotly into each other’s mouth, the kiss sloppy and rough.

Kun slipped his fingers under Leo’s shirt and tugged. Leo broke the kiss again, then allowed Kun to pull it over his head. They shed Kun of his shirt too and tossed it, resuming the kiss with increased desperation.

Kun was by now going mad, grinding hard into Leo’s thigh. Leo was panting and kissing him, but he was still in control and suddenly Kun wanted to break Leo of that, wanted to make him beg, wanted to _mark_ him all over.

It was Kun’s mouth that went travelling now. He kissed down Leo’s chest with purpose, finding his nipples and licking it. Leo seemed to be surprised by the sensation and he arched a little, inhaling sharply. Kun smiled against Leo’s chest, confidence growing.

In all things, Leo had the upper hand. He was the one who held all the cards, who had all the control—because Kun had been in love with him for years. But in _this_ —in the bedroom, Kun was the one with experience. Kun knew what to do with a man’s body and he knew what he could do with his mouth.

He licked and kissed down Leo’s stomach. Leo’s belly jumped under his, tensing.

Kun moved up, kissing Leo gently on the mouth. He slipped his hand down to Leo’s shorts. “Can I?”

Leo nodded, but his eyes were nervous. He swallowed hard and it made Kun smile. Kun kissed him again slowly, sucking on Leo’s lower lip. He pushed the shorts down with his hands, though it was made a little awkward by the position.

“Up,” he said against Leo’s lips. Obediently, Leo lifted his hips and Kun pushed it down. Kun broke the kiss, sliding down on the bed. He pulled the shorts off completely, leaving Leo only in his underwear. He could see Leo’s erection now and the wet spot on the white material.

It made Kun’s mouth water and his cock throb. Intent, he moved back up to Leo’s mouth, kissing him slowly, drawing out the moment. Leo was breathing very harshly, but he was still in control. And Kun was determined to put a stop to that.

The problem was that he himself was losing control a little at Leo’s body. He hadn’t seen so much of Leo’s nudity in a long time and it was driving him crazy. The new diet had made Leo lean and hard, muscles rippling everywhere and it took Kun’s breath away.

His hand slid slowly down Leo’s stomach and when he finally closed it around Leo’s cock, touching him through the underwear, Leo sighed. Kun felt a rush of triumph through his veins and kissed Leo harder, tongue running over Leo’s lower lip.

Leo nipped his in response and Kun smiled. He couldn’t take much more of this, but he was willing to try. It was Leo’s first time with a guy and he wanted him to never forget it.

He pushed Leo’s underwear down and this time Leo needed no prompting, lifting his hips for Kun to slide it down. Kun moved away from Leo’s mouth, removing the underwear and tossing it aside. He paused and looked at Leo, flushed, chest heaving.

He was utterly naked and glorious. Every inch of his skin was glistening with sweat from their exertions, his abs shining, his biceps tensed as he fisted the sheets. His lips were wet, reddened, swollen and parted, drawing in deep breaths, eyes dark and hot as they looked at Kun.

Leo flushed deeper as Kun looked boldly over him, but he didn’t drop his gaze. Kun looked at Leo’s cock. He’d always known Leo was big—it wasn’t that hard to miss—but _this_ was definitely bigger than Kun imagined.

Moaning, he leaned down, licking at the underside of Leo’s cock. Leo inhaled sharply, then moved upwards, dislodging Kun’s mouth. Confused, Kun looked at him, but realized that Leo was just moving into a half-sitting position so he could watch.

Kun crawled up a little, settling in between Leo’s spread thighs, powerful and rippling. He felt he’d never be luckier than this, to have this moment, to have Leo at his mercy, Leo looking at him with desperation and need and want in his eyes, his cock hard for _Kun_ and only Kun.

It made Kun feel almost drunk with pleasure. He leaned down and took Leo’s cock in his mouth, sucking gently. Leo made a tiny sound, but didn’t do anything else. Kun held his gaze as he slowly bobbed his head once, tongue licking as he did so.

Leo was watching as if mesmerized. Kun’s one hand was bracing himself up, holding Leo’s thigh as leverage, the other gently rubbing Leo’s balls, coaxing sensation out of him. Leo’s eyes fluttered shut as Kun took Leo all the way into his throat, but he opened them quickly again.

Kun’s gag reflex had always been very controllable and it was what made him so good at this. He started bobbing his head slowly, deep throating Leo with every stroke. Leo was panting now but he _still_ hadn’t begged or made a sound.

Kun sucked harder, drooling now, but not caring. Because he needed Leo to break, needed Leo to acknowledge that he was desperate too, needed to hear _something_ from Leo’s mouth.

The sounds filling the room were obscene, slurping and sucking mingling only with Leo’s pants, but it somehow made it even hotter. Unable to help himself, Kun slipped a hand down his own shorts, stroking himself quickly.

He was so close he was going to come with just a few more strokes. In sync to his own hand movements, he started bobbing his head faster, licking and sucking at Leo’s cock frantically, desperately. Leo’s hand was now in his head and he started bucking up into Kun’s mouth.

Kun’s jaw was aching, but it didn’t matter because he was so close now, so _close._ And as he looked up at Leo, Leo moaned and Kun _came_.

He groaned around Leo’s cock as he spurted onto the sheets, his cock throbbing and pulsing in pleasure. Leo’s hand was pulling at Kun’s hair painfully, but Kun didn’t care because it was so good, Leo’s cock in his mouth and his hand milking his own.

The vibrations of Kun’s groan around Leo’s cock must have put Leo over the edge because he was gasping and bucking up into Kun’s mouth even more desperately. Kun was tired, but he sucked hard at Leo’s cock now, bobbing frantically, using his hand to slide wetly up Leo’s slick cock.

Leo moaned again and Kun felt a surge of pleasure rush through him. He met Leo’s eyes and Leo gasped, “ _Fuck_ , Kun. _Yes_.”

It made Kun forget his tiredness, forget the ache in his jaws as he sucked Leo, drooling hard, allowing Leo to fuck Kun’s mouth frantically. “Kun, I’m _coming_ ,” Leo finally cried, trying to pull Kun’s head off, but Kun held Leo’s hips firmly, still bobbing.

Leo’s cock pulsed in Kun’s mouth and Kun felt it like it was his own orgasm, like he was coming too. The come was too much for Kun to swallow and it dribbled out, but he kept licking and sucking as Leo moaned, still bucking gently up.

When Leo was truly done, when he collapsed back, eyes closed, chest heaving, Kun let Leo’s cock slip out of his mouth. He felt emotion swell as he looked at Leo now, still breathing hard. He waited until Leo’s eyes opened. He looked drowsy.

“Come here, you have—” Leo mumbled, reaching for Kun.

Kun went willingly, letting Leo rub the come off his face. He felt a surge of tenderness for this sleepy Argentine man, this man who had come to mean so much to him, who was everything to Kun, second only to Benja.

Leo pulled him gently down and they kissed, sweaty and sticky, mouths lazily moving against each other. “That was incredible,” Leo breathed.

Kun smiled. “I’ll do that for you every day if you want.”

Leo mouth quirked. “Why do I feel like there’s a catch?”

Kun laughed easily, their mouths still brushing. “There is. You’ll have to still be my something.”

Leo smiled, nuzzling Kun. “Deal.”

They kissed again for long minutes, enjoying the afterglow. After a while, they moved to Kun’s bed, Leo’s being deemed far too sticky. They fell asleep quickly, legs tangled, arms touching, mouths close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now you know I hate writing smutty scenes cause it makes me very embarrassed and I never know if I'm doing it right? Haha. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed and, as always, please let me know what you think! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the time for me to admit that I'm an idiot. I made a colossal mistake! I made a timeline before starting the fic and I've been trying to adhere to it very strictly, down to the dates and everything. But stupid me, I thought I would remember to add Leo's birthday in as it approached but it slipped my mind as the chapters went by! Aaaah. So now, this chapter (or the birthday part) is actually happening 4 days too late. So I'm taking artistic license and asking you all to somehow imagine Leo's birthday as four days later? Haha. I apologise!
> 
> Maybe when the whole fic is over, I'll come back and rewrite this in such a way that the timeline is correct. But for now, that would mean changes and I don't want to derail it and lose my momentum. So sorry! And please enjoy. :)

The night before Leo’s birthday, Kun was in a fever of anticipation. He didn’t know why he was always more excited about Leo’s birthday than Leo himself was. As far as Kun could remember, he’d always been the one counting down to Leo’s birthday, who seemed either blissfully unaware or usually mostly amused at Kun’s enthusiasm.

Leo didn’t often celebrate his birthdays. He was low-key about most things in life, but this was one of the things that baffled Kun. So Kun took it upon himself to make every single one of Leo’s birthdays special—well, if he was around, of course. And for Leo,  _special_  was the small things. He didn’t like big to-dos, preferring instead to spend time with his loved ones and enjoying life’s small pleasures. And so Kun always tried to tone down his natural tendencies towards exuberance—trying instead to give him a quietly happy day.

During the last World Cup, he’d gotten Leo a very expensive watch and generously allowed Leo to kick his ass at FIFA all night. He was pretty sure Leo had enjoyed the latter more than the former.

Kun never worried about getting Leo a good gift because Leo just didn’t care—he accepted everything with a smile and later couldn’t even identify who’d given him what. So usually Kun got his assistant to buy something suitably expensive and instead tried to make the day special in different ways.

But things were different this time around. Now they were… well,  _something_ and you couldn’t just throw an expensive gift at a person you were making out with, could you?

Well, you _could_ if the person wasn’t much richer than you and totally uninterested in expensive gifts.

Kun had come to the Copa with the same mindset he’d always had and, tucked in his suitcase, was a pricey boring gift. He didn’t even know what it was this time because his assistant had packed it for him.

But whatever it was, it wouldn’t do. Because what the hell do you buy a _something_?

The only things Leo truly wanted were things you couldn’t get for money. So surely Kun didn’t have to worry, right?

But he'd been feeling a nervous excitement in the pit of his stomach all day. Lost in thought, he caught Leo looking at him, smiling drowsily in amusement, but he just grinned back.

“You’re going to be so old.”

Leo rolled his eyes. “Just a year older than you.”

Kun widened his eyes earnestly. “ _So_ old.”

Leo didn’t respond. He was lying on his stomach, already drowsing and ready to fall asleep. He was only awake because Kun had determinedly kept talking, ignoring Leo’s unsubtle comments about being sleepy.

Kun watched Leo’s eyes flutter shut again and, from his perch on his own bed, sang happily, “Leo!”

Leo’s eyes snapped open. He looked irritated and rolled on his back, groaning. “Kun, let me sleep. I don’t care about midnight birthday wishes.”

Kun grinned. “Come on. It’s just another forty-five minutes! What kind of an idiot falls asleep less than one hour before their birthday?”

Leo had covered his face with a pillow. He hated sleeping with the lights on and it was one of their constant fights, though this time Kun had tried to be as considerate as possible. “A person who wants to sleep,” he said, voice muffled and indistinct.

Kun waved his hand dismissively, not caring that Leo couldn’t see. “I know you’re old, but I mean—come _on_.”

“I’m warning you—”

Oblivious, Kun continued absently, looking at his phone, “I know you’re practically a grandpa now but—”

It was like a small tornado hit him. Leo had leaped from his bed with such speed, one would never have suspected he was two minutes away from snoozing. He knocked Kun down flat on his bed, tossing the phone back on his own bed and straddled him.

Kun looked staggered and slightly winded. He seemed speechless for a second, then started laughing.

“What the hell are you doing?” Kun said, still grinning.

Leo’s expression was grim. “I’m going to make you pay.”

Kun was feeling the stirrings of arousal now. “For what? Keeping you up or calling you—”

Leo’s eyes were sharp. “If you have any sense of personal safety, you _won’t_ finish that sentence.”

Kun’s grin was mischievous. Innocently, he said, “What? You mean you don’t want me to call you—”

“ _Kun_.”

“—old?”

Leo’s hands grabbed both of Kun’s and slammed them down by his head. Kun kept still, riveted and very, _very_ aroused now. Leo’s eyes were flashing with anger, but Kun didn’t care because he could distinctly feel Leo’s throbbing erection against his thigh.

Leo leaned down so his mouth was just a breath away from Kun’s. He waited for a moment, just staying out of reach, his warm breath wafting on Kun’s slightly parted lips. His eyes were dark, hot. It was so erotic Kun felt his own erection begin to leak in anticipation.

“Take it back,” Leo said, voice low.

Kun’s head wasn’t as oriented as it had been at the beginning of the conversation, but he was still determined not to give in. It wasn’t Leo’s birthday _yet_.

“No,” he said, his voice still fairly strong, though slightly hoarse.

Leo closed the gap between them, rubbing his lips against Kun’s lightly. Kun sighed against his mouth, straining to get more, but Leo kept tantalizingly out of reach. He leaned back and said, “Take it back.”

Kun’s eyes opened a second later than it should have as if it took real effort. He took a deep breath, struggling to get in control of himself. “No,” he choked out.

Leo’s eyes were glittering, his cheeks flushed. If Kun hadn’t felt that erection pulsing against him, he would have given in, but he knew Leo was fighting it too. That made this somehow hotter than a simple kiss could.

Leo was considering him, a slight smile on his lips. Kun didn’t know if he should be frightened because there was something positively devious in Leo’s eyes. Then Leo leaned in and kissed Kun full on the mouth, sucking lightly on Kun’s lower lip.

Surprised, Kun’s lips parted on a breath, but he immediately kissed Leo back, eyes sliding shut. The atmosphere was already charged, but Leo’s tongue in Kun’s mouth made it a billion times hotter. Leo’s hands were still holding his down and although Kun could have struggled, he enjoyed the slight sense of helplessness, Leo being in charge.

It made his skin heat up faster than it normally would. He found himself gasping into Leo’s mouth and arching his head up for more, more, _more_. Leo’s fingers tightened in his warningly and Kun understood this for the command it was and, whining, subsided a little.

All his senses were filled with Leo: their fingers touching, their mouths clinging and rubbing, their bodies pressed hard together. Leo’s scent was everywhere, his mouth hot and wet against Kun’s. Kun, restless, squirmed against Leo, desperate for Leo to stop kissing him already and get on with it.

But Leo was taking him time. His erection was throbbing persistently against Kun’s thigh, but he wasn’t even responding to Kun’s slight bucking. Instead, he nipped Kun’s lower lip gently—a warning—and Kun, half-mad with arousal, stopped his hips with a giant effort.

He couldn’t stop himself for mumbling, “Please, please, _please_ ,” over and over again into Leo’s mouth.

Leo hushed him, his tongue making slow strokes into Kun’s mouth, his head tilting to the left, going deep into Kun’s mouth. Kun simultaneously wished this would both stop and go on forever, although he was sure he’d die if he didn’t get some relief _soon_.

Finally, Leo stopped kissing him, leaning just a half-inch away from Kun’s lips. Dazed, Kun stared at him, lids heavy. Leo’s pupils were dilated, his cheeks flushed, his mouth parted and panting.

“What do you want?” he said, voice low.

Kun didn’t even blink. “You.”

Leo’s smile was full of satisfaction. He leaned down and kissed Kun again, letting go of Kun’s hands. Immediately, Kun fisted Leo’s shirt tightly, then realizing that he could do more, slipped his hands under Leo’s shirt, feeling the shifting muscles underneath.

Leo’s breathing quickened immediately, and he pressed hard against Kun, bucking slightly against him. Pleased at this, Kun’s fingers went up to Leo’s nipple, flicking gently. Leo moaned, then grabbed Kun’s hands again, slamming them back down.

“Leo, _no_ ,” Kun whined into their kiss. Leo broke the kiss, panting harshly.

“Tell me what you want,” Leo gasped.

 “You, fuck, Leo, _you_.” Kun was struggling lightly now, desperate and going mad. _Why_ was Leo doing this?

“Keep your hands here. Do you hear me?” Leo said, voice low.

Kun nodded. He would have agreed to _anything_ now.

Leo disengaged their fingers, his right hand sliding slowly down Kun’s stomach towards his erection. There was something extremely hot about looking at Leo’s face while feeling his hand moving down towards Kun’s leaking cock.

When Leo’s hands slipped into Kun’s underwear, his hot hand closing around Kun’s even hotter erection, leaking and hard, their eyes still on each other, he couldn’t take it. Kun turned his head away, moaning and closing his eyes.

His fists were clenched now, still by his head, held there only by the thinnest thread of control. Leo’s mouth came to Kun’s ear and he bit it gently, making Kun shiver. His hand hadn’t moved yet, but he gently squeezed his hand around Kun’s cock. Kun took in a quick breath, eyes fluttering open.

“Look at me,” Leo said against his ear.

“No,” Kun moaned.

“Yes, Kun.” Leo’s hand had started the first stroke _finally_ , so crazily slow, dragging the skin with the lightest of grips so that Kun would have preferred no touch at all—because this was _torture_.

“Leo, _fuck_.” He tried thrusting up into Leo’s hand, but the hand immediately stilled.

“No.” Leo’s voice was slightly sharp. “No moving. Look at me.”

Kun turned his head, too desperate to be embarrassed, meeting Leo’s eyes. They were full of something hard and possessive, as if Kun was all _his_ and somehow this made Kun even _harder_.

“Is this what you want?” Leo said, his voice rough. He moved his hand again, agonizingly slow, flicking his thumb over the head.

It had never been this erotic with anyone else, never been this good. Leo was hardly even touching him and yet he could feel the pleasure everywhere. Kun’s body was so sensitive, so hot for Leo, he almost felt like the smallest thing would make him come.

“Yes, please, _please_.”

And, suddenly, Leo got off Kun’s body and went back to his own bed. Bewildered, Kun actually lay there for a moment or two, wondering if he was hallucinating. He looked at Leo in confusion, who was tucking himself into bed.

“Good night,” Leo said, smiling widely.

The realization that Leo was planning to leave him high and dry as some sort of fucked-up _revenge_ took a few minutes to sink in. Kun sat up, incredulous. “Are you seriously going to _bed_?”

Leo smirked. “Yes. That’s what you get for calling me old.”

Kun’s eyes narrowed. “How the fuck does that make sense? _You’re_ suffering too.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t the one _begging_.”

That was so cruel, Kun’s jaw dropped. His cheeks flushed immediately, violently. Furious, he stormed over to Leo’s bed, throwing the bed covers off. Leo was laying calmly back, mouth smiling slightly. He raised an eyebrow at Kun.

Kun’s eyes travelled down to Leo’s crotch and saw that he was still hard. He smiled. “Looks like you really are suffering.”

But Leo didn’t seem annoyed by this. “Doesn’t bother an old soul like me.” His words were light, but his eyes were still hard.

They looked at each other for a moment calculatingly. Then Kun knelt on Leo’s bed, making to straddle him. Immediately, Leo sat, checking the move. They were close now, Kun looking down on Leo, their gazes challenging.

Kun wondered if Leo was actually feeling bad about it. Maybe it did bother him? Softening slightly, he raised a hand, rubbing at Leo’s cheekbone. Leo tensed at this, but didn’t move, eyes fixed on Kun’s. “You’re not old. You still play like a dream.”

When Kun saw Leo’s eyes flare slightly, he knew he was right. So Leo was sensitive about his age, huh? Well, stranger things had been true. He obviously didn’t want to be 28, didn’t want to come closer to the time when he would retire.

“Yeah, but for how long?” Leo mumbled, looking away.

Kun kissed the corner of Leo’s lips. “For as long as it’s meant to be.”

Leo huffed at this. “And you call _me_ cheesy.”

Kun grinned. “I’m just saying there’s no point worrying about it until you need to.”

Leo took a deep breath, meeting Kun’s eyes. “You’re right. It just freaks me out sometimes.”

“You know what _should_ freak you out?” Kun took Leo’s hand and pressed it firmly against his own crotch. “My blue balls.”

Leo snorted, but didn’t take his hand away. His eyes had flared slightly with interest. “Still hard for me, huh?” he smirked. The gloating expression was singularly annoying, but Kun ignored it. Leo’s hand pressing against his dick was more of an issue now than anything else.

“Shut the fuck up,” Kun muttered, leaning forward to kiss Leo.

Leo dodged Kun, neatly turning him so he was laying flat down. He leaned over Kun, insinuating his thigh carefully between Kun’s legs, who spread them very willingly. “You know what was very interesting?” Leo said conversationally, as if he wasn’t pressing his body into Kun’s crotch.

“W-what?” Kun said, slightly breathlessly.

Leo leaned very close so that his lips were brushing Kun’s. “I like you begging.”

Kun flushed, but his cock throbbed, jumping in his shorts as if Leo had electrified it. “I won’t beg this time.”

Leo looked like he’d been wanting Kun to say exactly that. Kun cursed himself instantly as he saw Leo’s eyes light up. “I-I meant—” he blurted, wanting to undo the damage he had surely done to himself.

But Leo shook his head, eyes warm and intent. “No, no, let me get this straight. This time around, you aren’t going to say please, right?”

Kun swallowed, knowing he was doomed. But he had to have some pride here, for God’s sake. He couldn’t just agree to everything. He looked at Leo, who was smiling wickedly, dimples all on show, hair flopping over his forehead.

“I won’t say please, I won’t beg,” Kun said firmly, lifting his chin.

Leo’s smile was one of utter delight as if he’d been given a gift. “Mm,” he said, leaning forward to kiss Kun.

Kun sighed inwardly, parting his lips for Leo. They kissed slowly, Leo taking his sweet time, exploring Kun’s mouth unhurriedly. Kun had forgotten what it was like to just kiss—sometimes it seemed kissing was only a gateway to fucking, but Leo took it to another level.

He seemed perfectly content to kiss Kun into the New Year, his mouth moving gently over Kun’s, tongue making small gentle forays into his mouth. Kun desperately wanted to squirm, but pride forced him to lay still, even though he couldn’t help himself from clenching hard at the sheets.

Leo had been bracing himself up on his elbows, but now he sank deliciously onto Kun, the majority of his body leaning on the bed so as not to crush Kun. But the half-weight of his body against Kun was so good, he moaned, head whirling from sensation.

Leo grasped Kun’s arm and leaned back, pulling on Kun. Kun rolled swiftly, eager to take this to another step, now half-lying on Leo’s chest. Leo’s left hand was in Kun’s hair as he deepened the kiss, the other rubbing Kun’s back.

Kun badly wanted to arch into Leo, but instead squeezed his shoulders hard, knowing that he was most likely bruising him. Leo didn’t even murmur in protest, engrossed in Kun’s mouth. He was parting his legs under Kun’s, allowing their bulges to rub against each other through their clothes, the sensation raw and good and _not damn enough_.

Kun gasped against Leo’s mouth, panting harshly. “ _Fuck_ ,” he moaned, unable to control himself.

Leo reached for the hem of Kun’s shirt, pulling upwards. Impatiently, Kun broke the kiss, allowing Leo to remove and toss the shirt away. He reached for Leo’s shirt, expecting to be stopped, but Leo smiled and let Kun take it off.

At the sight of Leo’s bare chest, Kun’s breathing quickened, his cock throbbing very hard in his shorts. “I love you, I love you,” he said fervently, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.

Leo’s entire expression changed, something very soft entering into his eyes. Immediately, he pulled Kun down, kissing him hard. Kun was slightly embarrassed, but it vanished at feeling Leo’s fingers drifting towards his shorts.

Leo rolled them again so he was on top, breaking the kiss. He was panting harshly now, his face tense. His eyes met Kun’s and he smiled. “What do you want, Kun?”

Kun shook his head, remembering his pride suddenly. “Nothing.”

Leo laughed softly and Kun was so far gone now that even _this_ was erotic. He was feeling overstimulated. Leo had already seduced him, touched him and left him hanging and now they’d started again from the beginning and he was going _crazy_.

Was Leo going to keep doing this all night? No, surely not. They had training tomorrow. It had to end at some point.

Leo’s fingers were rubbing over Kun’s abs slowly, exploring. Kun sucked in a breath, tensing. Why did _that_ feel good? Leo’s eyes met his and he smiled slowly, realizing Kun liked it. He leaned forward, kissing Kun just under his jawline.

Kun arched his head back, letting Leo suck at the sensitive skin on his neck, letting Leo lave gently at a particularly pleasurable spot. Kun shivered in pleasure, his fingers tangling in Leo’s hair. Leo’s hand was drifting lower, so slow that Kun twisted in the bed, his hand landing hard on Leo’s, trying to push it down.

Leo flipped his hand over, catching Kun’s. “No,” he murmured against Kun’s skin. “You know what you have to do.”

“Leo, Leo,” Kun sobbed, squirming all over the bed now. His shorts were damp from sweat and pre come. His cock was so painful at this point that all he could think of was relief.

Leo’s mouth was moving lower now, licking gently at Kun’s nipples. “Tell me what you want, Kun.” His voice was low and he blew over one nipple.

Kun’s eyes were frantic, looking at Leo. “I want you.”

Pride seemed to have vanished. A small part of Kun’s brain was shaking its head at him, making disgusted sounds. But the rest of him was saying _yes yes yes_ and it seemed to be coming mainly from his crotch so he wasn’t going to discount its opinion.

Leo came up quickly, kissing Kun deeply. His hand moved to Kun’s bulge immediately, and he began stroking it gently from outside. Kun moaned in pleasure, arching up into Leo’s hands.

“Say it, Kun,” Leo whispered, lips still against Kun’s.

“ _Please_ , Leo. Please. Fuck. Pleasepleaseplease,” Kun babbled, gasping from the pleasure as Leo kept rubbing him.

Kun could feel Leo’s smile of triumph, but he didn’t care because _finally_ Leo’s fingers went into his shorts. He took Kun’s cock out and didn’t waste a second in stroking it quickly. He fisted Kun’s cock hard, dragging the skin rapidly back and forth, not giving Kun any time to adjust.

It was so shockingly good, so unexpectedly fast that Kun couldn’t help crying out harshly. He couldn’t shut up either and started babbling on and on, swearing and professing his love and generally mumbling utter nonsense. It had never happened to him during sex, but he utterly lost control.

Leo let him talk, kissing his neck instead. He was stroking Kun firmly, his wrist moving like lightning. They didn’t need lube or anything else because Kun was so damp from his own secretions that obscene, slurping sounds filled the room.

Kun was finally reduced to nothing but saying Leo’s name over and over, moaning it and gasping it and sighing it until finally the pleasure peaked. Leo kissed him then, dragging his tongue over Kun’s lower lip, sucking it hard as his hand moved even faster over Kun’s wet cock.

Kun arched hard into Leo’s grasp, crying Leo’s name out against his lips so that it passed only between them, as he came all over Leo’s fingers, spurting onto Leo’s sheets.

Leo stroked him gently, drawing him down from the pleasure, still kissing his moaning mouth. When Leo lifted his head, breaking the kiss, Kun kept his eyes closed, embarrassment overcoming him. God, he’d said quite a lot of utter _bullshit_. Maybe Leo would be nice and let it go?

He opened his eyes slightly to Leo’s grinning expression. Kun groaned. “Fuck off.”

Laughing, Leo kissed him gently, still chuckling against Kun’s mouth. Kun pushed him back. “Let me take care of you.”

Leo smiled at this, rolling onto his back. Kun sat up, still looking a little disoriented from the orgasm. He glanced briefly at the clock and smiled. It was two minutes away from Leo’s birthday.

Grinning now, he turned to Leo. His hands went to Leo’s shorts, divesting him quickly of it and his underwear so that Leo’s hard, leaking cock bounced out.

Kun met Leo’s eyes. Leo was starting to breathe very hard. Just before he sucked the head of Leo's cock into his mouth, he grinned wickedly and said, “Happy birthday, Leo.”

Leo’s answer was a resounding moan.

* * *

The next few days sped up quickly. Kun was both dreading the end of the tournament and also wishing it was over. He knew that they’d have to go back to their own homes and the long distance relationship would have to start, at least for a little while. But he also wanted to see how they would do without having the luxury of constant access to each other.

Would they survive it?

He pushed the thoughts out of his mind. They were by mutual understanding no longer having sex or anything related to it. He didn’t actually know if not having sex helped his form—sometimes it did and sometimes it didn’t—but it didn’t hurt to try.

Besides, they both would have done anything for Argentina. Another loss would cripple this team—and Leo. Kun shook his head inwardly. There was that fear again. It was starting to come back again and again, each time worse than before. He was frightened for Leo, for them, for Argentina.

But they were playing so well. The semifinal against Paraguay had been their best one yet. Leo had been _incredible_ , orchestrating their entire win through his magical feet. The whole team had clicked in a way they hadn’t been able to the entire tournament.

It had to be a good sign, right? Besides, Leo had been in an incredibly good mood since his birthday. He’d spent that day replaying a video Antonela had posted on Instagram of Thiago singing happy birthday. Kun, too, had been forced to watch over and over again. Even Kun had to admit the video was adorable and, as a birthday gift to Leo—the _second_ gift—, he acknowledged that maybe Thiago was just as cute as Benja.

Leo had laughed at that and rolled over, kissing Kun for long moments. It had inevitably made them both hard, but they’d both ignored that, their mutual enforced celibacy taking precedence. Besides, it was nice to kiss Leo without any expectations, like teenagers who couldn’t have sex anyway.

Their relationship had taken a sweeter edge ever since the birthday, though Kun couldn’t pinpoint why. He just felt like another wall had crumbled between them during that sexual interlude that night. He didn’t know what exactly, but he only knew Leo was happy, affectionate and constantly touching Kun.

Kun was very pleased about this, but something in him was also very scared. It just seemed too good to be true. He was generally an incredibly positive person, but he had always believed that if you laughed too hard, you ended up crying too.

But for now, he enjoyed this Leo. He very rarely saw Leo like this, even with Kun. His hands were constantly brushing against Kun, touching his skin, holding his hand, kissing him.

Before the match against Paraguay, Leo had kissed him lightly on his cheek. It was the first time they’d been touchy-feely in public after their relationship had started. He’d known they were generally considered an old married couple with the amount of times they were caught on camera all over each other, but this was the first time that Leo had initiated something and the first time it had happened since...  _that_.

And it had been so totally unexpected that Kun had blushed like a schoolgirl. His old classmates had sent him the video, laughing so hard over Skype that Kun had blocked them on the spot, refusing to unblock them for a few days following the incident.

But he’d rewatched it over and over again and blushed harder and harder the more he watched. It was, of course, quite spectacularly the biggest giveaway ever, but he knew most people wouldn’t see something they weren’t actively looking for. So he’d escaped again—albeit through the skin of his teeth.

Leo seemed oblivious to the video and never mentioned it to Kun and Kun was sensible enough not to bring it up either. He had no pride when it came to Leo, but perhaps this would be taking things a little bit too far. A man needed _some_ self respect, after all.

But that taught Kun a lot and, after that, he was guarded in public. It was one thing to be accused of having something with Leo when nothing was going on, but things could go spectacularly wrong if something leaked _now_. As it was, he was sure the hotel maids had noticed Leo’s sheets covered in semen twice—and they probably thought he was a lewd asshole, jacking off while Kun was in the room.

But Leo seemed to not care. He was happy and confident, playing with vigour and enthusiasm during training, though he did flag quicker than some of the other teammates. Kun couldn’t blame him—he’d been playing every single game, all 90 minutes, for an entire season and then during the Copa.

Kun should have known his premonitions were right, though. Because as the idyllic days passed, broken only by the nervousness of actually playing a final, he became almost complacent, almost  _too_ confident in them. He forgot that things could go so wrong, forgot how bad losing such a major tournament could be. 

Until the day of the Copa final.

And that was the day it all came apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I just wanted to say thanks for all the kudos and comments. I used to write years back but I gave it up for many years except a few things here and there during college (and that was mainly because I was forced). I lost my joy for it basically and all the feedback and the nice comments has been so nice and encouraging! You guys have really been so crazy kind so this is a big shoutout to everyone who takes the time to give me kudos and comments. You are so appreciated, honestly! You don't know how much it all means to me. <3
> 
> And, as always, don't forget to let me know what you think of this one! ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello! Here's the long-awaited depressing chapter. One thing: this is AU in that Leo doesn't go to Gabon though he does go to the Caribbean. So from here on, things are generally going my way rather than following the real-life timeline. ;)
> 
> It's a lot of internal monologue so I hope it isn't too boring. Also I hope you guys understand everyone's reasoning for why they do what they do. Anyway, enjoy!

_Morning after the Copa Final_

Kun woke up crying.

He came awake immediately, suddenly, his chest aching so much he felt like he couldn’t even breathe. Rolling onto his side, he realized tears were sliding down his face, falling gently into his hair. Closing his eyes, he tried to breathe, tried to calm himself down.

But the pain was like a ball lodged just below his breastbone, aching unrelentingly. For a moment, he gave in to it, let the tears fall, let the pain swim through his head, let it overwhelm him.

But he’d gone through the World Cup. And nothing could be worse than that. Nothing would compare.

Was this much better, though?

It wasn’t, not really. Two losses in a single year. It was baffling, something akin to torture. It was nothing short of agony and he was suddenly overwhelmingly tired. He wanted nothing more than to escape, to give it up, to stop playing for Argentina, for the jersey that only seemed to mock him.

He rolled over, looking at Leo’s bed. It was still dark, but his eyes were adjusted to the dim light and he could see that no one was in bed. Leo was probably in the bathroom, wallowing. He seemed to be both broken and stronger by losses, so torn apart and yet always holding himself together, brittle and shattered, damaged and not destroyed.

But as his eyes swept the room, still blurry from the tears, he realized something was off. For a second, he puzzled it out, until he realized with a bolt of horror that Leo’s suitcase was missing.

The shock temporarily eased the ache and he sat upright, staring at the empty space where the suitcase had rested. Suddenly full of dread, he groped for his phone on the nightstand. Turning it on, he scrolled madly through the missed calls and texts looking for one name.

Coming up empty, frustrated, panic mounting, he scrolled through the notifications again, stopping at a text from Masche, alarm bells ringing. Masche _never_ texted. Opening the message with shaking hands, he read:

_Kun, Leo left. I think he didn’t tell anyone. But I think you should know he wasn’t himself. I think you should know he didn’t mean any harm._

It was as if something broke inside Kun. He lay back down, tossing the phone away, ignoring its incessant chirping as hundreds of texts flooded his phone. The tears dried up immediately. His head felt as if it was stuffed with cotton, thick and woozy and numb. He felt empty and drained.

He stared at the ceiling, eyes red and dry, mind empty.

Later, he would remember it as one of the worst days of his life.

* * *

For the first few days after getting home, Kun checked his phone compulsively. He couldn’t help himself. He had set the ringer at the highest volume, chosen the most annoyingly loud ringtone he could find, but he still reached for his phone every few minutes, checking to see if he’d missed something.

But although he received plenty of texts and calls, his heart always leaping in his chest before falling hard in disappointment at the _wrong_ name on his caller ID, Leo never called.

Kun was swimming in grief at the loss, feeling as if everything had grinded to a halt in its wake. The days went by achingly slow, almost agonizing. It was almost as if Kun’s grief was a black hole that sucked everything—he felt numb and unable to feel anything.

He didn’t turn on the news, didn’t surf the web. But little snippets of the gossip reached him anyway. Little indications of what was going on. It started as a whisper— _Messi failed again—_ to loud, terrifying roars, so filled with hate and maliciousness, Kun felt weak.

No one else was blamed, except Leo. He was torn apart so brutally, Kun felt nauseated by it. He didn’t know the full extent because of the wall of support around him, but he could imagine. Once, he even had a small flash of gratitude that it wasn’t him, but the guilt of such a thought overwhelmed him and he gagged, rushing to the bathroom and vomiting harshly.

But through it all, another thought kept pulsing at him: _Leo didn’t call_.

At first, Kun couldn’t believe he wouldn’t at least send him a text. He tried calling and texting Leo, but his phone was always switched off and his assistant picked up the home line, always saying bluntly that Leo wasn’t accepting any calls.

After a few days, his father casually mentioned that Leo was on vacation in the Caribbean. It made Kun more upset than ever. That Leo could go on vacation but not send _one text_ hit him hard. Once, in the middle of the night, he gave in and stalked Leo on Instagram. Faced with hundreds of selfies of Leo with fans, Kun turned off his phone, tossing it across the room.

But it was a turning point. After that, Kun was mainly angry. He was angry about everything. He snapped at everyone, screamed at his assistant to the point where she burst into tears. His father tried to talk to him about it, but it ended up being a one-sided yelling match with Kun stalking out of the room, his father shell-shocked.

Kun went back to his own place after that, deciding to stop camping out at his parents’ place. The house was so empty at first, so lonely, he wondered if he’d made the right decision. But after a while, the solitude descended on him like a blanket, almost soothing.

He checked his phone less and less. After a while, he put it away completely, bingeing out on crappy TV serials and even crappier action movies. His anger cooled, but there was something else taking its space—and it felt like bitterness and icy self-protection. His feelings for Leo were becoming complicated—the one thing that had been so solid for years twisted into something ugly.

But Kun didn’t shed one tear about it.

It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

* * *

He would never forget it. His phone chirped and, absently, Kun picked it up. His eyes were glued to the TV and he barely glanced at his phone to see what it was.

He froze immediately. _Leo_ was there at the top of his inbox. Kun could see the beginning of the text: _hey kun i just…_ And, suddenly, without thinking, without even opening the text, he deleted it. Hand trembling, he put his phone away, looking blindly back at the TV, heart pounding.

It was a long time before he stopped shaking. It was the first time he’d rejected Leo, albeit in the mildest way possible. Somehow, he didn’t regret it. It may have been silly and childish and exactly the wrong way for a grown man to handle it, but he was tired.

He’d been in love with Leo for so fucking long. For years. He’d pined and longed for him, watched him date other people, watched him become a star before the whole world and never, _never_ been able to be by his side as anything more than Kun, his biggest fan.

And finally, over the last few weeks, he’d started to believe. Started to believe that there was the possibility of more. But again, Leo had let him down. Again, he’d fallen for exactly the wrong thing.

Because if Leo had just left him _one_ text, not even right away, not even within the first week after the Copa final, but if he’d contacted Kun _once_ during the following two weeks, Kun would have forgiven him. Kun would have gone back crawling on his hands and knees for Leo.

But _two_ weeks. Two weeks without even bothering to see how Kun was doing? Not even bothering to tell his assistant to pass on a message. Kun had reached out so many times. It was too much. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way.

After all, if Leo could stay away so easily, then he should just stay away.

* * *

It was a few hours before Leo tried again. Kun didn’t open these either, deleting the texts immediately and with satisfaction. It was flattering that Leo was trying again, but Kun didn’t want to talk to Leo right now. He needed time.

Then Leo started calling. He called four times over the next day, leaving increasingly concerned voicemails. Kun listened to these because he couldn’t help it, Leo’s seductive soft accent, with the syllables melting around the words too tempting to ignore.

But he didn’t reply. He knew he would have to eventually. He wasn’t such an asshole. Leo had gone through a lot too. But he didn’t want to have _that_ talk yet. He decided to wait another few days before contacting Leo.

But Leo surprised him.

Although, shock was perhaps more appropriate. Kun was so flabbergasted at seeing Leo at his front door, so shocked that he’d somehow managed to get through the security—he was having a _serious_ talk with the stupid guard—that he simply stared.

Leo was smiling shyly, looking fresh and red—Kun reminded himself to laugh at Leo’s incapability of tanning like a normal human being—and _so good_.

For a second, Kun felt a huge wave of attraction, but hot on its heels was the icy cold confusion that had bewildered him all these two weeks. He dropped his eyes, feeling again the rejection of those two weeks.

“What’re you doing here?” he said bluntly, not bothering to pretend.

Leo’s eyes were careful now, watchful. He didn’t seem surprised by the reaction—almost as if he was anticipating it. Bitterly, Kun thought that he probably knew full well how he felt and—didn’t care.

“Can I come in?” Leo’s accent was more pronounced than ever as it always was after he went home for a little while. Kun felt his insides twisting a little. He grudgingly moved aside as Leo stepped over the threshold.

The Copa final flashed through his mind as he glanced at the back of Leo’s hair. He remembered him sitting on the grass, knee drawn up, an elbow draped over his knee, staring mindlessly forward. He remembered not being able to do anything to stop it, not being able to stop Leo crying on the bus ride home.

He’d only seen Leo cry once or twice. Even in grief, Leo was held together, tears streaming down his face, but otherwise making no sound, no move. He was so tightly restrained, Kun wondered what it must feel like inside his heart.

He was wearing ripped jeans and a tight black T-shirt. He looked lean and incredible. He’d stopped shaving and the scruff made him look both older and younger somehow. Kun felt both incredibly sad and incredibly weary at seeing Leo.

They made their way to the kitchen quietly. For as far as back as Kun could remember, Leo’s first stop had always been the kitchen. He’d open Kun’s fridge and start munching on anything he could find. It had become a joke initially—and later, a ritual.

But now the familiar routine felt odd, alien. Kun didn’t want to look at Leo and remember the final. He didn’t want to be reminded of Leo not wanting to talk to him. He didn’t want to remember how happy they had been in the days leading up to the final, kissing and touching and acting like—like they were in _love_.

The word jarred Kun and he gritted his teeth, trying to fight the humiliation that was rising. He forced himself to meet Leo’s eyes who, for the first time, hadn’t helped himself to any food. Leo’s eyes were shuttered and he looked exhausted.

“Hey. You didn’t reply to my texts.”

Kun tried to keep his voice light, but he had a strong feeling Leo knew he was angry. “You didn’t reply to mine either.”

Leo took a deep breath. He sat on one of the kitchen stools, looking at Kun standing opposite. “I’m sorry. I went crazy—I lost my mind. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I felt alone.”

“You didn’t text or call for _two_ weeks, Leo. You took selfies with a hundred different fans—”

“—more than a hundred,” Leo interjected wryly.

Kun continued as if he didn’t hear. “—and you couldn’t once say _'Hi, Kun, I_ _need some time'_?”

“I fucked up, Kun. I felt like all of you blamed me—”

“You thought _I_ blamed you? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

Leo’s hands were shaking a little now. “Well, let me tell you what it’s like, okay? All I heard was _trebletrebletreble_ everywhere. People were expecting me to do insane things and, you know what, Argentina is _not_ Barcel—” He stopped mid-sentence, looking horrified.

Kun shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s true. The two teams are different. You can’t compare them.”

Leo seemed to have run out of steam. “Yeah.”

Kun felt tired. “I know you’ve gone through a lot, Leo. But we weren’t just friends anymore. We were more than that. You should have—”

“ _Were_?”

Kun stopped, confused. Leo’s eyes were wide and there was a slight hint of something wild hanging around him now. “What?”

“You said we _were_ more than just friends. What do you mean _were_?”  Leo’s words were so carefully articulated, so restrained that Kun knew he was getting agitated.

Kun opened his mouth and closed it. He looked at Leo.

Leo stood up so suddenly, knocking his chair over in the process, that Kun flinched. “Are you breaking up with me?” Leo’s eyes were raw and suddenly Kun felt guilt overwhelm him.

But he remembered the two weeks. And felt suddenly that he was right to do this. Leo had gone through a tough time, but couldn’t he have sent _one_ text? Just one would have been enough.

You shouldn’t do that to the person you were… _involved_ with. It wasn’t right. It was downright cruel. Kun wasn’t going to take that. He wouldn’t have done that to Leo if the roles were reversed.

He met Leo’s eyes dead on, unflinchingly. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun. :D Haha, I couldn't resist. Anyway, please let me know what you think! And be gentle. There's going to be a happy ending. ;)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, that was quick of me! I felt bad for you guys. ;) Anyway, this chapter kind of ran away from me haha. I didn't really plan it out, it just did its own thing. So I hope you guys enjoy! :)

Kun couldn’t stop staring at Leo’s fists. They were balled so tightly by his sides, the knuckles were stark white against his sunburn. He focused on the hands because the silence was deafening, painful, overwhelming. He wanted to speak first—and the old Kun would have. The old Kun would have felt the need to placate Leo, the need to make him happy—the old Kun put Leo first _always_.

But something had changed in him. He was acutely aware that Leo could hurt him, could hurt him with something worse than rejection and betrayal—he could hurt him with _neglect_.

It had never occurred to him that being ignored was far worse than being rejected. Rejection was a humiliation, but it didn’t feel as all-encompassingly personal as being ignored did. It had shocked him how much he had trusted Leo and how easily it had broken, all in a few days.

“Why?” Leo’s voice was coarse, nothing like his usual soft slurry tones.

“Because I don’t trust you.”

It slipped out. He hadn’t meant to say that. He regretted it immediately. It was probably the worst thing he could say to Leo, the biggest insult. It was a slur not only on their romantic relationship, but their platonic one.

The thought rose that most likely their friendship was over, but he stuffed it down, knowing it would cause him hysteria and panic.

Leo’s face was so stunned, so full of hurt, Kun looked away. He felt guilt blind him for a second.

“What? _Why_?”

“Because it’s not enough that you’re around for the good stuff. What if something else bad happens and you go missing again? I don’t deserve that.” Kun’s voice was soft, devoid of anger. He felt heavy and sad.

“Kun, I made a _mistake—_ ”

“That’s probably true,” Kun interrupted quietly. “But I deserve better.”

Leo fell silent. He was staring at Kun, eyes wide, as if unable to believe that Kun could walk away so easily, could end it so abruptly. “So you won’t give me a second chance? How could you punish me for my first mistake?” For the first time, Leo’s voice was rising, a note of hysteria colouring his words.

It made Kun miserable. “Look, Leo, everyone deserves second chances. But something in me feels different.”

Leo moved quickly to come stand right in front of Kun. He reached for him, but Kun flinched in response and Leo froze. He swallowed hard, dropping his hand. “What do you mean? You don’t love me anymore?” Leo’s voice was low, almost broken.

“I still love you. I don’t think I can ever stop,” Kun laughed bitterly, watching relief ease Leo’s features. “But it doesn’t feel the same. I don’t trust you.”

“Because I didn’t text you for two weeks?”

Kun felt angry suddenly. Leo was making him sound like an overemotional toddler. And, damn it, Kun was entitled to how he was feeling. “You don’t get it, do you? I don’t trust you to not hurt me,” he snapped, finally fed up.

That was a blow. Kun could see Leo mentally reeling a little. He was quiet for a second, eyes searching Kun’s face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Kun.” Leo took a deep breath. “What I did was wrong, unforgiveable. But I was so—I felt that everyone must hate me. I know that makes no sense, but that’s how I felt.”

“I don’t believe you,” Kun said flatly.

Leo stared. “ _What_?”

“I don’t believe you thought I hated you. There’s no way I believe that.”

Leo looked away. “I—I knew you didn’t hate me, but—”

Kun laughed loudly, mirthlessly. “Lying to me now, huh?”

“Don’t be cruel, Kun,” Leo said through gritted teeth. His cheeks were flushed.

Kun turned away suddenly, rubbing his forehead. Leo was right. Kun had never been a bitter person and he didn’t need to start now. “Let’s go sit down. We can’t stand here all day.”

He led the way out of the kitchen, intensely aware of Leo following him. His body was still reacting to Leo, although not as badly as previously. Kun waited for Leo to sit first in a plush leather armchair before choosing a seat far away enough on the cushy couch to give himself a little bit of breathing space.

They were silent for a little while, Kun avoiding Leo’s gaze. Finally Leo leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “I knew you didn’t hate me, but I was ashamed to face you.”

Kun’s eyes snapped up at that. “What do you mean?” he asked, furrowing his brow.

“I feel like I let everyone down—”

Kun held up a hand firmly. “Let’s stop right there. We’re not going down that route. That loss wasn’t just your fault. It was all of us. We’re a team of 11, not 1.”

Leo rolled his eyes, but Kun could see the tension leaving his body. The fact that Leo had even _doubted_ , for a second, that Kun might blame him was baffling. He wondered suddenly if they both didn’t trust each other in the most fundamental way, in that all-important way, the thing that differentiated between love and lust.

He felt emotion rising and took a deep breath. The black hole was beckoning again, threatening to suck him under. He fought hard to regain calm, to focus on the conversation. He concentrated on Leo but he could feel the edges of his vision begin to blur.

But Leo knew immediately. He moved forward, moving to sit next to Kun, but not as close as he would have sat just a few weeks back. Gingerly, he placed a hand on Kun’s back. This time, Kun let the touch happen, didn’t flinch.

Seemingly gaining confidence, Leo’s hand began to rub gently up and down Kun’s back. Kun took a sudden shuddering breath and, to his horror, the emotion of the previous weeks rose in a huge wave inside his chest.

He hadn’t cried all these days, not once. Not since Masche had left him that text had he even shed a tear, or choked up. But now it was as if Leo’s one touch had unblocked a dam and he felt panicky, afraid of what was going to come through.

Leo was moving closer now. Kun could feel his warmth against the side of his body, emanating through his clothes. They were still not quite touching, but it was a distance of only a breath, really. Kun closed his eyes, willing his emotions to go away, but it was too much and he heaved a huge hiccupping breath, burying his face in his hands.

Leo’s arm was closing hard around his shoulders and, blindly, Kun turned into his arms. He buried his face against Leo’s chest and felt the grief of the loss again, as painful as it had been when he’d watched the trophy being lifted by someone in a Chilean jersey.

He didn’t cry, but it was a near thing. He held himself together through sheer will, pride rearing its head fiercely and demanding that Kun not cry in front of—

Well, Kun didn’t know what their relationship was called anymore and he wasn’t going to dwell on it. He could feel Leo still rubbing his back slowly, running his hand gently over his body. Kun decided to allow it. He himself wasn’t getting excited—surely a first—but he needed Leo’s warmth a little more. And so he closed his eyes and burrowed deeper in Leo’s embrace, wondering when he would next be able to enjoy this.

When Kun felt Leo’s lips gently grazing his forehead, he leaned back, pushing against Leo’s chest. “No, no.”

Leo let go immediately, but his eyes were intense. “I was just—”

Kun shook his head. He shifted further away from Leo. “You can’t just come back and kiss me. Things just don’t go back to the way they were.”

“I’m sorry,” Leo said, clearly frustrated, running his hands through his hair. “Please, Kun. Please give me a second chance.” He reached out to touch Kun, but Kun leaned away, wary.

Leo’s face tightened, but he said nothing. “I can’t, Leo. Honestly, I’m just really tired. I wish—”

Leo leaned forward. “What?”

Kun looked at him, eyes suddenly heavy. He wanted to sleep. He didn’t want to deal with Leo anymore. “I wish you would go. I just want to get to bed.”

Leo looked stricken. A part of Kun knew it was because Leo had come here fully expecting to kiss and make up, that he took Kun for granted, that Kun making a stand was a surprise to him.

The thought was irritating to Kun, but he also knew he was to blame. He had let it happen. He had allowed himself to become this _person_ who allowed Leo to do as he liked, to walk all over him, to simply crook a finger and beckon Kun, who’d run over like a lapdog.

He had let Leo take advantage of him. He had let Leo disrespect him in a way that both of them had probably never even noticed. And he was done with it.

“Kun, please,” Leo whispered. “Can’t I stay here tonight?”

Kun shook his head. “I don’t want you here. Please just go.” He could feel Leo staring at his bowed head. He wished Leo would just leave. He was so _tired_.

“Can I come back tomorrow?”

Kun lifted his head with effort. “Why?” he said tiredly.

“I just want to talk, please. I need to talk to you,” Leo said quietly.

Kun leaned his head against the back of the couch and felt his eyes almost sliding shut. He nodded slightly. “Okay. I’ll tell you when to come over.”

Leo nodded, his eyes holding a new wariness and respect that Kun had never seen before. Kun liked it. “Will you let yourself out?”

It was a dismissal. Leo stood, still staring. He lingered for a second, as if expecting Kun to call him back, but Kun just turned his head away, staring at the crackling fireplace opposite him. The spitting logs were soothing and he didn’t say anything as Leo left quietly.

When he heard the faint click of the front door closing, he closed his eyes, relief flooding him. With effort, he stood and, almost swaying, made his way quickly to his bedroom.

He fell fully clothed into bed and slid into sleep immediately.

* * *

When Kun woke the next morning, he lay for long minutes in bed, enjoying the peace. He could see his phone on the nightstand and wondered who had put it there before reasoning that the housekeeper must have done it when he was asleep.

He missed Benja terribly. He hadn’t spoken to him properly in days, weeks.

He took a deep breath and grabbed his phone. He dialed Gianni—his ex—hoping she was awake. She picked up on the second ring, sounding harried. “Hey, Kun!”

“Hey, Gianni. How are you?” Their conversations were always polite if a little stilted.

She ended the small talk fairly quickly, passing the phone to Benja. Benja was very determined to inform Kun that he’d had a slight fever the previous night. He proceeded to tell the story of the doctor’s appointment with so much excitement that Kun smiled, his heart squeezing with affection. He made the appropriate noises of wonder and disbelief, clucking his tongue in sympathy.

Benja talked for only a few minutes before losing interest and wandering off. Kun made Gianni put him on speaker phone but Benja’s favourite show was on and his interest could not be piqued. Kun said his goodbyes and hung up, smiling.

He felt better and calmer already. If he could handle not being with his son all the time, he could definitely handle Leo.

He sighed inwardly. He’d agreed to let Leo come over today. He wished there was a rule that banned people from making decisions when they were sleepy.

He rose slowly and his phone chirped. Glancing at it, he saw it was Leo. Unable to help himself, Kun smiled. He couldn’t remember the last time Leo had woken up this early on vacation.

Tapping his phone, he opened the text.

_Morning :)_ _when can I come over?_

Kun laughed out loud. Emojis? He didn’t think he’d ever seen Leo using one. It felt surprisingly good that Leo was trying this hard.

He tossed the phone aside without replying. Let Leo wait a bit. Padding to the bathroom, he was surprised by another chirp. He glanced over his shoulder. He could see the words shimmering on the lock screen of his phone: _Leo_.

Another text in less than a minute? Smiling uncontrollably, Kun made his way into the bathroom. He finished his morning ablutions quickly, but the solitude reminded him again of what had happened between them. He felt himself feeling that familiar sadness again.

Shaking his head, he forced himself to stop. He was so _tired_ of being sad, so tired of it. Copa America had come and gone—and wallowing wasn’t going to help anyone, least of all him. It still hurt, like a wound that was exposed and wouldn’t heal, but, damn it, he was done being sad.

He emerged from the bathroom feeling fresh but serious. He picked up his phone warily, opening Leo’s second text.

_Did you sleep well?_ _:)_

Kun tried hard not to smile, but gave in at the last minute. Leaning against a pillow, he typed back.

_You can come by after lunch._

He started scrolling through his emails, but to his astonishment, Leo replied to his text immediately.

_Not before? :(_ _please?_

Kun maintained a stern face. He tapped out a reply.

_I’m busy._

This time, he didn’t bother opening up his emails again because, sure enough, another text appeared in his inbox within a minute.

_:( okay. Can’t wait to see you._

Kun felt a slight fluttering in his chest, but tossed the phone aside. He wasn’t going to reply to that. Leo deserved to suffer a little. But he seemed to underestimate Leo. His phone chirped almost immediately.

_You didn’t reply to my question._

_Which?_

_Whether you slept well._ _:)_

_I did._

_Good_ _:)_

Kun shook his head. This was a bad idea. His heart was already softening and, although it was flattering to have Leo be so attentive and doing something he hated to do (texting), he knew that how he felt hadn’t changed. He still didn’t trust Leo and that was no way to carry on a relationship.

He firmly put his phone away and padded downstairs, deciding to have some coffee and wake himself up.

But he couldn’t help himself from pulling his phone out after a few minutes and rereading their conversation.

And, for the first time in a few weeks, Kun grinned freely.

~~

By the time Leo came over, Kun had calmed down. He opened the door to find Leo in a plain white T-shirt stretching tightly over his chest and knee-length denim shorts. He looked mouth-wateringly good and he’d shaved.

He smelled good, too. Of his familiar soap and shampoo. Kun stepped aside without murmuring a greeting, keeping his face impassive.

Leo was standing inappropriately close and there was a particular glint in his eye that Kun could recognize. It was when he looked at the goal—when he saw his way to it, when he knew he was going to score.

It was incredibly sexy, of course, but it was irritating. Did he think he was going to score here?

Frowning inwardly, more turned off by this than anything else, Kun led them into the kitchen. This time, Leo went to the fridge and helped himself calmly to some milk, looking at Kun as he drank from his glass.

Kun felt truly irritated now. Shouldn’t the person apologizing be somewhat humble? Perhaps appear meek and respectful?

Leo seemed somewhat cocky, almost swaggering around the kitchen, completely unlike his texts in the morning. Kun wondered what the hell had happened in the hours in between, but damned if he was going to ask. He eyed Leo irritably, deeply regretting allowing him to come over.

Leo sat down at the breakfast counter and smiled at Kun. Kun felt like throttling him.

“So,” Kun said coldly, pointedly.

Leo tilted his head, still smiling infuriatingly. “So.”

Kun dearly wished he could throw something at Leo’s head. He looked longingly at the vase of flowers next to him.

Leo seemed to sense this because he said, “I wanted to talk to you, Kun. About us.”

Kun glanced at him, ready to snap, but he saw Leo was serious now, eyes fixed warmly on Kun’s face. Caught slightly off guard, Kun tensed. “I don’t know what there’s really to say.”

“Why don’t you sit?” Leo said, nodding his chin to one of the stools opposite him.

Kun automatically moved towards the seat, but he caught himself. He didn’t have to do everything Leo said.

But this seemed a silly thing to take a stand on. (Pun not intended, of course.)

He shook his head inwardly at his thoughts, wondering if they were drifting slightly towards lunacy. He made his way to the stool, plopping down into one, not meeting Leo’s eyes.

“I made a mess of things yesterday,” Leo started, letting out a long breath. He huffed a breath of soft laughter. “Actually, I’ve been making a lot of messes lately.”

“—Where did you sleep last night?”

Surprised, Leo stared. “At a hotel.”

Kun nodded. He had forgotten to ask. And it had suddenly occurred to him that Leo must have slept somewhere. “Sorry, go on.”

Leo cleared his voice. “Right. Well. Like I was saying, I didn’t handle things the right away. I’m sorry, _truly_ sorry about what I did. I was completely wrong. There are no excuses. I should have called. I should have come met you. I was a bad boyfriend.”

Kun jerked. Leo noticed and flushed. “Sorry. I-I don’t know what else to call you. So I used to call you my boyfriend in my head. Is—is that okay?”

Kun nodded, tongue-tied. _Boyfriend_. The thought had never even occurred to him and here Leo had secretly been thinking that way about him all this time.

But if he’d been thinking of Kun as his boyfriend and he’d _still_ not even bothered to contact him—well, that just made things so much worse.

Kun felt his chest tighten and tried to concentrate on the conversation.

“I want a second chance. Please. Please, Kun. I’ll do anything.” Leo’s face was earnest and he was leaning forward, eyes warm.

Kun shook his head. “I don’t know, Leo…”

“Can you just do one thing for me? Can I just take you on a date?”

Kun’s cheeks reddened and his only solace was that Leo looked pretty embarrassed too. “What?”

“Like a proper date. Dressed up. Dinner and a movie. Or whatever you want. We can do anything.”

Kun looked at Leo wonderingly. Of course he’d dreamed of a date with Leo. But Leo was so uninterested in romantic gestures, so into living simply that Kun had thought Leo would never ever want to go on a real date with him.

Not without being coerced, of course.

“We can’t. People will talk.”

Leo leaned forward, talking quickly. “I’ve thought it through. We’ll do it here at your place. No one will know. You have a theatre. And I’ll take care of the food. What do you say?”

Kun was amazed. Had Leo ever planned a single thing in his whole damn life? Kun certainly couldn’t ever remember another time.

Leo seemed to sense that Kun was wavering because he kept talking. “You don’t have to do anything. I want to do this for you. I’ll take care of everything. You just have to get dressed and I’ll handle everything.”

“Wait.” Kun was starting to feel overwhelmed by this Leo, this Leo who apparently could suddenly take over events like dates. “When do you want to do this?”

“Tomorrow night.”

Kun stared at Leo. He had gone through the worst these past two weeks and he was putting it all aside for Kun. He felt a sudden rush of guilt.

“Leo—Leo, are you okay?” he asked falteringly.

Leo looked tense. He smiled slightly. “It is what it is. I have to move on.”

Kun felt a wave of admiration for him. How strong did Leo have to be to be able to rally this way, to be able to shoulder an entire world’s criticism and not buckle under?

“Why don’t we just postpone it to another time?”

Leo shook his head. “I have to go back to Barcelona soon. It’s now or never. And I want to forget, Kun,” he said quietly.

“It wasn’t your fault, Leo.”

Leo smiled at that. “I know. You don’t—”

“I do,” Kun interrupted. “I do. I want you to know that I’ll support you no matter what. You didn’t cause that… _that_. You did everything you could, but—it didn’t work. You’re still the best for me.”

There was something very soft in Leo’s eyes. “I know. I know, Kun. Thank you.” He paused, then smiled. “Now say yes. I want to take you on a date.”

“I haven’t agreed to getting back with you,” Kun warned. “It doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly be with you again.”

Leo smiled wider. “I know. Just say you’ll go on a date with me, say yes.”

Kun couldn’t help it. He smiled. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dateeeee. Kun is so lucky tbh. Can I please go on a date with Leo? :( 
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think! :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! But I hope this chapter makes up for it. ;)

Kun had forgotten how good it was to laugh. Leo was in a surprisingly chipper mood and he chattered on and on and, for once, Kun took a backseat. He watched Leo instead, watched him be his most entertaining self, watched him coax laugh after laugh from Kun.

The food was delicious, of course. But Kun hadn’t expected anything less. And that was the easy part of the night, anyway. It wasn’t as if Leo had cooked it himself and he could hire any chef he wanted. No, that wasn’t impressive on its own. But it was a nice bonus.

Kun also noticed that Leo kept refilling his wine glass whenever it was even half-empty. It made him smile, but he didn’t care because he wanted to forget. He wanted to be happy. And this was what he wanted.

Leo was what he wanted.

Leo had dressed to perfection today, wearing a tight black button-down shirt and cream pants. He looked deliciously good and it was only adding to the night. His hair was slicked back a little, but there was so little gel in it that it looked fresh rather than overdone.

Kun found himself falling quiet, almost mesmerized. He was still happy, but he felt he’d rather watch Leo try to please him—that in itself was the most seductive thing. It was surprisingly freeing to be courted rather than the other way around.

Leo was his most charming best, warm and funny and attentive. He was always those things, but this time he wasn’t being lazy. He was taking charge. Kun watched with interest. He felt himself softening, but he didn’t care—because he was giving himself a pass tonight.

He’d made the decision not long after he agreed to the date. He’d decided to be happy, to really enjoy Leo, to really enjoy this night. It wasn’t everyone who got Leo to themselves—and he wasn’t going to cut off his nose to spite his face.

So he put his anger aside and he let Leo seduce him.

Just for tonight.

And it was a seduction. Leo was so mesmerizingly attractive that Kun couldn’t take his eyes off him. Not that he looked especially good today—well, he _did—_ but that his eyes never left Kun’s, that his attention never wandered, that he was always smiling, always touching Kun.

After the meal was over, Kun stood up to find his head pleasantly swimming. He’d drunk more than he ought to. And perhaps Leo had intoxicated him a little too because he found he couldn’t stop smiling. They’d originally planned to watch a movie, but Kun shook his head.

He didn’t want to stop looking at Leo.

They adjourned to the living room and Leo waved him to the couch before starting the fire. Kun leaned back, his eyelids heavy with contentment and slight languor. When Leo straightened and faced him, Kun felt a powerful urge sweep through him—he _wanted_ Leo.

The sexual tension had come back tonight. Leo had ensured it had. He had touched Kun so many times, stoking a fire Kun had thought was dead and gone. And now Kun looked at Leo and he felt himself getting tired with struggling, struggling to always do the right thing, always trying to stay away from Leo, always being unhappy and alone.

Leo came and sat next to Kun on the couch and they were quiet for a little while. Leo handed Kun a glass of wine and Kun suppressed a grin. Leo’s eyes were sparkling, his cheeks slightly flushed with wine. But he was smiling and his eyes were intent.

“Did you like it?”

Kun raised his eyebrows. “Like what?”

Leo’s voice was soft. “The date?”

Kun smiled. “Yes,” he said. He didn’t want to deny it tonight. Fuck pride. He’d worry about it tomorrow. Leo was trying tonight. Tomorrow, Kun would be angry again. But tonight—tonight, he’d let himself have Leo.

Leo’s smile was slow, but full. “Good.”

They sat in silence for a little while. Finally, Leo smiled at him and launched into a story about his Barcelona teammates—Dani Alves had sung so brokenly and off-key one morning that Pique, who was completely hungover, had finally proceeded to pick him up and throw him in the garbage. Literally.

Kun laughed at that and Leo continued to tell him story after story, some of them ones that Kun hadn’t heard and some so old and familiar that Kun himself could recount it word-for-word. But he liked hearing Leo speak, liked the way his accent kissed the words seductively.

He didn’t think Leo had ever spoken this much before.

It made Kun feel a kind of joy that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It made him forget about every sad thing that had happened between them and it made him want Leo again. He felt flushed and content, his head swimming a little from the wine. He was just a shade tipsy, he realized. The atmosphere was overwhelmingly cozy, the fire crackling merrily, the lights dimmed—when had Leo done that?—and the couch so soft and comfortable, Kun had sunk into something of a languorous daze.

Leo was tipsy too. Kun could tell by the way he was smiling, lopsided and just a shade more than he usually would. Kun felt warmth rise in his stomach and he found himself staring at Leo, at how beautiful he was in the soft light, how his hair fell over his forehead, how his dimples flashed as he smiled, how the shirt molded to his defined chest.

And Leo wanted _him_.

Kun leaned his head against the back of the couch, weak with pleasure at the thought. They were just smiling at each other and then Leo slowly reached for Kun’s glass. It was empty and he carefully put it on the coffee table.

He turned to Kun and he wasn’t smiling anymore. Kun’s breath hitched. Leo’s eyes were intent, focused, cheeks flushed. He reached out for Kun’s fingers and interlaced their fingers slowly.

Maybe it was the alcohol but the sensation seemed heightened, the slow brushing of fingers sliding against each other, of skin rubbing against skin. Kun shivered, feeling arousal hit him low in his belly.

But he couldn’t take his eyes off Leo. The light was behind Leo so his face was now in shadow and Kun could only half make his features out. He was well aware that his own face was well-lit and he could only imagine what his expression was.

Kun’s breathing got heavier. Leo was rubbing their hands together slowly, stroking Kun’s fingers slowly, until Kun’s skin felt hot and sensitive all over. Leo was coming closer and closer now, his head moving towards Kun’s inexorably.

Kun’s head was still leaning against the back of the couch and Leo bent over him, his head tilted just over Kun’s. Kun went slack, unable to move, but so aroused his head was swimming from sensation and pleasure and _Leo_.

Leo was very close now, his mouth just hovering over Kun’s. But he didn’t close the gap. Instead he stayed like that for what felt like the longest minute, drawing out the moment until Kun felt his head spin. He could feel Leo’s breath puffing gently against his parted lips. His eyes were heavy and he couldn’t take his eyes off Leo’s mouth.

Kun was almost panting now, his cock so hard and throbbing he almost felt like he could come if Leo simply kissed him. He wanted Leo’s mouth over his so much it was driving him crazy, but he felt tongue-tied, unable to either ask or move forward and kiss him.

Instead Leo simply waited, simply let a near-kiss become one of the hottest moments of Kun’s life. Kun felt like his bones were made of jelly, so weak with arousal he almost moaned from it. Finally, _finally_ , Leo leaned in just that fractional inch and touched Kun’s lips with his mouth.

Leo’s mouth was warm and dry and it felt so good, it made Kun’s crotch throb pleasurably. It was a butterfly kiss, soft and gentle, with Leo slowly just rubbing his lips against Kun’s. One of Kun’s hands was still in Leo’s, but with the other he reached up to grasp Leo’s shirt and felt his warm, hard body.

Leo’s mouth was pressing a little more firmly against Kun’s now, deepening the kiss. Kun went completely boneless now, leaning heavily into the couch and Leo followed, tilting his head. Kun felt breathless and panted slightly. Leo took swift advantage, his tongue slowly beginning to explore Kun’s mouth.

Kun moaned now, fisting Leo’s shirt harder. Leo moaned in return and the sound was electric, so incredibly hot in the otherwise quiet room, Kun felt his heart pound and his skin flush and heat. They were kissing deeply now, long, lazy slow kisses.

Kun wanted, for one brief second, to kiss Leo forever. It would be enough. Just to have his mouth move over Kun’s like this, to have him fill up all of Kun’s senses so that no one existed but Leo, so that it was Leo overwhelming him with his scent, his touch, his kiss.

The kiss went on, heating up but still at that incredibly slow pace. And in a hazy part of Kun’s mind, he thought that this was exactly what a first date kiss should be. With your best friend. A kiss that set you on fire, but stayed reined.

But that was his last rational thought for a long time as Leo’s hands slowly slid into his hair, tilting his head deeper. The kiss was one of the best Kun had ever had, slow and sensual. But he was running out of breath and when he started seeing spots in his vision, he ended the kiss on a gasp, turning his head.

Leo didn’t seem to want to stop. He was panting in Kun’s ear, nuzzling him, brushing kisses over Kun’s jaw and neck. Kun sighed and leaned his head back, letting Leo have more access. When Leo kissed him right under his ear, Kun shivered in pleasure. He put a hand on Leo’s chest and pushed.

Reluctantly, Leo leaned back. Leo’s face was a lesson in arousal, pupils dilated, cheeks flushed, lips parted. Kun felt a surge of satisfaction at seeing it, his dick getting harder.

They looked at each other for a minute and then Leo said, voice low, “I want to fuck you.”

Kun was glad he was sitting down. Stunned, he stared at Leo, speechless. Realising that Kun was rendered mute, Leo continued. “I want you. I want to fuck you. Now.”

Kun was sure he would come if Leo kept talking. Each word had made him throb, made him so hard he had leaked inside his pants. Leo leaned forward and slowly brushed his lips against Kun’s. Kun’s eyes fluttered close and he let Leo kiss him slowly, let Leo’s tongue explore his mouth.

When Leo broke the kiss, he whispered against Kun’s mouth. “Let me tonight. Please.”

And Kun, drunk on wine and Leo and so hard he couldn’t think, said, “Yes.”

Leo’s kiss was hard, possessive, full of a fierce primal pleasure Kun could feel. Kun could hear his pulse thundering through his entire body, his head filled with excitement and fear and nervousness.

Leo leaned back, panting. “Bedroom?”

Kun felt disoriented. He nodded. He stood up and so did Leo. He was just about to lead the way when Leo stopped him, kissing him again. Kun swayed a little, leaning hard against Leo, but Leo took his weight easily, still kissing him hungrily as if he couldn’t get enough.

When he broke the kiss, Kun’s head was spinning. He walked unsteadily out of the room, very aware that Leo was right behind him, that he was quite possibly staring at Kun’s ass. The thought made him both very anxious and also very aroused. He wondered if he’d embarrass himself by coming too quickly.

_Dear God, please, please, no._

He went up the stairs as coolly as he could, trying to ignore Leo’s soft breathing behind him. When they entered the bedroom, Kun felt the beginnings of embarrassment flutter in his stomach, but Leo wasted no time. He kissed Kun immediately, a finger hooking into Kun’s pants, tugging him closer.

Kun let Leo kiss his fear away, let Leo kiss him slowly, lazily, mouths sloppy and wet and rough and _good_. Kun pushed Leo towards the bed and, tipsily, they both fell into it, tumbling and laughing against each other’s mouths.

Leo rolled half on top of him and kept kissing him, a half-smile still on his lips. But the second Kun spread his legs under Leo, causing a change in position which caused their bulges to press against each other, Leo’s smile disappeared.

He kissed Kun harder, his fingers coming up to grip Kun’s hair. Kun responded in kind, feeling the urgency build. There was going to an _end_ , finally. The thought was heady and he felt pleasure and confidence filling him.

Leo sat up after a few minutes. He pulled off his own shirt, then reached for Kun’s. Kun sat up too so that Leo could pull it off easier. They were panting now and Kun suddenly felt eager to touch Leo’s skin, to kiss it all over.

He reached for Leo, but Leo caught his hands and kissed Kun instead. Kun subsided, letting Leo push him gently into the bed. Leo reached for his pants and started unzipping him. Kun’s breath hitched and he moaned a little, letting Leo loosen them and gently work them down Kun’s hips. He raised his hips and Leo removed them completely.

Kun was almost naked and he was very aware that his erection was straining in his underwear, very visible to Leo. Leo started gently rubbing him over his underwear, making Kun sigh and arch a little, eyes fixed on Leo’s.

Leo’s eyes were appreciative and Kun could tell. He was openly looking Kun over and Kun felt a rush of confidence when his eyes returned to Kun’s and they were fierce and intense. Leo leaned forward and kissed him again as he kept rubbing, his hand now moving roughly over the material, dragging it back and forth.

Kun bucked up into Leo’s hands and it made Leo sit up, breaking the kiss. He reached for Kun’s underwear and pulled it down smoothly, freeing Kun’s cock. Kun panted, cheeks reddening. Leo stroked his cock slowly, his thumb running over the head gently.

Kun’s eyes closed and he arched his back, sighing in pleasure as Leo worked his dick. He was already so close, so close that he could have come in a few strokes. But Leo stopped, getting off the bed. He was slowly unbuckling his belt, removing his pants and then his underwear, eyes hot and looking at Kun.

Kun propped himself up on an elbow, blatantly ogling Leo. Leo’s body was lean and hard, all shifting muscles and pale smooth skin. Kun’s mouth watered and he forced himself to lie down to stop himself from reaching for Leo.

Leo seemed to know because his eyes sharpened. He half-smiled and got back on the bed quickly, kissing Kun deeply. They were both completely naked now. The feeling of naked, warm skin rubbing against each other was so erotic that Kun gasped in pleasure against Leo’s mouth, bucking into him.

Leo broke the kiss then, panting harshly. “Turn around,” he said hoarsely.

Kun moaned in anticipation, rolling onto his hands and knees. “Lube’s in the drawer.” He could barely think, unable to believe that finally, _finally_ Leo was going to fuck him.

He leaned forward, bracing his head on his hands, listening to the sounds. He could hear Leo rummaging and then he got back on the bed, kneeling behind Kun. He stroked Kun’s bottom slowly, appreciatively. Kun heard Leo suck in a breath as Kun moved back, pressing himself into Leo’s hand.

Smiling to himself, Kun kept his face turned into his hands, glad that Leo couldn’t see his face. He could hear him opening the bottle of the lube and he felt himself throb in pleasure and anticipation.

“Kun,” Leo said hoarsely. “Are you okay?”

Kun nodded, though Leo couldn’t see it. “Just do it, just fuck me.”

Leo moaned at Kun’s words. And then Kun felt Leo’s finger stroke his entrance and he forced himself to relax, to not tighten in reflex. Leo’s finger played with his opening for a while until finally Kun pushed back and Leo got the message.

Gently, slowly, he pushed past the ring of muscle, sliding in slowly. Kun bit his lip, trying not to moan. It had been a long time since someone had fucked him and he was tighter than he’d imagined he would be. And Leo’s fingers were thicker than he’d pictured.

But Leo was gentle, patient. He waited for Kun to push back impatiently to move again. He moved in and out slowly, the dragging and the friction not _pleasurable_ per se but the knowledge that it was _Leo_ was so fucking hot, it made Kun’s head spin.

It seemed to turn Leo on too because his breathing was ragged. He started moving in slowly and deep. “Is this okay?” His voice was hardly a breath.

Kun lifted his head weakly. “Yes it’s— _oh_.” He dropped his head back into his hands, overwhelmed. Leo had unwittingly found his prostate on his last thrust, gently pressing into it and sending pleasure straight through Kun.

“Is—was that it?” Leo said, voice rough.

“Yes,” Kun said, voice shaking. “That’s it. Do it again.”

It was hard trying to have a sane conversation when his body was throbbing as if Leo was already fucking him, as if he was already coming.

Leo pushed in the same direction and although it took him a few thrusts to get it consistently, he started brushing the prostate and Kun closed his eyes, weak with sensation. It was too much. Knowing it was Leo, knowing what they were doing, _feeling_ the pleasure.

He started moving his hips back into Leo, needing more. Leo seemed to understand and slowly added a second finger. It burned and Kun tried not to hiss in pain, not wanting to scare Leo. But once Leo had stretched him a little, the sensation of the second finger against Kun’s prostate, the additional stretch and friction made him moan, unable to be silent.

It was starting to feel incredibly good and his cock was getting too sensitive, rubbing against the sheets as Kun kept moving back on Leo’s fingers. He could feel Leo suddenly bend over him, kiss him between the shoulder blades.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

It made Kun hotter and he moaned in response. “More,” he whimpered.

Leo complied, sliding in a third finger. This one was hard. This one felt more like pain than pleasure and Kun had to grit his teeth hard not to make a sound. It eased quickly though after Leo kept pressing against his prostate and soon his cock was throbbing again.

He arched and panted, riding Leo’s fingers. It was unbearably good, Leo’s slick fingers moving and coaxing sensation from him, his aching, sensitive cock rubbing against the sheets as he moved his hips back and forth. Leo was moving in faster and Kun was starting to wonder if he could come just on Leo’s fingers. Finally, unable to wait any longer, he moaned, “Please, fuck me.”

Leo stopped then, slowly pulling out his fingers. Kun buried his face into his arms, both scared and desperate to be fucked. It would hurt like hell. Leo wasn’t the biggest he’d ever had, but he was pretty damn thick. And he wasn’t sure if he could take it.

Leo was stroking his back lightly as if he knew Kun was worried. Kun could also hear the lube bottle being opened up and knew Leo was slicking himself up. The thought was so arousing that he whined a little in anticipation.

He felt Leo drip lube onto his entrance and he thanked God that Leo had educated himself fairly thoroughly on the mechanics of this. It would have been embarrassing to explain everything every step of the way.

The thought flew out of his mind at the feeling of Leo’s cock brushing his entrance gently. Breath hitching, Kun braced himself, trying to relax but failing.

“Kun, baby—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Just do it,” Kun mumbled back, voice muffled.

Leo leaned down, kissing his back and his neck. Kun relaxed a little, enjoying the kisses, trying to concentrate on that until he felt Leo start to push. Instantly, Kun knew it wasn’t going to be easy. Leo felt thicker than he looked—and now Kun knew just how thick. It burned and stretched and plain _hurt_ and he couldn’t help whimpering in pain.

He wondered how bad it would have been if he’d been a virgin.

Reaching underneath his body, he started to stroke himself, trying to relax as Leo kept pushing in. Immediately, Leo stopped. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine,” Kun said, teeth gritted, determined to get it over with. “Just keep going.”

Leo moved in deeper and Kun wondered if it would ever end until he felt Leo’s thighs against his. Breathing a sigh of relief, he closed his eyes and stopped stroking himself. Instead he croaked, “Don’t move. Just for a second.”

Leo stopped immediately and Kun would’ve thought it was almost easy for him except he could feel Leo’s thighs trembling with the sheer effort. Part of his mind felt grateful, while the rest of him was cursing Leo for all the pain he was wreaking.

Leo started to mouth Kun’s back, sucking and licking. Kun concentrated on his tongue, on the feeling of Leo’s body wrapped around his, his cock buried deep in Kun’s ass, their entire bodies touching everywhere. The knowledge was inherently incredibly hot and Kun felt himself starting to get aroused again, started feeling himself relax.

The pain was easing, although not going away completely. Exhausted, he moved his hips a little, a silent signal for Leo.

Leo understood immediately and started to make small, tiny movements in and out of Kun’s ass. Frankly, it couldn’t even be called thrusts because the degree was fractional. But the slow shifting movements got Leo in the perfect position and suddenly the head of his cock brushed Kun’s prostate.

Instantly, Kun arched, moaning. Leo stiffened, but immediately kept making small tiny thrusts aimed at the spot. Because Leo was hardly withdrawing his cock at all, it meant almost continuous stimulation of Kun’s prostate and, before long, the discomfort and pain of Leo’s penetration was all but forgotten, buried under the overwhelming sensation of pleasure.

And _, fuck_ , was it good.

Kun was going out of his mind, whimpering, moaning, crying out. But he desperately wanted to kiss Leo and, finally, he said, “Stop, stop.”

Leo withdrew immediately and Kun felt a wave of gratitude at how quick the response was. He rolled over, laying on his back and drawing up his knees and looked up at Leo. “Like this. Please.”

Leo’s expression had been horrified, worried he’d done something wrong, but now it turned hot and intent within seconds. To Kun’s surprise, he gently placed a pillow under Kun’s hips. He placed his cock at Kun’s entrance, breathing harshly.

He looked at Kun who arched upwards. Instantly, Leo begin to bury himself in Kun, moving in one smooth, long slide. Kun moaned in pleasure. Leo leaned forward, bracing himself up on his elbows. He kissed Kun then, their mouths sloppy and rough as Leo kept making tiny forward and backward movements.

It was perfection, Leo fucking him slowly, his cock brushing Kun’s prostate with every thrust, his mouth moving lazily over Kun’s. The tempo increased so gradually that Kun couldn’t really tell when it became harder, when it became faster, but it just seemed that Leo gave him exactly what he wanted before he could say anything.

He closed his hand around his cock, desperate for relief now, ready to come. Immediately, Leo, mouth still on Kun’s, pulled it away. Instead he wrapped his own hand around Kun’s damp, hard cock and begin to pump it lazily.

Kun immediately cried out against Leo’s mouth, bucking up in pleasure. Leo, sensing the urgency, begin to move his hand hard and fast, dragging the skin tightly and quickly back and forth. He was thrusting faster now, harder, trying to give Kun what he wanted.

Kun was a mess now. He’d been reduced to a sobbing mass of sensation. Because it was coming from all sides and the pleasure was only increasing, rising in him like a wave, cresting and peaking and crescendoing until finally Kun _came_.

His ass clenched hard around Leo’s cock as he came and this might have been the final stimulation because Leo began to come too, burying his face in Kun’s neck and moaning and panting. “Fuck, fuck, so good,” Leo moaned against Kun’s neck and Kun felt a savage pleasure that it was his body making Leo feel like this, it was his ass, it was _fucking_ Kun that did that to Leo.

But he couldn’t dwell on it too much because his orgasm was incredible and all-encompassing. He spurted on and on over his stomach, coming so strong he could feel it everywhere.

When Leo finally pulled out, rolling off of Kun but pulling him close, Kun felt as if someone had given him a sleeping pill. He was filled with warm drowsiness, a feeling of intense and complete lethargy and languor. Unable to help himself, he closed his eyes, luxuriating in feeling Leo’s body against him.

And slept peacefully for the first time in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaah. Finally, right? So we have the aftermath of this to deal with in the next chapter. Just as a heads up, this was my first attempt at writing... this, so I'm sorry if I didn't quite do it justice. Anyway, please let me know what you think! :)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Please enjoy. :)

Kun slipped out of bed with a throbbing headache. Luckily, Leo was sprawled on his stomach on the far side of the bed and didn’t sstir. Kun glanced back at Leo and sighed regretfully at the fact that the sheet was covering almost his entire body.

He moved out of the bedroom as noiselessly as he could, rubbing his forehead. God, he needed some coffee. Unbidden, some of the memories of the previous night hit him and he felt his face heat. He couldn’t help smiling, touching his lips in a half-hearted attempt to control himself.

He descended the stairs still grinning and had to give himself a sternly worded lecture about controlling himself. Because it had been a one-time thing. Granted, it had been the best fucking night of his life—emphasis on _fucking—_ but that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t want to get back with Leo. He needed space and time.

The idea of a long distance relationship had always stressed him out and he didn’t want to do it with someone who was entering into this relationship as something of a virgin. Sure, Leo had been with other people before, but he hadn’t been in a _gay_ relationship and it came with its own set of rules. How could a footballer—especially one as famous as Leo—ever be open about it? 

The media would tear them apart.

Besides, maybe Leo wasn’t really into guys. Maybe his feelings for Kun stemmed for love and that had spilled over into sexual feelings. Kun truly didn’t know if that was possible. It was too confusing. And he didn’t want any part of it anymore.

But he had wanted that one night. And, _damn_ , it had been worth it. It had been so good to have Leo exactly the way he’d always pictured, so good to have Leo all his, in every way.

He was just perching on one of his kitchen stools, a cup of a steaming hot coffee in his hand, when Leo walked into the kitchen. Leo gave him one of those special smiles, reserved for only a very few. He came around the kitchen counter directly to Kun, his eyes warm and dancing.

“Hi, baby,” he murmured. And before Kun could really do anything, he had kissed him.

It was supposed to be a morning peck, Kun guessed. But after a few minutes, it became very clear that yesterday had only stoked the fire, not put it out. Because Leo’s head would not lift and Kun wasn’t exactly pushing him away either. They were kissing and kissing, Leo’s mouth tasting like toothpaste, minty and cool and hot all at once.

It was astonishing how quickly the kiss heated. It had never happened this swiftly between them before and Kun realized, belatedly, what a terrible idea sleeping with Leo had been. Because there was no way he was going to ever be able to say no again.

But surely he had to try?

He finally broke the kiss and immediately scrambled off the stool, rounding the counter and putting some much-needed space between.

Leo was frowning, looking a little confused. “What’re you doing? Come here,” he said, making to follow Kun.

“Wait, stop!” Kun said, holding up a hand, still backing up.

Leo froze, eyes widening now. “Oh my god, are you still saying no?”

Kun flushed. “Listen, it was just one night—”

“I _cannot_ believe you!” Leo said, his hands coming to grasp his hair. He was staring at Kun with so much disbelief that it was almost comical.

Kun kept backing up. And, to his astonishment, Leo started advancing on him, face grim and determined.

“Listen, listen, just relax a little.”

“I’m very relaxed,” Leo said casually, his mouth set. His eyes were fixed on Kun’s, narrowed, fierce.

Kun wondered why his pants were tightening in a very humiliating way. _Concentrate_. He shook his head inwardly, trying to focus. Instantly, he realized his momentary lapse had resulted in him backing himself against the kitchen wall. He had cornered himself. How clever.

He looked at Leo who was still advancing, stopping only when he was just an inch away, _just_ a breath away from touching Kun. Leo’s eyes were so furious, so angry, Kun almost felt the force of it burning his skin.

“So. What’s the trouble? I didn’t fuck you good enough?”

The words were so casually said that Kun almost didn’t realize how cruel they were until a moment passed. “Fuck you,” Kun spat. “You think this is about sex? Well, then, fuck you, man.”

But Kun could detect a slight note of relief in Leo’s eyes and felt a little bad. Maybe it hadn’t been the most sensitive thing for him to break up with Leo right after Leo's first time. It _had_ been Leo’s first time with a man—and Leo had clearly been very insecure about the whole thing. He softened a little. “It was good. Amazing. But it’s not about that.”

But Leo looked distracted. “It was good, huh?” He was smiling. He leaned in for a kiss and Kun turned his head, exasperated, amused and aroused. Not the best combination when a man was hungover too.

“Stop, Leo,” Kun said, but he was smiling too.

Leo sighed, his mouth close to Kun’s cheek. He leaned back a little, but didn’t bother stepping back, preferring to crowd Kun and give him no breathing or thinking space.

Kun dragged in a breath, trying not to be distracted by his arousal. He looked at Leo. “Listen, it was just a one-time thing. I don’t—”

“No.”

Kun stopped. “What do you mean, no?”

Leo’s face was stony. “It’s not a one-time thing. I don’t accept.”

Kun suddenly felt a laugh bubbling inside him and had to chew the inside of his mouth to keep from letting it out. Leo was such a child sometimes. So stubborn. “Well, it’s not your choice alone—”

“And it’s not your choice alone, either.”

They glared at each other. “I _don’t_ want to be in a relationship,” Kun said, gritting his teeth.

Leo eyed him for a few seconds. “Deal.”

That made Kun snap his head back in shock. “What?” he said, dumbfounded.

“I agree,” Leo said cheerfully. “Let’s not do the boyfriend thing.” But Leo was inching closer, Kun noticed. He placed his hands very decidedly on either side of Kun’s head, leaning in, voice dropping.

Kun pressed himself against the wall. He fought to keep his head. “And you’re okay with that?”

Leo was so close now, his breath was puffing against Kun’s lips. “A-okay.”

Kun frowned. “What are you up to, Messi?”

Leo laughed, but his eyes were still sharp. “I have an alternate proposition.”

“What’s that?” Kun asked warily.

Leo grinned. He paused, drawing out the moment, then said, voice low, “Friends with benefits.”

Never had three words made Kun so hard before. “ _No_ ,” Kun said emphatically, shaking his head. "No, no, no."

“Did you like it when I fucked you?” Leo asked bluntly.

Kun was starting to get a little breathless. This conversation wasn’t good for him. He wished Leo would just _ease_ back, just a tiny bit so he could calm down. But Leo was one clever bastard. He was deliberately doing this, forcing Kun to think while he was aroused. “Fuck you, you know I did,” he ground out.

Leo didn’t smile but he looked so smug that Kun wanted to kick him. “So don’t you want that, then? Don’t you want me to fuck you?” He leaned in, resting his body weight against Kun for just one delicious second, letting him feel his erection. “Over… and over… and over?” he said slowly, voice dropping with each word.

Kun finally realized what seduction meant. This was it. This was what it meant when someone tried to arouse you, when someone made you so hot that you felt you’d die if you didn’t have them.

Kun closed his eyes in some desperate attempt to calm himself down. “No. Leo, no. I made up my mind.”

Leo’s voice suddenly sounded next to Kun’s left ear and Kun jumped, realizing Leo had moved. “Did you now? So you don’t want me to ever fuck you again? Or… suck your cock?”

Kun’s eyes flew open and he snapped his eyes to Leo. He was throbbing so hard in his pants he felt like he’d come right here and now. Speechless, he stared at Leo.

All amusement had vanished from Leo’s face. He met Kun’s eyes firmly, unwaveringly. “Tell me you don’t want it.”

Kun couldn’t get one word out. He was almost panting now, so aroused he wished he’d never made the stupid decision in the first place.

But he knew where this would end if he said yes once.

“I don’t want it,” he said hoarsely.

“I don’t believe you,” Leo said. “You want me. You want me fucking you. You want it right now. And you know what, Kun? I _want_ to fuck you.”

Kun moaned. He couldn’t help it. He’d never thought Leo would have such a filthy mouth. Was this the same guy who’d blushed when talking about blowjobs?

“Say it,” Leo said, voice low, his eyes intense. “Say you want me to fuck you.”

Kun swallowed. “No.”

Leo smiled a little. “Do you want me to… _make_ you say it?”

Kun’s eyes widened. Was this _Lionel Messi_?

But it was. And, truth be told, it wasn’t that hard to believe. This was the determination that had made Leo what he was today. Leo never took no for an answer.

“Leo, stop. Just listen to me,” Kun said quickly. His heart was thrumming.

“First, say it.”

“Listen. I don’t think this could work between us. There are too many complicated factors. There are too many things fucking it up. I don’t want to deal with it.”

Leo was silent, listening. “You’re still talking about a relationship.”

Kun frowned. “Yes.”

Leo shook his head slowly, eyes intent. “I’m just talking about fucking. What’s your issue there?”

Kun wished Leo would stop using that word. It was… _arousing_. “You know it would complicate things.”

“How?” Leo asked simply.

Kun gaped at him. Flustered, he pushed at Leo’s chest. “Can you please give me some room to breathe?”

Leo eased back at that, but he didn’t back up too much. He waited, jamming his hands into his pockets. His eyes, black, looked unwaveringly at Kun’s.

Kun took a deep breath, both missing Leo crowding him and also a little relieved. “Leo, things would get fucked up if we… did that. Feelings would be hurt.”

“You think I’d ever hurt your feelings?” Leo asked quietly.

Kun swallowed. It had to be said. “Yes.”

Leo’s eyes flickered, but he didn’t back away. Kun admired that. “I’m sorry. I never meant to do that. I would never hurt you like that again. I would never, Kun.”

Kun shook his head. “How do you know?”

Leo rubbed a hand over his mouth, suddenly looking exhausted. “I know. But you’re the one who doesn’t.”

That struck Kun silent. He dropped his eyes, away from Leo. He felt suddenly tired and sad. What had happened to them? He wished he could forgive Leo. No, not forgive him. He had already forgiven him. But he couldn’t forget.

“So you won’t even let me fuck you?”

Kun looked up at that. Irritated, he snapped, “Stop using that word.”

Leo searched his face quickly, then smiled a little. He approached Kun slowly. “Which word?”

Kun flushed. He had lost his erection at their conversation, but it was twitching back to life. “Leo, no. Stop.”

“But I’m confused, Kun. You don’t want me to fuck you?”

Kun gritted his teeth. “Fuck you!” he snapped, utterly fed up.

“No,” Leo said, smiling fully now. “Fuck _you_.”

Kun glared at him. “That was the worst thing I’ve ever heard.”

Leo flashed a quick mischievous smile. He was standing very close to Kun now. “Tell me this is okay, Kun. Tell me that. Tell me fucking you is okay,” he said, very serious now.

“I’m scared, Leo,” Kun said suddenly. He regretted it immediately, closing his eyes.

Leo’s lips were brushing his ear. “I know, baby. I’m scared too. But you want me. And I want you. Isn’t that enough?”

Was it? Kun’s head was swimming. Leo made it sound so easy, so uncomplicated. Leo made it sound like there weren’t any feelings involved. But there _were_.

Kun’s.

And surely, Leo’s.

“I don’t want you,” Kun said so weakly, it was embarrassing.

“You do.”

And, suddenly, Kun gave up. He couldn’t deny himself this anymore. “I do,” he sighed.

Leo snapped back, his face full of fierce pleasure. “Tell me what you want.”

Kun shook his head. “Wait. I don’t want any commitments. I’ll go back to my usual activities in Manchester,” he said, lifting his chin. Kun could see that that bothered Leo.

A muscle was ticking in his cheek. “Fine,” he ground out. “So we’re friends with benefits.”

Kun eyed Leo. “No. We’re nothing. We’re just friends. If I’m in the mood, then… well. Otherwise, no.”

Leo smiled suddenly. “Oh, if _you’re_ in the mood, huh? And what if I am?”

Kun shrugged carelessly. “Jack off.”

Leo grinned. “Deal.”

Kun kept his face impassive. “Deal.”

“So, Kun,” Leo said mischievously, leaning in, “What word did you not want me to use?”

* * *

Kun seriously wondered whether this much sex could be good for anyone. They were insatiable. If it wasn’t Leo initiating, it was Kun. It was a wonder their dicks hadn’t fallen off. Kun’s ass did get sore after a while and, for a while, they did _other_ things, which, Kun had to admit, was equally delightful.

But they didn’t leave the bed. It was only when evening struck that Kun began to get nervous. He didn’t want to spend the night with Leo again. It made things complicated.

So after they ate the sushi Leo had ordered, Kun cleared his throat. “So, Leo, you probably should go.”

It was blunter that it needed to be, but they had never danced around each other and damned if he was going to start now.

Leo looked surprised. “Why? You don’t want me to sleep here?” Grinning suddenly, he rolled to Kun, brushing his lips against Kun’s neck. “I promise we won’t sleep.”

Kun was disgusted to find that his cock actually twitched at that. “No, get lost. I need to sleep.”

Leo sighed against Kun’s neck. He came up and kissed Kun slowly, nibbling on his lips. “Once more. And then I’ll go.”

Kun sighed too. “You’ll be the death of me.” But his arms were already coming around Leo’s neck, his legs already spreading a little.

“Are you still sore?” Leo murmured against Kun’s mouth.

And Kun was. A little. But he wanted Leo in him. So he shook his head. Leo kissed him hard in reply, tongues tangling. They were both wearing bathrobes and it was easy to discard them, tossing them cleanly away.

Leo reached for the lube automatically, knowing exactly where it was. Kun inwardly smiled at that. But when Leo slicked up his fingers, Kun’s amusement vanished. He was panting now in anticipation. Leo leaned in for a kiss, bending over Kun. They kissed for a long while, mouths open, sloppily.

Leo broke the kiss first, leaning back. He caressed Kun’s cock, rubbing the head with his thumb. Kun jerked upwards, but Leo withdrew his hand.

He spread Kun’s thighs widely. “Fuck,” Leo breathed, resting on his haunches. “You look so hot.”

Kun felt himself flush with embarrassment and heat. “Just do it.”

Leo’s finger slipped inside him at that, knuckle deep, and Kun arched at the sudden intrusion, making a soft sound. It ached a little but he was greedy for more. Leo added another finger almost instantly, scissoring inside Kun. Kun made little needy sounds, moaning, hips rocking.

Leo’s fingers found Kun’s prostate almost instantly and Kun closed his eyes in pleasure. Leo was getting so _good_ at this. Leo’s fingers moved in and out slowly, lingeringly. Kun rocked his hips in response, riding Leo’s fingers, moaning.

When Leo added a third finger, Kun felt the soreness from before return. He hissed in pain, eyes flying open. Leo stilled instantly. “What? Are you okay?”

Kun gestured for Leo to kiss him and Leo leaned down immediately. They kissed slowly and Kun whispered, “Keep moving your hand.”

So Leo thrust his fingers in and out slowly, all the while kissing Kun. And Leo’s mouth was always so distractingly good, it made Kun relax, made Leo’s fingers ache less inside him and when Leo started brushing the prostate again in slow gentle strokes, Kun moaned long and low.

That was Leo’s signal to add another finger and Kun sighed, not minding the burn. He never did when he was surrounded by Leo like this, skin to skin, mouths clinging.

Leo fucked him gently for a little while with his fingers until Kun’s hips started moving, until Kun started riding Leo’s fingers, desperate for _more_.

“Please,” Kun whispered.

Leo straightened then, hooking Kun’s knees in his arms. He adjusted his cock against Kun’s entrance, brushing, teasing. Then when Kun arched up, Leo sank in, filling Kun slowly, deeply. Kun didn’t make a sound but his lids fell, his neck arching up as he processed the sensation.

It was less painful than it had been yesterday, but he was a bit sore from their activities. Leo began to thrust shallowly, adjusting angles until finally Kun’s breath hitched and he arched in pleasure. Leo smiled and began to thrust in that direction, hitting Kun’s prostate over and over.

They had come so many times that Kun knew it would take a while this time around. Leo’s hand wrapped around his cock and began to stroke and Kun moaned. It was so good, almost _too_ good. Leo’s hips were working at the same slow pace, seemingly content to make this last forever.

Leo leaned over Kun, still moving, still hitting that spot. He began to mouth at Kun’s shoulder, kissing the bare skin there, sucking and licking. Kun closed his eyes, focusing on all the sensations assaulting him. Of Leo’s cock brushing his prostate, of Leo’s hand rubbing him so good, of Leo’s mouth kissing and sucking and licking.

“Fuck, yes, Leo, yes,” Kun began to babble. He had always been more voluble than Leo in bed and now he couldn’t control himself, words spilling out of him.

Leo let him go on and on, kissing his neck, his ear, while constantly stroking his cock, constantly slamming into Kun.

When Kun finally did come, it came not as a sudden onrushing assault on his senses, but a slow build up of pleasure. Every time he expected it to be the peak, it kept stretching out, kept building until finally Kun thought he’d go mad.

And, finally, _finally_ , the pleasure crested and with one stroke _down_ and one stroke _up_ of Leo’s hand on his cock, Kun was coming and coming and coming.

He spurted all over his stomach and felt Leo moaning and coming too inside him.

Leo rolled off of him onto his side. He then climbed out of bed, putting on his jeans. Kun watched drowsily, a little disappointed, but wanting it anyway. When Leo had finished dressing, he came back to the bed, bent down, kissing Kun softly.

“Good night.”

“Good night,” Kun murmured back.

His eyelids closed even before Leo had left the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple things:
> 
> 1\. I'm suffering from writer's block and I knocked this out forcefully. So I really don't know if it's any good tbh. I hope it's fine, but if it isn't... be gentle, please!
> 
> 2\. Kun is confused as hell. Why can't he just make up his damn mind?! I feel you. I do. But the only thing I think here is that it's natural and normal for people to be confused, especially at the start of relationships. He wants Leo but he's also scared so he's warring with that. I hope that seemed realistic for you guys because I feel it's a very normal thing that happens to all of us.
> 
> That said, please let me know what you think! :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say except: please enjoy! :)

Kun was screamingly aware that their time left together was short. It was only a matter of days. He knew Leo would return to life in Barcelona and he would go to Manchester and they’d have nothing more than texts, calls, and Skype.

It made him moody. He was usually the light-hearted one, the one who made Leo laugh, but he found himself falling increasingly silent, easily irritated by small comments and he often snapped at Leo for unimportant things.

Of course, Leo never said anything back, merely kept his expression impassive and did as Kun asked. It made Kun feel even guiltier and he would secretly vow not to do it again, but, inevitably, he would get angry and suddenly, he’d be saying something caustic and sarcastic.

It frustrated Kun that Leo was being so nice. It made things worse. He wished Leo would snap back, would just _retaliate_. When he realized he was spoiling for a fight, he decided enough was enough. Leaving on bad terms would be much harder for him and he didn’t fully understand why his brain didn’t seem to understand this.

Impulsively, he suggested going out to dinner. Maybe being cooped up at home had affected him more than he’d thought when he was usually a person who liked being social. Leo, who liked nothing more than lying down on the couch and napping, agreed easily, surprising Kun.

He was touched that Leo was making such an effort. He was giving Kun a lot of needed space, not being overly touchy except when they were in bed. Kun appreciated that. He didn’t want to cuddle with Leo right now, didn’t want to feel like this was something romantic.

Leo, for his part, was cheerful and bubbly, chattering and generally trying to be entertaining. He wasn’t very good at conversation and so his faltering attempts amused Kun, but it was sweet, nevertheless. But Leo didn’t flirt—and, if Kun didn’t spend every night under Leo, writhing in pleasure, he would have sincerely believed that Leo saw him only a friend.

But Leo had always been very good at hiding his emotion. To the point where Kun himself didn’t know if Leo actually had feelings for him under that cool, impassive exterior.

That added to his moodiness.

Because he still loved Leo. No amount of distrust was going to change how he felt for him. And although he didn’t want to date Leo, he was still selfish and dumb enough that he wanted Leo to want him. The irrationality of that made Kun even more irritated and he found himself wanting to pull his hair out—or play some football.

Damn, he missed football.

He vowed to go practice a little tomorrow. It’d make him feel better.

He glanced over at Leo. He had dressed in a flowery red shirt and Kun grinned inwardly. Leo’s taste in clothes had always been—for lack of a better word— _flamboyant_. But it didn’t bother Kun and, besides, it wasn’t as if Kun was Mr. Valentino himself.

Kun focused back on the road. Leo was fiddling with the radio as Kun drove, humming along to songs. Kun felt something relaxing inside him, the familiar pleasure of being alone with Leo washing over him.

“I’m starving,” Leo announced.

Kun made a noncommittal sound. He’d developed a terrible new habit of deliberately not saying much and forcing Leo to keep talking. So far, Leo had been eager to oblige, rattling on and on, but Kun knew it wouldn’t last long. Human nature couldn’t be changed and Leo was never going to be someone who liked to natter.

But a perverse part of him enjoyed making Leo do something he didn’t like. Let him work for once. Kun laughed out loud at how awful he was being and Leo stopped, smiling quizzically.

Kun shook his head, winking at Leo. “Nothing, go on.”

“No,” Leo said, touching Kun lightly on the arm. “Tell me.”

Kun bit his lip, wondering if he dared. A wicked impulse made him grin at Leo. “I was just thinking that you’ve said more to me in the past few days than all the years I’ve known you.”

Leo laughed. “Well, I gotta impress you somehow,” he said, completely unoffended.

“Is that what you’re trying to do?” Kun grinned.

“Yeah. I want you hot for me again.”

Kun felt his heart fluttering. “I’m hot enough for you.”

Leo chuckled. “I meant, I want you to like me again.”

Kun frowned, braking as they approached a red light. He waited until the car stopped and then turned to Leo. “I like you.”

Leo was still smiling, but his eyes were very serious. “No, you don’t. You love me and you’re attracted to me, but you don’t like me much right now.”

The light was still red so Kun couldn’t escape. He looked away, staring mindlessly through the windshield. He’d never thought of it that way. But he realized it was true. He had a secret ball of resentment in his heart for Leo. He had really thought he’d forgiven Leo, but a part of him felt like swearing at Leo and throwing things at his head.

Well. That wasn’t really the definition of forgiveness now, was it?

The light turned green and Kun accelerated slowly out of the intersection. He said quietly, “I thought I was over it, but I think I’m still angry with you.”

“Yes, you are,” Leo said cheerfully. “It’ll take some time. You thought you forgave me, but you haven’t. It’s okay. I don’t mind waiting.”

Kun was forcefully reminded of a time when he’d told Leo he’d wait. He felt guilt rising in his chest. Was he overreacting? Did Leo deserve all this anger?

But the truth was, he couldn’t stop how he was feeling. Maybe this wasn’t stemming just from the Copa America. Maybe it had been years of secret anger at being taken for granted, years of always yearning and never getting, years of always being in love and being treated like an overeager puppy.

It would explain why he’d been so hurt by this. Kun wondered if Leo knew this too, if that was why he was so understanding about everything.

Luckily, before his mood started dropping, they arrived to the restaurant and Kun handed off his keys to the valet.

They had mutually agreed to take a holiday from their diet, to eat whatever they wanted. Kun felt the anticipation make him cheerful and he grinned across the table to Leo, who seemed as equally excited. Kun laughed at them and this set Leo off, too, and for a while they couldn’t stop.

When Kun noticed the waiter looking nervous about approaching them, he finally bit his lip, forcing himself to stop. He kicked Leo under the table and Leo immediately sobered, years of media training coming to the forefront.

But that one laugh eased something between them. It was such a small thing, but the atmosphere lightened appreciably and Kun felt warmth rise in his chest, suddenly realizing how much he had missed their friendship.

They spent the rest of the dinner laughing and chatting and _eating_. Kun ate and ate, ordering again and again even when Leo laughed and protested. But Leo ate everything Kun ordered for him, his cheeks flushed with laughter and wine.

When they finally left the restaurant, the waiter having received what was probably the biggest tip of his life, Kun and Leo were pleasantly tipsy, drowsy with having eaten too much. Kun was groaning, clutching his stomach.

Leo couldn’t stop laughing. “Who told you to order the cheesecake?”

Stomach aching too much to argue, Kun made a face in response. “You ate it all,” he mumbled.

Leo grinned, taking the keys from the valet. He bundled Kun in, who was still complaining about his stomach loudly. Leo slid into the driver’s seat, rolling his eyes affectionately. “You’re like a baby.”

Kun ignored him. His stomach really was aching and he was starting to get a little nauseous. He closed his eyes, trying to control himself, breathing through his nose. Leo was driving and the movements of the car were only making his nausea worse.

He squeezed his eyes with his fingers, trying to think of anything but the overwhelming need to vomit. The car ride went quicker than he expected, probably because it was so late that there was hardly any traffic.

“What’s wrong?” Leo asked worriedly as he pulled into Kun’s long driveway.

Kun shook his head. He needed a bathroom right now. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He unlocked the front door with shaking fingers, desperate not to empty his stomach contents on the threshold. As soon as he got it open, he left unlocking the alarm to Leo and rushed to the nearest bathroom.

He vomited immediately. Leo followed him almost instantly and he could feel him rubbing his back gently, soothingly. Humiliated, Kun rubbed roughly at his mouth, straightening and flushing the toilet. He didn’t want to meet Leo’s eyes, but there was no avoiding it.

“Are you okay?” Leo asked softly, rubbing his arms.

Kun nodded shortly, acutely aware of his breath. To his shock, Leo cupped his face and then kissed him, gently touching his lips with his own. He would have gasped in shock, but he didn’t want to blow what would surely be toxic fumes in Leo’s mouth so he kept his mouth tightly shut.

When Leo finally leaned back, Kun pushed at his chest, desperate to rinse his mouth out. Leo obliged, letting Kun gargle thoroughly. When he finished, turning to face Leo, he was surprised to find Leo grinning.

“Better?”

Kun nodded, opening his mouth. But he was cut off by the gale of laughter that erupted from Leo’s mouth. Leo clutched his stomach, leaning against the doorjamb, laughing like he’d never ever stop.

Kun glared at him, his way of escape blocked and with no witty comeback handy. He folded his arms across his chest and waited for it to peter out. But Leo continued to laugh, turning red from lack of air and eyes turning watery.

Kun felt a smile starting to spread across his face and, reluctantly, he gave in. Huffing, he pushed at Leo. “Move.”

But Leo straightened, wiping at his eyes, a diabolical gleam in his eyes. “No, let’s stay here.” He stepped in to the bathroom, locking it behind him.

Kun felt his heart fluttering and his cock twitching in interest. Pretending to be angry, he raised his chin. “I’m not in the mood.”

Leo grinned, lounging against the door, not making any move towards Kun.

Trying to distract himself, Kun said, “Why’re you locking the door, anyway? Who’re you keeping out, ghosts?”

Leo seemed unperturbed by the unsexy question. “I just think it’s sexier, don’t you?”

Kun frowned, truly confused. “What’s sexy about a locked door?”

Leo smiled lazily, his eyes warm. “I meant the thought of someone being out there. While we’re in here. Almost getting caught.”

Kun felt his breath hitch, images suddenly filling his brain. Of the house being filled with people, the two of them stealing away for a moment, locking themselves in the bathroom, Leo bending him over, fucking him quickly while they tried to be quiet.

He was hard now, breathing quickly. He looked at Leo, trying to be impassive, but Leo himself had straightened a little, his eyes sharp, locking on Kun’s.

“Do you think it’s sexy, Kun?”

Leo’s voice was low, vibrating against Kun’s skin. Kun suppressed a shiver, trying to fight the mental images assaulting him. “Maybe,” Kun said, voice wavering a little.

This was one of the things Kun found incredibly attractive about Leo. He liked to turn Kun on with dirty conversation and, although sometimes Kun just wished Leo would get on with it, there was something very hot about being seduced like this, without a touch, with only someone’s words.

It was incredibly frustrating, of course, but it made Kun so hard, sometimes, it was all he could do not to jump Leo. It was taking all of his self-control now not to move across the bathroom and kiss him, but he forced himself to stay, forced himself to let Leo dictate the pace.

Leo was still leaning against the door, still making no move to go to Kun. “Do you like me fucking you while there’s someone just on the other side of the door?”

Kun swallowed. He met Leo’s eyes head on, his cock throbbing and pulsing in his pants. The heat between them was incredible. “Yes.”

“And maybe someone talks to you through the door, while my dick’s in your ass, while I’m fucking you.”

Kun was almost panting. “Fuck, yes.”

“And you have to respond, but I’m fucking you so good, you can’t even say anything. So you moan a response.”

Kun could feel it happening to him, could feel it as if it was real. Feeling like he was losing his mind, he whispered, “Leo, _please_.”

Leo’s eyes were intense, focused. “Do you want me to fuck you right now, Kun?”

“Yes,” Kun moaned in response.

“Well, I won’t.”

Stunned, Kun stared. He felt almost disoriented by the response. Leo was smiling. “I’m going to suck your cock.”

His cock had deflated a little at Leo’s initial no, but it roared back to life with such rapidity, Kun felt a little weak and briefly wondered if he’d lost critical blood to his crotch.

But a rational part of him had to speak up. “Wait, Leo, you don’t have to do that just because you think I’m angry with you.”

Because Kun knew what it was like. He knew that kissing, fucking—those were much easier to handle than blowjobs. He knew that blowing a guy was hard—no pun intended—that it required a kind of mental acceptance about the whole sex-with-a-guy thing that maybe Leo still hadn’t quite gotten. It was gritty, it was real and—it was _in your fucking face._

He didn’t want Leo doing anything he was uncomfortable with. He didn’t want it to taint Leo’s first time. Whatever else, that part of their relationship shouldn’t be affected.

Leo rolled his eyes. “Do you like killing the mood?”

Kun grinned. “A little, yes. Wanna turn me on again?”

Leo looked pointedly at Kun’s crotch. “I don’t think I need to,” he said, smiling wickedly.

Kun sighed a little. His dick _would_ betray him at a moment like this, of course. “He’s got a mind of his own.”

Leo laughed easily. “I like his mind better than yours right now.”

Kun huffed, feeling warmth spread through him. It had been a long time since things had been this light between them. “Well, I get say.”

Leo folded his arms across his chest. “Oh? And what’re you saying?”

“I’m saying… Suck my cock already.” Kun felt his cheeks heat at the blunt, brazen words, but he wasn’t in the mood for games, wasn’t in the mood for being teased. He wanted release. He wanted Leo’s mouth. Right _now_.

Leo’s jaw had dropped. But he recovered quickly, smiling. “I will.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Kun stared at him, feeling himself flush in embarrassment and arousal. “Well, do it, then.”

Leo straightened, dropping his arms to his sides. His eyes were very intense. He walked slowly over to Kun, making eye contact the whole time. Kun felt himself swallow, his mouth suddenly dry. His cock was aching and leaking in anticipation.

When he was right in front of Kun, their chests touching, thighs brushing, Leo stopped. He smiled. And leaned in.

Just as Kun was closing his eyes in expectation of the kiss, he felt Leo dropping and his lids snapped open in confusion. Disoriented, he glanced down and saw Leo on his knees, flashing a quick grin up at Kun.

Kun immediately leaned against the bathroom wall, knees weakening at the sight of Leo kneeling in front of him, face turned upwards. Leo’s hands went to Kun’s jeans, slowly undoing them. His hands were remarkably steady, methodical.

Kun felt his heart speeding up in anticipation. He hadn’t had a blowjob in a long time. And the realization that it was Leo— _Leo—_ who would be doing this for him—it made it incredible. He remembered fantasizing about this, remembered countless nights in his bed, stroking himself to the thought of Leo taking him like this.

He was starting to breathe heavily as Leo slowly unzipped him. Leo didn’t push the jeans down, simply pulled his cock free from the boxers. And something about being fully clothed while being sucked was even hotter—almost as if they were actually pretending that they had no time, that people were waiting outside, that they had to hurry.

Kun found himself touching Leo’s hair gently, sifting through the soft strands. Leo glanced up briefly, meeting Kun’s eyes as he leaned forward, enveloping the head of Kun’s cock in his mouth. Kun moaned at the sensation, eyes riveted to Leo’s.

Seeing Leo do it and feeling it at the same time was overwhelmingly sensual, almost _too_ erotic. It was so arousing Kun wanted to come right there and then, but he closed his eyes, desperate not to finish too quickly, to ruin Leo’s first blowjob like that.

Leo was a little timid at first, awkward at the way he moved his mouth over Kun’s cock. He licked tentatively, moving his tongue slowly up and down Kun’s shaft. It wasn’t wholly pleasurable but Kun knew this was a matter of learning too so he let Leo do it, let Leo experiment.

Leo’s cheeks were redder than Kun had ever seen it and he wondered what must be going through Leo’s head right now. But he didn’t have time to ponder it as Leo took Kun’s cock deep into his mouth, engulfing Kun in warm, wet heat.

Kun panted, trying to stifle his moans. And suddenly, astonishingly, Leo was deepthroating him and Kun cried out in pleasure, unable to control himself. Leo’s throat was spasming a little around him and it felt tight and hot and so _good_.

Leo begin to bob on Kun’s cock slowly after that, his mouth drooling despite himself. But Kun couldn’t stop moaning, couldn’t stop saying Leo’s name like it was a prayer. He was bucking his hips into Leo’s face now, being a little rough with Leo.

Leo braced his hands on Kun’s hips, but allowed Kun to fuck his mouth. He looked up at Kun, meeting his eyes, and the image of Leo, lips stretched obscenely around Kun’s cock was so filthy, so dirty, so fucking hot, that Kun came.

He moaned out loud long and low, his hips tiredly rocking into Leo’s mouth, thrusts getting slower and slower. It overflowed, spilling onto Leo’s chin, but Leo continued to suck, to stroke Kun’s cock, milking it during the last few seconds of Kun’s orgasm.

When Kun was finally done, when he softened, Leo pulled his mouth off and tore himself some toilet paper, wiping his face. He balled up the soiled tissue and tossed it in the bin, aim absolutely perfect.

He got to his knees slowly and they smiled at each other, Kun drowsily and Leo affectionately. And just as Kun was expecting a kiss, which was what he got every time they had sex, Leo instead leaned against him, burying his face in Kun’s neck, his arms coming around Kun’s waist.

Surprised by it, Kun wrapped his arms around Leo in return.

“Tighter,” Leo whispered.

Kun’s throat was suddenly tight with emotion. He squeezed Leo hard, nuzzling his face and brushing kisses over the side of Leo’s head.

“Kun, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Kun,” Leo said, his voice muffled against Kun’s throat. “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant to. I was just so out of my mind. I’m so sorry, I’m sorry—”

Kun hushed him, overwhelmed. “Stop, stop, baby, stop.” He tried to turn Leo’s face, but Leo resisted, burying his face even deeper against Kun’s shoulder. So Kun gave up, simply kissing the side of Leo’s face fiercely, and hugging him tight.

They stood like that for a long time.

And when they finally parted, Leo followed Kun up to the bedroom without a word. And they slept together all night, on their own sides of the bed, but fingers lightly touching.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh. This chapter made me a little emotional tbh. I'm really dreading the separation :( Oh well! I hope you guys liked it and please let me know what you think! :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was like riding a rollercoaster. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!

Football had saved Kun’s life.

He had come from a large family and they had been, safe to say, poor. Football had been both his escape and the answer to his prayers. It had always been easy to forget with the ball at his feet, easy to forget when celebrating a goal, easy to forget when training, dribbling past defenders and scoring.

It was still his comfort and the morning Leo left, Kun set out for his backyard with the ball. He played for hours, sweat pouring down his back, practicing keep-ups and headers, dribbling back and forth. He played until he was exhausted, until his muscles screamed and only then did he stop, collapsing on the grass and lying flat on his back.

He wanted to feel numb, but he was roiling with emotion. He missed Leo. They’d spent the whole week together, every waking moment and had achieved a truce of sorts, grudging or otherwise. Kun didn’t want to relive the days in his mind, but he knew he would, over and over.

He draped his forearm over his eyes and blew out a breath, relishing the feel of the warm ground against his back. He rolled onto his stomach, lying with his cheek on the lawn, eyes still closed, breathing in the smell of dirt and grass.

Unbidden, images of what he’d done with Leo the night before in this very position came to his mind, and he leaped up even as his crotch tightened.

He had to spent 8 plus hours in a private plane tomorrow to Manchester and if this was what he had to look forward to, he was going to have a very… _distracting_ flight, to say the least. Cursing under his breath, he moved to his kitchen, but his mind wouldn’t stop.

Snapshots flooded his brain. Leo touching his naked thighs, Leo’s mouth moving lazily against him, a long moan, the first delicious thrust, Kun’s head lolling on the bed as he collapsed in pleasure, crying Leo’s name over and over as he came, Leo’s kisses in the aftermath.

By now, Kun was so hard, he was leaking. Furious with himself, he stormed upstairs and took the coldest shower in the world.

* * *

Leo kept Kun amused over the next day. He had fallen asleep after his shower only to wake up to what seemed to be a million texts, all from Leo. Laughing, he scrolled through them quickly, but couldn’t keep up because Leo kept sending him new ones in between.

Eventually, he gave up trying to read them all and instead texted back.

_How many texts???????_

Leo sent one back almost instantly:

_I miss you. I can’t help it._ _:)_

It was incredibly cheesy, almost groaningly so, but it made Kun smile from ear to ear. Unable to stop himself, he flirted back.

_How much do you miss me?_

_I’d turn the plane around if I could._

But Kun was grinning. There was something incredibly fun about flirting with Leo in this way. Somehow, there was no anger this way, no frustrations. He could forget that he wasn’t so okay with Leo, could forget that they weren’t really dating.

_You make me cheesy. It’s all your fault._

_What did I do?_

_You’re too hot._

Kun felt his breath hitching a little, butterflies fluttering in his stomach.

_Oh really?_

_Yeah. You tempt me._

_That was terrible._

_Well, it’s true. I want you. I can’t stop thinking of you._

_What’re you thinking of?_

_You._

_What about me?_

Kun curled up in bed, pulling the covers tighter around him as he waited for Leo’s response. It took some time coming, which was surprising.

_I’m on a plane._

_What?_

_I’m on a plane._

_I know. You already told me that._

_So… Don’t do this to me when I’m on a plane._

Kun grinned, finally understanding. Filled with a sudden mischievous impulse, he texted back quickly.

_Do what to you?_

_Sergio Aguero._

_Lionel Messi._

_Sergio Leonel Aguero._

_Lionel Andres Messi._

Kun laughed out loud. He hadn’t teased Leo like this in a while.

_Stop._

_Stop what?_

_I know what you’re trying to do._

_Is it working?_

_No._

_Really?_

_Okay, yes. Happy?_

Kun almost felt gleeful.

_Very. I’ll leave you to enjoy your plane ride._

_All right. I’ll text you a bit later._

_Have a safe trip!_

_Thanks._ _:)_

_Oh and Leo?_

_Yeah?_

Kun bit his lip, unsure of whether he should, flushing in embarrassment, but finally sending it anyway.

_Think about fucking me… The whole damn time, okay? Over and over again._ _:)_

He switched his phone off immediately, laughing, so as not to see Leo’s response. He could picture it pretty well. Leo would know he wasn’t getting the texts and he’d probably get even more furious.

But, inevitably, he’d think of what Kun said. It’d slip into his mind, unbidden. He’d picture fucking Kun and he’d get hard and aroused and _that_ made Kun happy, the sadistic bastard that he was.

In a thoroughly good mood now, he rose from the bed and went to his gym room. He worked out for about an hour, listening to cumbia music, smiling like a fool while he ran, thinking of Leo.

When he finally turned off the treadmill and sank down onto a comfortable chair, he could hear his phone beeping. Smiling, he saw that it was Leo calling. He tapped the green button and grinned at Leo, who was as usual holding the phone in the most unflattering position possible.

How could a man who was so good looking take such terrible photos of himself? It was almost comical.

Now, he looked at Leo’s double chin and what was a view of basically his nostrils and struggled not to laugh. A surge of affection rose in his chest at this man who had no self-consciousness, who had no interest in his looks, who was almost child-like in his mind.

Well, not in all ways.

But it was probably best if he didn’t think of that.

Leo was smiling affectionately. “You’re all sweaty. Working out?”

Kun grinned. “Yeah. This year, City’s gonna kick your Barca ass.”

Leo laughed. “Bring it on.”

They chatted briefly about mundane things, how the flight was, what Leo had eaten, etc. Kun felt some part of him relax at the inane chatter, the gentle teasing and easy banter. It was only the first day so it wasn’t going to foretell anything, but surely it was a good sign?

Leo eventually hung up, saying the flight attendant had asked for a photograph for her son. Kun leaned back and counted the days until their next meeting.

He sighed.

* * *

The first week was the hardest. Kun found himself missing Leo like crazy, constantly reaching his phone to text Leo about something that reminded him of Leo. It seemed Leo was in the same kind of situation because he kept texting back at the same pace.

They called for hours, talking and talking. But, occasionally, when things got too tender or romantic, Kun got scared and iced Leo out for hours. When he messaged or called Leo again after one of these cold spells, Leo was always a little subdued, no doubt hurt, but Leo made no mention of Kun’s hot-and-cold behavior.

Kun was aware that what he was doing was wrong. Because he _knew_ how Leo felt. Leo, on the other hand, had been blissfully oblivious for years and years. But he couldn’t help it. He was scared of getting hurt again, of getting broken by Leo in a way that he couldn’t ever recover from.

Until the fight.

It was frightening to Kun how he didn’t even see it coming, how it blindsided him. He had iced Leo again and this time when he texted Leo again, there was no reply. It worried Kun, made him feel both guilty and angry in a self-protective way. But as the hours went by, he got more and more frustrated, upset to the point where he couldn’t even concentrate.

Agitated, he tried calling, but there was no reply. Furious with himself, he tossed the phone and went to take a cold shower just to calm himself down. But his mind was whirling too much and it felt like something was under his skin. He just couldn’t relax.

When he came back to the living room, he went to his phone, heart pounding in anticipation. And to his utter relief, there was a text and a missed call from Leo.

_Call me again. We need to talk._

It was, of course, the worst four words any human could read. Heart pounding even harder now, stomach swooping sickly, mind filling with every possible terrible scenario that could have ever happened, he took a deep breath and called Leo.

Leo picked up on the third ring. His voice was a little muffled and Kun could hear voices in the background shouting and music blaring. He felt his heart sink a little and couldn’t identify exactly what the emotion was until he realized it was jealousy.

“Hey, one second,” Leo said to Kun. There were more noises and suddenly all the sounds in the background almost completely disappeared as if Leo had turned down the volume.

“Sorry, I went into the bedroom,” Leo continued breathlessly. “Some of the guys came over after training.”

“Who’s there?” Kun said, both dreading the answer and also dying to know.

“Dani, Rafa, Luisito, Ney, Geri, and Masche.”

There it was. Why was it only Neymar’s name that bothered him? Maybe because he was always dry-humping Leo on live television? Or maybe because he was always holding out his arms to Leo who ran into them and, to add insult to injury, he’d then pick Leo up and lift him off his feet?

Was that really necessary?

This wasn’t a damn romcom, it was a fucking football game. No one had to behave like they hadn’t seen each other in years. He’d had less exciting reunions with girlfriends. Or even with his ex-wife.

He didn’t trust Neymar. Not one bit. There was something positively devious in that man’s eyes. He was too proprietary with Leo, too possessive, too touchy-feely. His hands roamed Leo freely and it was _fucking unacceptable_.

Why did Leo allow it? Kun couldn’t understand it. Leo seemed perfectly happy to leap into Neymar’s arms, perfectly happy to roll around on the grass with him—that goal celebration had done something to Kun—perfectly happy to loft pass after perfect pass to the stupid light-eyed Brazilian boy.

And he _was_ a boy. It was almost inappropriate.

Kun sighed. He was getting carried away. He’d met Neymar a few times and the guy seemed perfectly nice, but he just _couldn’t_ like him. He never would.

He forced himself to come back to the conversation at hand. Leo hadn’t even noticed that he hadn’t responded because he was too busy laughing at something happening on his end and Kun fought hard not to get angry.

But the ugly jealousy was rising up in him, swallowing every good feeling he had. He wanted to hurt Leo too now, make him feel as bad as Kun was feeling.

“You seem busy. We can talk later,” he forced himself to say nicely, fighting against the impulse to say something nasty.

“No,” Leo said, laughter still in his voice. “These guys are just—” he laughed again, distracted. “Get out of my room! NEY, NO!”

And suddenly the call was disconnected.

Kun had never felt the kind of anger he did in that moment. It was harrowing, almost painful, so black that it spilled out of him and he started to sob. He dropped his face into his hands and cried, the emotion more a response to being overwhelmed with fury than actual sadness.

His phone vibrated in less than a minute and by that time, Kun was in a maelstrom of emotion, out of control and shaking. “Leo, we can talk later,” he said abruptly, his voice trembling a little, but still reasonably strong.

“Kun, no, I kicked them out,” Leo said, voice jovial and light. He hadn’t sensed Kun’s foul mood yet.

“You didn’t have to,” Kun said, the words spilling out before he could stop them. “You could have talked to your friends.”

“No, I want to talk to you,” Leo said, voice still light.

“You don’t have to force yourself.” Kun winced. He wanted desperately to stop himself, but he seemed to be on a rampage.

“I’m not forcing myself,” Leo said firmly. But his voice was slightly wary now as if he was starting to realize that all was not right. “You okay?”

“Peachy.”

“Peachy?”

“Yes.”

“Kun, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” Leo asked, voice soft.

“Not at all.” Kun forced a laugh. “You don’t have to stay here being bored by me. You can have fun with your friends. _Ney_ and all of them.”

Leo was silent for a few seconds. “I want to talk to you. I said that,” he said quietly.

Kun fiddled with his nails for a little while. “Well, I’m just saying. You don’t have to be polite for me,” he said jokily.

“What’s the matter with you? How many times do I have to say I want to talk to you?” Leo snapped.

“Do you really, Leo? Then why didn’t you reply for so long?” Kun said, voice rising sharply.

Leo laughed, the sound low and a little cruel. “Seriously? When you do this to me all the time?” His voice was mocking and Kun felt doubly hurt by it.

“Fine, then. Go have _fun_ with your buddies. You don’t have to talk to me at all!”

One part of Kun’s brain was very aware that he was acting like a moron. Like an oversensitive, childish, _insane_ moron. But he couldn’t stop himself. The thought of Neymar in Leo’s bedroom was so infuriating it made Kun want to hit something.

“For someone who didn’t want to be anything more than friends, you’re acting like a fucking clingy boyfriend right now.” Leo’s words were almost casually uttered and it made Kun angrier that Leo was so good at controlling himself.

“You’re such an asshole, you know that,” Kun burst out, his hands shaking.

“You’re the one who keeps telling me to go be with my friends when I keep saying I want to talk to you. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Leo returned and Kun was finally pleased to detect a slight note of anger.

“It’s pretty clear you have more fun with them.”

“Are you serious? Should I be crying when I’m with them?” Leo’s voice was incredulous and Kun could picture the look on his face. “What do you want from me, Kun? Just tell me. I’ll do it. But I need to know.”

“I don’t want anything.” Kun was suddenly overwhelmed with an incredible feeling of sadness. He sat down on the couch abruptly, pressing his fingers to his eyes, his head throbbing nauseatingly.

There was a long silence. And then Leo’s voice came back, wavering, tired, “I thought so. When you figure it out, let me know.”

“What does that mean?” Kun sat up, eyes popping open, his heart pounding in fear.

“I can’t do this, Kun. I get that you’re angry, that you’re confused. I get it all. But this is much more than you being angry with me. There’s something else. You’re scared to be with me. You’re using your anger as an excuse.” Leo’s voice was so quiet, Kun had to strain to hear the words.

“Fuck you, don’t tell me how I feel,” Kun blurted, panicking.

“Do _you_ know how you feel, Kun? I’m tired. This isn’t the first time you’ve gone running. You did it before too. Before the Copa final,” Leo returned, his voice soft.

“That was different,” Kun said, voice unsure and thready.

“Was it? I don’t think so. There’s a common theme here. You keep saying you love me more than I love you, but I’m always the one chasing you, Kun.” And suddenly, Leo’s voice cracked. The fact that he had done this to Leo so upset Kun that tears sprang to his eyes. “If you’re too scared to be with me, there’s nothing that I can do to convince you.”

“Leo, please—” Kun’s voice was desperate, the plea heartfelt, but he had nothing to say. Fear was buzzing in his head, panic that he was going to lose Leo.

“I love you.”

It was exactly the opposite of how Kun had pictured it. He squeezed his eyes shut, struggling not to cry, throat working painfully. He couldn’t believe that the moment had come from something so ugly, from this terrible instant where Leo was leaving, where Leo was walking away.

“I love you so much,” Leo continued, voice wavering. “But I can’t do this forever. It’s fucking me up, Kun. I’m going crazy here. Call me when you decide.”

“Or else?”

Leo was silent. “When you decide,” he repeated quietly. And, without another word, he hung up.

Kun bowed his head and stared at his phone.

Stared until his vision blurred with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah. I'm sorry to do that to you guys. The chapter kind of started writing itself. But I think we're finally getting somewhere (re: Kun confronting his demons) and I'm glad because I felt things were starting to get stagnant. I'll try getting the next chapter up quickly cause I hate these kinds of endings too haha. 
> 
> I just want to say thanks for all the lovely comments (and kudos). Sometimes I reread them a few days later and they truly, honestly, put a huge smile on my face and cheer me up no matter how crappy my day has been. So for all that <33333333 
> 
> Don't forget to let me know what you think! :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a little short and I'm not very happy with it tbh. :( I don't know. Anyway, have a read and see what you think!

Kun had thought those two weeks after the Copa without Leo had been hard. He’d thought it had toughened him up so he’d never feel that abandoned and rejected again. But he was wrong. It was something like being clobbered, a constant ache in his chest.

The only difference was that, this time, he wasn’t numb. This time he felt the pain. And that was much, much worse. He cried constantly, everywhere. It was humiliating and it took real effort to concentrate in training, real effort to play well, real effort to listen to tactics talk from the coach.

He was aware that his teammates were looking at him askance, wondering if he was going to be the dead weight in the team this year. He couldn’t even make the attempt to be okay, to pretend that he was fine.

Instead, he was robotic, disappearing off into bathrooms to cry and collapsing into bed at night to sleep terribly vivid, awful dreams where he was always either naked or falling off a cliff. He woke up while it was still night out, wide awake, heart aching, eyes always streaming.

It took two or three days before he got angry with himself. The anger was better than the pain, though, and he played better at training, though his tackles were so hard, Zabaleta had to take him aside and tell him to calm down.

Unlike last time, he gave his phone a wide berth. It got to the point where his assistant finally stomped in to the locker room, ignoring the yelps from his teammates and slammed the phone into his hands. “You’re NOT a regular human being. I _have_ to be able to get in touch with you. Keep your phone with you _at all times_.”

And with that, she stomped back out.

The entire locker room was stunned into silence, all of them looking at him warily. He’d been particularly aggressive that day, swearing hotly at all of them in Spanish when his side had lost at their team match.

But, to their surprise, he sat down on the bench and burst into laughter. He laughed so long that his teammates all reluctantly smiled. But Kun went on and on until they were chuckling too. Finally, it got to the point where someone started imitating her throwing a tantrum and, before long, they were all screaming with laughter.

It was exactly what Kun needed and he went home feeling a little better. It was as if his assistant’s innocent words had woken up something in his mind that he had kept avoiding. He _wasn’t_ a regular human being.

He was going to have to make a decision.

* * *

**_10 days ago_ **

Kun padded down from the shower in only his bathrobe to see Leo sitting in the kitchen, eating cereal and Skyping with Thiago. He smiled at Thiago’s high, lisping voice and proceeded to pour himself a cup of coffee. He watched the two of them giggle at each other over Skype until finally Leo disconnected the call and turned to Kun, smiling.

“Hi,” Leo grinned.

Kun couldn’t help quirking his lips in return. “Hi,” he laughed. He opened his mouth, but was interrupted by his phone ringing. It was his dad.

He raised a finger apologetically at Leo and took the phone into the living room. He started chatting about random things, settling on the couch, leaning his head against the back. To his surprise, a few moments later, Leo followed, sitting right next to him on the couch.

It was very unlike Leo to not give him privacy during a phone call. He slightly frowned at him so that he wouldn’t say anything—his dad didn’t know that Leo was there with him and he didn’t feel like telling anyone right now.

But Leo had a very mischievous look on his face and it was making Kun a little nervous and distracted.

“What?” he mouthed at Leo.

Leo simply shook his head, putting a finger over his lips as if to shush Kun. Then very slowly, he put his hand on Kun’s thigh.

Kun inhaled sharply and moved his thigh away quickly, trying to knock Leo’s hand away. But Leo quickly held Kun’s hand in his other hand, shaking his head at Kun.

Kun subsided because he didn’t want his father to hear him. But he glared at Leo, mouthing _no_ over and over again. But Leo seemed completely uninterested, simply smiling at Kun and inching his fingers upwards.

Despite himself, Kun could feel himself hardening. Cursing his terrible traitorous body, he tried to concentrate on his father’s words, hoping it would be exactly the thing he needed to calm down. But Leo’s sneaky fingers were slowly pulling his robe apart.

Flushing, he tried to hold it close, but Leo had already twitched it open, flicking the tie with his fingers so that the whole robe loosened. Kun couldn’t retie it because of the phone in his hand, but he held the phone up with his shoulder while he tried desperately to pull the two edges of his robe closed.

He was of course fully erect now and there was no pretending that his body didn’t find what Leo was doing very, _very_ interesting.

But he was on the phone with his _dad_ , for God’s sake.

It just wasn’t right.

The momentary lapse in concentration allowed Leo to fully push the robe open and he cleverly sat on one flap. Flustered, Kun tried tugging on it, but Leo was leaning against him now, pressing him flat. Unable to think, Kun allowed Leo to maneuver him so that he was lying down, Leo half on top of him.

Smiling roguishly, Leo’s fingers trailed down Kun’s abs towards his crotch. Kun swallowed, trying frantically to signal with his eyes at Leo.

Luckily, his father was in the middle of a long story and all Kun had to do was murmur _okay_ and chuckle at the right pauses. Leo’s fingers were now wrapping around Kun’s length and Kun’s eyes closed, trying desperately not to moan.

He had given up all fight now, unable to resist, hating (and loving) Leo for it. Leo’s mouth had descended to Kun’s neck and Kun arched, giving him access. Leo’s hand was stroking up slowly up and down, his hand cool on Kun’s hot cock, feeling so good that Kun bit his lip, struggling to keep his breaths even.

Leo was mouthing his neck, his hands moving slowly and teasingly over Kun, just shy of giving him the right amount of pressure. Kun bucked up a little, desperate for more.

“Kun, you okay? You sound breathless.”

It took some time to cut through the erotic haze surrounding Kun. “Oh, yes,” Kun said, trying—and probably failing—to sound casual. “I just ran to get the phone, that’s why.” It was hard to focus when Leo’s hand was still pumping his cock slowly, fingers dragging the sensitive skin gently back and forth.

Never mind that he was a top-class athlete and that he’d been on the phone for several minutes and only gotten breathless now.

He changed the subject quickly. “Go on, Dad.”

Luckily, his father got distracted by that. He kept recounting how Kun’s mother had done something so foolish that the neighbours had come over to complain. Kun glared at Leo who was laughing softly. Leo was still stroking, pace unhurried, although he was grasping Kun tighter.

“So how’s everything there? Are you excited to go back?”

Unable to help himself, Kun said, “ _Yes_ ,” in a low voice, in almost a whisper, the word soft and erotic , eyes locked on Leo’s, knowing how hot that would be to him.

Sure enough, Leo’s eyes widened, pupils dilating, cheeks flushing. “Fuck,” he murmured so quietly that Kun could barely hear it. His eyes were on Kun’s mouth and Kun realized Leo wanted to kiss him. The knowledge sent fire throughout his body, both heady pleasure and power.

It was getting more and more difficult to concentrate on the conversation with his father. He was mostly catching just words and trying to scrabble together an answer that made sense based on those minor clues.

Leo’s hand had quickened on Kun’s cock and Kun rocked his hips upwards, trying to get more traction, more friction, more sensation.

Kun needed to end this conversation _now_ because he couldn’t hold his moans in anymore. “Dad, I have to go. The water’s boiling on the stove.”

 _Water’s boiling on the stove?_ Well, at least it was somewhat reasonable.

Kun’s Dad ended the conversation quickly, his goodbyes hurried. Kun barely even mumbled a response before poking hard at this phone, trying to make sure the call was ended. When he was absolutely sure it was over, he tossed the phone onto the nearby couch.

Growling, he reached up for Leo and they kissed fiercely, sloppily, teeth grinding against each other. “You _fucker_ ,” Kun said against Leo’s mouth, still kissing.

Leo didn’t even respond, just pressed himself harder against Kun, his erection throbbing against Kun’s thigh. Kun arched up in Leo’s hands because he had temporarily stopped stroking. Leo immediately began again, moving blindingly fast over Kun.

Kun rocked upwards, moaning into Leo’s mouth. It wasn’t even kissing, just their mouths brushing as they panted. But it was incredibly hot and Leo’s hand felt so incredibly good that Kun wasn’t going to last, he was going to—

And he came.

Every single time, it felt like it was better than before and this time was the same with his body shuddering and convulsing in pleasure, his cock spurting over his stomach. He was moaning, eyes closed, and Leo was kissing his neck, stroking slowly.

“What—” Kun asked conversationally when he'd calmed down a little, “—the _fuck_ was that?”

Leo started laughing. He raised his head from Kun’s neck and, looking at Kun’s expression, laughed harder. Kun pushed at Leo’s chest and Leo rose up willingly, still chuckling.

He stopped short when Kun dropped to his knees in front of Leo. Leo swallowed hard. “What’re you doing?”

Kun settled himself in between Leo’s thighs. He smiled innocently at Leo, his hands palming Leo’s very obvious bulge. “Has anyone ever told you, Leo, that revenge is very, _very_ sweet?”

Leo only gulped.

* * *

**_Present Day_ **

Kun didn’t know why the memory had hit him so hard. He remembered that day: the playful handjob from Leo, the longest, slowest blowjob he’d given as punishment for that. How it had all ended: with the two of them kissing and cuddling on the couch.

It was all he could think about. How they’d spent almost the whole day in the afterglow, ordering food, talking all day, eating chicken salads, holding hands, watching a funny movie cuddled together under one blanket.

It had been a day where they’d acted like a couple. And it had felt right.

Because Kun hadn’t been scared.

His fear was cyclical. It wasn’t always there, but it always came back.

He had to admit Leo was right. He had always been afraid that Leo would leave him, that they’d break up, that Kun would have to deal with a broken heart. But the truth was that, those two weeks when Leo hadn’t spoken to him, he’d used it to stoke the flames of his fear higher. He’d used it as an excuse to keep away from Leo.

What Leo had done wasn’t right. He should have texted, should have called. But what Kun was doing now wasn’t right either. And he had to face that.

He had to stop being afraid.

Because, the truth was, he wanted Leo.

And that had to be enough.

Leo had said he _loved_ him. Kun couldn’t mess this up, couldn’t lose him now, not after that. He couldn’t give up something so incredible just because he was _afraid_.

And, without thinking, he called up his assistant.

She picked up almost instantly.

“Hi. Do you think you could book me a flight to Barcelona sometime soon?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah. I'm so unsure about this chapter. Anyway. I hope you guys enjoyed. Please let me know what you think :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly sorry for how long this took. I had some things going on and I was suffering from a mental block. I actually intended this chapter to be very long - about 4K. But I decided to split things and so this is about 2.5K. :) 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Kun could hear the crying from outside the door. He prepared to smile politely, fully expecting Antonela to open the door. He was surprised instead to find Leo, frazzled, hair mussed, eyes a little too frantic, rocking a sobbing, hysterical Thiago in his arms.

Leo’s eyes widened. “Kun, Kun,” he said, over and over again, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Thiago quietened a little at the sight of the visitor, but he was still sniffling, cheeks red and wet.

Kun peeked behind them and saw that it looked like a tornado had taken apart the house. Clothes were everywhere, toys scattered on the floor, the TV was blaring, and there was the strong smell of something burning.

He looked at Leo closely. He had stains all down his shirt and he looked worn out. Cautiously, Kun asked, “What’s going on?”

“Anto’s got cramps, the nanny’s on vacation, and Thiagui’s got the flu!” Leo burst out.

Kun swallowed a laugh, knowing that Leo was on the verge of an explosion. He smiled big at Thiago, who was watching the proceedings with interest. He knew Kun well, had seen him on Skype often enough to recognize him. “Kun,” he said, eyes wide.

Kun nodded, holding out his arms and smiling. “Yes! Come here, let’s play!”

Thiago, having found a friendly adult—certainly friendlier than his own father!—leaned enthusiastically towards Kun. Kun scooped him up and walked in, leaving Leo to deal with his suitcases. Leo seemed so stressed out, he didn’t even seem to realize or remember that Kun had surprised him, that he _shouldn’t_ be here and that they hadn’t been speaking all these days.

Kun felt the knot inside his chest instantly easing. He’d been expecting tense scenes and ugly confrontations, but, though this wasn’t the best environment, he much preferred it to dramatic altercations. He wiped Thiago’s nose, which was leaking, and flew him around the house, balanced on Kun’s palm, like an airplane.

Thiago screamed with joy. Kun took advantage of the moment to shout to Leo over his shoulder that he’d better check the stove and see if something was burning.

Leo swore and raced to the kitchen. Kun laughed out loud at that, continuing to play with the baby. Thiago enjoyed the roughhousing for a little while, though Kun was gentle with him. But, soon, the baby started to get cranky again, the sickness catching up to him.

Kun rocked him gently. He returned to the kitchen to find Leo sitting at the table, head buried in his arms. Kun felt a wave of tenderness rise inside him. The baby was snuffling against him, head in Kun’s shoulder, his cold wet nose pressed right against Kun’s neck.

Kun winced a little, but rubbed the baby’s back. He leaned down and pressed a kiss impulsively to the top of Leo’s head. Leo lifted his head wearily, eyes red-rimmed and exhausted. “The milk—it split…” he said tiredly, gesturing to the microwave.

Kun noticed something yellow and unidentifiable spilt all over the stove and tried not to make a face. “I’ll get it. Just sit.”

Balancing the baby expertly in his arms, he pulled out some formula and mixed it with warm water. He shook the bottle, then tested the temperature by shaking a few drops onto his arm. Thiago was starting to get drowsy, but still whimpering a little.

Kun made soft nonsensical soothing sounds, rocking the baby gently. He adjusted the nipple on the bottle, hoping it was clean and handed the bottle to the baby, who promptly popped it into his mouth. He glanced up to find Leo watching them both, blinking slowly.

“I have to give him his medicine and he won’t take it,” Leo said quietly, looking at Kun desperately.

“I’ll do it,” Kun said. He’d had experience with all his siblings and his own son and knew exactly what to do with a sick child. Leo, on the other hand, had only had one younger sibling and she’d been much younger. He’d been spoilt, what with Anto being so good with Thiago and the nanny too. He’d probably never been alone with Thiago when he was sick before.

He sat on the stool opposite Leo, cradling the baby as he drank slowly from the bottle. His nose was still leaking continuously and Kun wiped it carefully, tossing the tissue aside. He ran his fingers through Thiago’s hair over and over again—and, sure enough, the baby’s eyelids started to droop.

When Thiago’s mouth stopped moving, Kun popped the half-finished bottle out of his mouth. He looked up at Leo who was still watching them blearily. “Get the medicine.”

Leo walked groggily, almost drunkenly, towards the kitchen counter and came back with a dark bottle. He poured half a capful of the pinkish liquid and pushed it towards Kun.

Kun angled the baby up, cradling his head in one hand, and gently murmured Thiago’s name. The baby’s eyes opened sleepily and Kun didn’t waste a second, tipping the entire cap into his mouth.

Before the baby could cough it up, Kun slipped the bottle back into his protesting mouth and Thiago started sucking out of reflex. Smiling in triumph, he looked up at Leo.

And saw tears in Leo’s eyes.

“What?” Kun asked worriedly.

Leo shook his head. “I was so… I tried so hard. He was burning up. I was so afraid.” His voice was hoarse and exhausted.

“Come here,” Kun said gently.

Leo shuffled over to him, leaning heavily against the table. With his right hand, Kun wrapped an arm around Leo’s waist, pulling him close. Leo was standing so Kun’s head came up to his chest. Leo seemed too tired to even hug back properly and Kun let go of him.

“Go shower,” he said.

Leo nodded. “Are you okay with the baby?” he said hesitantly.

“We’re fine. Go, go.”

Leo left before Kun could really finish the sentence and Kun waited a moment before he laughed.

 _Poor guy_.

He waited until he was sure Thiago had fallen fast asleep before slowly going up the stairs. He had been to Leo’s house before and knew all the bedrooms well. He made his way to the baby’s bedroom and gently placed him in his bed, making sure to surround him with pillows. The baby stirred but went straight back to sleep and Kun tiptoed out, closing the door noiselessly behind him.

He rolled up his sleeves and made his way down to the kitchen, thinking he’d better feed Leo before the man collapsed.

He stood at the threshold and sighed. He’d better clean up the damn place first. It took the bulk of his time making the place halfway presentable and when he finally started chopping up vegetables, Leo had emerged from the shower.

He looked fresher, hair wet, but still exhausted. He padded into the kitchen silently and watched Kun for a little while. Kun smiled at him, but there was no response from Leo so he went about cooking.

“Sit,” he said. Leo sat obediently, almost like a child, simply staring at Kun.

Kun cooked quickly, not bothering much about making a delicious meal, knowing Leo had a very short time left before he fell asleep right here in the kitchen. By the time the soup was done, Leo had already propped his chin up on his hands, his eyes drowsy.

He poured a steaming bowl of it in front of Leo, plunking a spoon into it. “Eat,” he commanded. “All of it.”

Leo ate ravenously, quickly, and Kun briefly wondered how long it’d been since he’d had a square meal. He shook his head inwardly. Who could believe this was a four time Ballon D’Or winner? A man who could barely take care of himself and a toddler?

Kun perched in front of him, watching him eat. When Leo was done, he pushed it back to Kun, mumbling hoarsely, “More.”

Kun shook his head. “No, you’ll get sick. Let’s put you to bed.”

Leo frowned. “No, let’s talk. I don’t think I could sleep anyway.”

Kun stifled a smile. He could barely keep his eyes open. But he knew better than to argue with a cranky, exhausted Messi. He nodded indulgently. “Why don’t we go to the living room and talk there?” he suggested innocently.

Leo agreed and they moved to the living room. Kun immediately lay down on the long velvet couch, gesturing for Leo to do the same. He grinned when Leo did so gratefully, propping his head up on one of the couch’s many cushions.

Leo fixed his eyes on Kun. “You start.”

Kun swallowed, his heart beating fast now. “I decided.”

Leo said nothing, simply looked at Kun. And, suddenly, Kun felt the incongruity of the situation. Leo wasn’t ready to have this conversation. He was tired, exhausted. But Kun needed to tell him. He couldn’t wait.

“I’m in.”

Leo’s eyes were a little more alert now. “How in are you?” he said softly.

“A hundred percent,” Kun replied quietly. He sat up, unable to talk to Leo about such an important thing while on his back. He leaned forward, elbows on knees, and looked earnestly at Leo. “I’m all in.”

Leo’s eyes were unwavering. “You can’t keep changing your mind.”

Kun shook his head, swallowing. “I won’t.”

That made Leo smile for the first time. “You will,” he said. The words weren’t bitter, just matter-of-fact. “You can’t just wake up and not be scared all of a sudden.”

It stung a little. But it was a fair statement and Kun had to allow it. He deserved some part of that. “But I don’t want to be without you.”

Leo closed his eyes. “You can’t play games with me. You can’t be passive aggressive.”

Kun fought not to get angry. He knew he had earned that, but it still pissed him off. “I won’t.”

Leo propped up his pillow a little more so he was more upright. He looked at Kun, eyes assessing. “You can’t be jealous of Ney.”

Even the mention of him bothered Kun. The nickname was what pissed him off. Couldn’t he just call him _Neymar_? He sighed. “I don’t want to be. But I am.” It was a humiliating admission, but it had to be said. He wanted to be honest.

Leo shook his head in exasperation. “Why, Kun? Where does he come into our relationship? You’re the one I want. Don’t you know that?”

Kun shifted. The words were thrilling. “Maybe I don’t. Or maybe I can’t believe it.”

Leo sighed. “You know something, if I wasn’t a famous football player, I would be nothing. I’m not smart, I’m not talented, I can’t make conversation like you. I’m not even good-looking.” He held up a hand as Kun opened his mouth. “Wait. It’s true. I’m not. I’m not conventionally good-looking. But you are. You’re all those things. You’re funny and sweet and everyone loves talking to you. And you’re easy on the eyes,” Leo said, smiling affectionately.

Kun couldn’t help smiling back. “That’s not true, Leo. You have integrity, loyalty. You’re honest. Those are amazing qualities.”

Leo shook his head. “A dog has those too. Listen, I’m nothing special. But you are. I know that. And I love you. But you can’t keep second-guessing us. This game isn’t fun.”

Kun nodded. “I know. I just… It takes over me, sometimes.”

Leo was quiet, looking at Kun. “It’ll take time for you to trust me. It doesn’t happen in a second.”

“I trust you!”

Leo laughed softly, but without any malice. “I know. I know you do. But you don’t trust us. That’s what I meant.”

“I want to.”

Leo nodded. “Okay. That’s a start, at least. But you can’t run away, Kun. Not again. You can’t shut down. You can’t ice me out. That hurts.”

“I—” Kun trailed off, out of words, feeling guilt overwhelm him. “I’m sorry.”

“You can’t make me chase you forever. I thought you were the one who loved me more?” Leo said, gently teasing.

Kun couldn’t smile. “I do, of course I do. But I’m so sc—” He broke off, shaking his head.

“I am too, you know,” Leo said softly. “But I don’t care.”

Something about that statement sent joy soaring through Kun. He felt an overwhelming elation fill him. “I love you,” he said suddenly.

Leo laughed. “I know.”

“Say it back.”

Leo grinned. His eyes were drooping again. “No.”

Kun huffed, but they smiled at each other. “I’ll fight you tomorrow,” he said. “You’re weak tonight.”

That made Leo laugh loudly. “Come here,” he said.

Kun stood, heart beating quickly. He perched on the couch next to Leo, their hips touching. Leo slipped his fingers through Kun’s and the touch felt like fire. They hadn’t been together in weeks.

“Give me a kiss,” Leo said, eyes on Kun’s mouth.

Kun felt butterflies in his stomach. He leaned forward slowly, savouring the moment. He let go of Leo’s hands, bracing himself gently on his chest. Leo’s hands moved up, sliding up the sides of Kun’s body.

Kun brushed his lips against Leo and it felt like golden pleasure. It was sweet, no tongues, just their lips soft and clinging. Until Leo’s mouth parted under Kun.

The first touch of their tongues made Kun a little weak and he leaned hard against Leo. They kissed for minutes after that, getting to know each other’s mouths again, familiar and not-so-familiar all at once. Kun wondered how he would go back to Manchester after this. How he would ever stop kissing Leo.

It was Leo who pressed him back gently. “I want to do this,” he said breathlessly, “But I’m so tired.”

For Leo to admit he was tired, he was probably so exhausted he was going to collapse. Kun kissed him quickly, then leaned back. “Come,” he said. “Let’s get you to bed.”

They held hands as they moved and it was both awkward and extraordinarily sweet. It was obvious they still had things to discuss, but at least they had made some amends.

Kun put Leo to bed, but he moved to the guest bedroom. Leo protested a little, but Kun knew it was too soon. If he slept there, they would have sex in the morning and he didn’t want that until they’d finished their conversation.

But as he slipped under his covers, he smiled.

Because, suddenly, being with Leo seemed so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So obviously there's more conversation needed to be had between these two, but small steps :) Until now, whenever someone commented that they didn't want the fic to end, I always said it was nowhere in sight, but... I have to warn you guys, I'm starting to see the end for the first time. I don't know when exactly yet (and I don't want to fully commit to an exact number) but... two/three chapters, tops. So get ready! ;)
> 
> That said, I loved all your comments, but I'm so tired rn. I hardly slept last night and I really need to catch some "zzz"s. So I'll reply to them tomorrow morning. So sorry! And thanks for being so patient. You guys rock my socks! <333


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hi, guys! (This is such a late update that I won't even make excuses for it! I'm sorry.) 
> 
> So you might have noticed that there are no more chapters left ^^. Well, this is the final chapter. I'll be writing an epilogue soon, but this is basically the end. Hope you enjoy!

Kun was woken up by a high, piping voice and fingers poking urgently at his eyeballs. Shifting quickly in irritation, he sat up, only to be faced with Thiago’s beaming expression about an inch away.

“Kun!” the baby squealed happily, straddling his chest, kneeing him squarely in the ribs while doing so.

Kun swallowed a curse at the pain now streaking in his side, stifling a sigh. Thiago had an action figure in his hand and waved it so close to Kun’s face that it was just a blur.

Kun jerked his head back a little, afraid for his eyeballs again. “Who’s that?” he mumbled, yawning widely.

Thiago launched into an inarticulate explanation of who the action figure was and Kun tried to listen. He really did. But after a few minutes, he wondered where Leo was. He felt a fluttering in his chest that had nothing to do with the chubby toddler bouncing happily on his ribs.

They had a lot to discuss—and he hoped it was all going to end well.

Midway through Thiago’s never-ending chatter, he scooped the baby into his arms and made his way to the bathroom. The toddler seemed unfazed by this treatment, continuing to regale Kun with stories. He brushed his teeth like that, Thiago propped on the bathroom counter, still talking, Kun’s arm on the counter caging him in safely so he wouldn’t fall.

He decided to pee later, not exactly sure how comfortable Leo would be with this situation. Helping the baby hop down, they went into the kitchen hand-in-hand, shuffling along in their pajamas.

“Papi!” Thiago cried, tugging on Kun’s hand to show Leo the visitor.

Leo smiled, looking up. He was sitting on one of the kitchen stools, his phone in his hand.

Kun smiled toothily at Leo, his heart overflowing with good humour.

The baby ran at Leo and he scooped him up, laughing. “Papi, look—Kun, Papi!” He pointed at Kun as if Leo hadn’t seen him already.

Leo looked at Kun, his eyes warm, his mouth curved in a small smile. “Yes, there’s Kun,” he said, his voice low.

Kun felt the words brush him as if Leo had touched him personally. He suddenly wished they could skip the discussion, that the baby could be put to bed right away because he really, _really_ wanted to kiss Leo. Right then and there.

Leo seemed to understand because his smile was mischievous and he kept his eyes trained on Kun’s. Kun looked away, knowing full well that one of them had to have some self-restraint.

He took a deep breath and plopped over on another stool, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He could see that the baby was tugging urgently on Leo’s shirt, trying to attract his attention. Distracted, Leo looked at his son and Kun grinned inwardly. Nothing like a baby to kill the mood.

Thiago seemed intent on showing Leo something in the other room and Leo sent an apologetic look to Kun who waved him away cheerfully. After they left, Kun called Benja, chatting to him quickly before he left school and then calling up his assistant to see how things were going.

Leo and Thiago were a long time returning and when they did come back, Kun could see that Thiago was showered and dressed and wearing his backpack.

Frowning, he turned to Leo, “Isn’t he sick? Why’re you sending him to school?”

“Not school,” Leo said, shaking his head. “He’s going to my brother’s today. He’s better but I don’t want him to go to school yet. He just loves his backpack.”

Kun grinned at Thiago who giggled. “Why your brother’s?”

“He has a playdate. And besides, I thought we could talk.”

Kun looked up quickly at Leo, nodding, his heart beating fast. When Leo’s brother came to pick the baby up, they exchanged hugs, chatting briefly about their children and families. Rodrigo left soon after, Thiago’s chubby fist curled comfortably in his.

When Leo closed the door, Kun felt his heart begin to beat uncomfortably fast. An awkward tension filled the room as Leo turned around to face him. They were both still in their pajamas and it felt uncomfortable, almost too intimate.

He _had_ seen Leo naked, but this was different. There was too much still undecided between them and he felt like jeans gave him a protection his flimsy cotton pajamas didn’t.

Leo met his eyes squarely like he always did, unafraid. People underestimated how strong, how brave Leo really was. Kun admired him, his resilience, his ability to get on with life, his unfailing ability to move on.

Kun felt buoyed by it, by Leo’s strength. It was harder for Leo. He had more to lose if their relationship went public—he was much more famous, much bigger than Kun in a way they both understood keenly. It was this thought that sent an electric surge through Kun’s spine, snapping it straight. He felt suddenly fearless, confident in Leo in a way he had never been before.

Leo seemed to sense it because he stilled, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

Kun smiled at Leo brightly, his trademark grin, teeth all on display. He was suddenly so proud of the fact that _Leo_ wanted him, Leo wanted _him_ —of all people, of everyone in the universe.

It made him giddy with joy, head swimming with confidence. He stood up impulsively, making to go to Leo when Leo’s phone rang, stilling them both.

When Leo’s eyes snapped up from his phone to meet Kun’s, eyes full of anxiety, Kun _knew_. As quickly as his mood had risen, it sank, like a balloon popping. Ugly jealousy filled him and he felt it twist darkly inside him, making him both numb and torn apart all at the same time.

Kun could see Leo making to silence it, but he shook his head. “Answer it,” he said hollowly.

Leo’s eyes searched his and then he took a deep breath and swiped quickly at the screen. “Hey, Ney,” he said casually, his gaze still fixed on Kun’s.

Kun had known, but the name still jarred him. He turned away, but Leo’s hand was on his arm so fast, he was taken by surprise. He stopped because of it, facing Leo, who had moved to his side. Leo was still chatting to Ney, but his eyes were dark and angry, a warning.

He shook his head at Kun, his mouth firm. Kun felt angry in turn that Leo would expect him to stay when he knew how he felt about it. But Leo’s eyes were so furious, Kun knew there was no escape.

He turned back to his stool, perching on it, keeping his eyes down, trying to block out the conversation. Leo ended it soon after and then placed his phone on the countertop with a calmness he obviously didn’t feel.

There was a pregnant pause.

“When,” he said quietly, “are you going to trust me, Kun?”

“I trust you—”

“No, obviously not,” Leo cut in, face grim and set.

“Leo—” Kun said, voice shaking.

“Shut. Up,” Leo bit, so furious he was vibrating with rage. “You are an IDIOT. You don’t know _anything_! Have I ever given you reason to doubt me? Have I fucked around on you? Have I flirted with other guys? Have I kissed someone while we were together?”

Stunned, Kun could only stare. “I—”

“I said _shut up_. Who the fuck do you think you are? Need I remind you that _you_ kissed someone other than me recently? You know the last time I kissed someone whose name wasn’t Kun? I can’t even fucking remember!”

Kun kept silent, eyes wide, just watching Leo explode. Leo was leaning against the countertop, still except for the unnatural vibration of his fury. His hands were clenched, knuckles white.

“Leo—”

“ _What_ , Kun?” Leo snapped. “ _What_ could you possibly say to make this okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Kun said quietly. “I shouldn’t have gotten jealous. You’re right. You’ve never given me a reason to be jealous. I’m just so in love with you—”

“This isn’t about love, Kun. This is about you. Your insecurities.”

Kun was silent. That was a hard thing to agree to. He nodded slowly, swallowing hard. “Yes. I—I’m just so scared of losing you.”

That made Leo’s eyes soften. “But why? If I haven’t left your side when you were 17 years old, why would I now?”

Kun took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Leo. I’ll try—”

Leo shook his head. “No. Tell me what I can say to convince you. What’s it going to take to make you trust me?”

That left Kun at a loss. “I—I really don’t know,” he confessed. “Maybe it’s just something that needs time.”

“So you’re saying I’m going to have to keep dealing with this?” Leo looked aghast at this and it made Kun laugh hard, cutting the tension.

“No. Well,” he amended, “Yes. But I’ll try to be better at this too. Maybe we just need to deal with it better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, no yelling,” Kun said mischievously. Leo gave him a warning look so he continued swiftly, “I don’t know. Maybe I should just tell you whenever I get jealous and you can reassure me.”

“Will you actually tell me when you are?”

Kun took a deep breath. “Yes, I will. I’ll tell you whenever I’m scared or afraid instead of just running away.”

Leo nodded. “Yes. That would work.”

“But,” Kun said hesitantly, “You really shouldn’t yell, you know. And you have to be a little understanding here.”

Leo looked like he wanted to say something to that, but instead he nodded. “You’re right. We both need to be a little mature about things.”

Kun grinned at Leo, feeling relief unfurling in his chest so fast it made him giddy. “I’m plenty mature.”

Leo snorted, looking askance at Kun. “Don’t even get me started.”

Kun touched the back of Leo’s hand gently. “I want to make this work. I don’t want to be without you anymore. I don’t want to fight with you. I hate it. It ruins my entire day.”

Leo’s smile was very warm. “It doesn’t exactly make mine, you know. But I want to do this too.” He flipped his hand over, clasping Kun’s, their palms cool and dry against each other.

Kun felt like laughing because of sheer joy. “So,” he said, trying to act nonchalant, “are we boyfriends?”

Leo grinned, his dimples appearing suddenly. “Hmm,” he said, eyes crinkling in amusement. “Are we?”

Kun tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Well,” he said casually. “I’m single. You are too. So why not?”

Leo raised his eyebrows. “Oh, is that the criteria? Hmm. Then I could be almost anyone’s boyfriend.”

Kun suppressed a laugh. “But you don’t love them.”

Leo nodded very seriously. “You’re right.”

Kun leaned forward on his elbows and smiling significantly, said, “I love you, you know.”

Leo was smiling slightly too. “I know.”

Kun raised his eyebrows. “And?”

Leo raised his eyebrows in turn, his expression laughing. “And?”

“And you love…?” Kun trailed, waving his hand for Leo to go on.

“Thiago?”

Kun huffed. “Well, yes. But after Thiago?”

“My mom?” There was a definite smile on Leo’s face now.

Kun knew Leo was joking, but he felt irritated nonetheless. “Well, okay, yes, after family.”

“Anto?”

“You know what? I don’t love you. I take it back.” Fuming, Kun stood up, going to stalk away. Laughing, Leo put an arm on Kun’s, stopping him.

“Wait, don’t you want to know what I feel for you?”

Kun turned back to look at Leo’s politely inquiring face. Suspicious, he sat back down. “Okay, and what do _you_ feel for me?”

“I don’t love you,” Leo said thoughtfully.

Thoroughly fed up, Kun swore and got up again. Laughing hard now, Leo called after him, following Kun to the living room. “Wait, you didn’t let me finish!”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Kun said, plopping on the couch, so disgruntled he wanted to smack Leo hard.

“Are you sure?” Leo asked teasingly, sitting right next to Kun.

Kun knew it was childish, but he immediately inched away. Leo, infuriatingly, moved even closer. “I’m very sure.”

“Well,” Leo said, trying to thread his fingers through Kun, who batted it away. “I wanted to say that I don’t love you—because it’s something more than that. It’s cheesier than love. So of course you’re my boyfriend.”

Kun turned to Leo, genuinely surprised. Leo rarely opened up like this. “What’s cheesier than love?”

Leo smiled slightly, clearly embarrassed. “How I feel about you.”

It was corny. Kun knew it. It was terribly, awfully, insanely cheesy and corny and over-the-top, but it was also amazing and beautiful and _exactly_ how he felt about Leo. “I love cheese.”

Leo grinned, more at ease now. “Mm, yes. Let’s order a pizza.”

Kun laughed. He leaned into Leo suddenly, kissing him impulsively. He intended it to be a quick kiss, meant to show how much he appreciated their relationship, but Leo didn’t break the kiss, following Kun when he tried to move back.

Kun felt himself hardening almost immediately. It had been a few weeks since they’d had sex and he was suddenly ravenous for Leo—the emotion of the situation, of having Leo back made him desperate. Like a lightning bolt to his crotch, his cock came to life, throbbing in his pants. Leo seemed equally hungry for Kun and they clawed at each other’s clothes.

Kun’s T-shirt came off first, landing softly on the floor. He helped Leo remove his own shirt and they kissed like that for a few momens, naked skin pressed together, burning on contact. The kiss was sloppy, rough, tongues lapping hotly against each other.

Kun felt their teeth grind against each other, but he didn’t care. Leo was pushing Kun down on the couch and he willingly lay back, spreading his legs so Leo could press a thigh against his crotch. It throbbed hard at the contact and Kun couldn’t help but arch his hips, a small moan escaping him.

He could feel Leo hard against his own thigh. The thin material of their pajamas left nothing to the imagination and this was both doubly frustrating and arousing.

Leo’s mouth was hard and hot against him and Kun felt himself continuously buck up into Leo’s thigh, aching for more. He was throbbing and leaking and so fucking _ready_.

When Leo broke the kiss, gasping, Kun, who was in no mood for foreplay, could only murmur, “Lube, lube.”

Leo cursed, clambering off. Kun rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into Leo’s velvet couch, trying desperately to calm himself down while he waited for Leo to fetch the lube. His cock pressed hard into the velvet cushions and it was both painful and incredible.

Somehow the wait made it hotter and he felt himself get more and more aroused at the thought of what was going to happen in a few minutes. When he felt Leo’s hand brushing his shoulder, he made to roll on his back, utterly desperate for Leo now, but Leo stilled him.

“No. Stay like that.”

Kun shut his eyes tightly, almost moaning in anticipation. When he felt Leo’s hands pulling his pants down, he lifted his hips and Leo drew his boxers down too in one swift motion. He could hear Leo’s breathing louder than usual and the sound aroused him.

“Please,” he whispered.

He felt Leo’s hand tightening around his thigh in response. He could hear Leo moving around and when Leo brushed his ass gently, saying, “Kneel, Kun,” he did so immediately.

He felt vulnerable, laid open, and so achingly hard for Leo, his cock almost brushing his stomach. He felt Leo’s finger rub gently around his entrance and, for once, Kun didn’t complain about how slow Leo was going. The anticipation made it hotter and when Leo’s first lubed finger stretched him slowly, finally, he felt every tiny centimeter as it moved inside him. He let out a long low moan at that first touch.

Nothing could beat that first touch, that first thrust, that first entry. The dark pain-pleasure of it, the stretching and the utter eroticism—no subsequent thrusts could match it for sheer beauty, sheer raw sensation.

And so Kun savoured it, let his eyes fall shut, let his mind close down to everything but Leo’s finger giving him everything he’d wanted for days, weeks. He concentrated on that finger as if it were a lifeline, as Leo found a rhythm, pumping in and out slowly.

Kun waited and waited, but Leo seemed content to fuck Kun with one finger forever so finally Kun gasped, “Please, Leo.”

So Leo obliged, gradually adding another finger, the stretch both painful and making Kun harder. Kun rode his fingers almost instinctively, his breaths coming as sighs as he felt Leo’s oiled fingers slide smoothly in and out of him, scissoring, stretching Kun.

He brushed Kun’s prostate only after a while, whether because he was teasing Kun or because he had forgotten where it was, Kun didn’t know.

The pleasure of it surprised Kun, almost as if his body had forgotten how good it could be. He arched his spine in reaction, catching his breath sharply. Leo’s fingers stilled too, but then he kept moving inside Kun, taking care to touch his prostate each time.

It was getting intensely pleasurable now and Kun wanted to give in, wanted to reach under his body and pump himself into a lazy, achingly good orgasm. But he wanted to come with Leo and so he waited, waited for Leo to stretch him out.

When he couldn’t wait any longer, he gasped Leo’s name. “Please, please.”

Leo’s hand came to rest on Kun’s spine. Kun took a deep breath, willing his body to relax as Leo slowly removed his fingers. Kun felt his asshole clench in response and he moaned in embarrassment, cheeks flushing with even more colour.

But then he felt Leo cock brush his entrance. He began to breathe harder, the anticipation making his skin prickle. And when Leo slowly sank in, Kun bit his lip, squeezing his eyes tight.

It was more painful than Kun had remembered and he gritted his teeth. The first few thrusts made Kun deflate a little and he felt himself get a little anxious at the pain. But then Leo started to brush his prostate with every slow thrust and Kun started relaxing.

And it started to feel— _oh_.

It was starting to feel _good_. Kun bit his lip, trying not to moan as Leo began to move just that tiny bit faster, his pumps just a little harder. Kun’s head dropped, his world reduced only to sensation—Leo’s cock in and out, sending zings of pleasure as it brushed again and again against Kun’s prostate.

When Leo grinded against him, Kun let out the moan he’d been holding. He was a mess after that, murmuring Leo’s name in increasingly louder tones, gasping and crying out.

He’d forgotten how painful it was, but he’d also forgotten how fucking _good_ it was. Leo used his signature move: moving so little that it was continous pressure on Kun’s prostate, constant stimulation, constant sensation. It sent him into a haze of pleasure.

And when Leo’s hand finally came to touch him, pumping his cock slowly, Kun almost whimpered.

It didn’t take many strokes before Kun was panting. Leo’s hand was hot on his even hotter cock, stroking the skin firmly, dragging it back and forth wetly, noisily. He cried Leo’s name almost like a mantra, saying unintelligible things.

When he came, it was all Leo: Leo’s hand moving faster and faster, Leo thrusting inside him firmly, Leo leaning down and mouthing against his neck. It was incredibly good, his cock pulsing and erupting into Leo’s hands.

He shuddered, feeling like he couldn’t stop coming, couldn’t stop spurting. He collapsed immediately after and Leo thrust a few more times before coming too, murmuring Kun’s name.

Leo nudged him to turn over and Kun did weakly, tiredly. And as Leo kissed him, their mouths soft against each other’s mouth, just gently touching, Kun felt emotion choke his throat.

“I love you,” he whispered against Leo’s lips.

“I love you more,” Leo whispered back, kissing Kun hard.

And Kun’s last thought before he drifted off to sleep was that it was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, finally Kunessi! Haha. I hope you guys liked it. 
> 
> So I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's been patient with me along the way, commenting and giving kudos and giving me all sorts of encouragement. I really appreciate it and I've really had fun writing this. Thank you all so much <3333


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